Ever find yourself caught in the relentless cycle of accomplishing tasks, yet feeling as if it’s never enough? It’s an all-too-common struggle, especially as we juggle multiple roles. Let’s discover how to navigate distractions, manage fatigue, and break free from the loop of endless doing without achieving the intended results.
What’s more terrifying than the prospect of failure? Often, it’s the pursuit of perfection. Join me as we unpack the fear of failure and the crippling grip of perfectionism, both of which, I’ve found, can hinder our progress toward our goals. We’ll look into how these fears can manifest as anxiety, overwhelm, and even stagnation. I’ll share strategies that have helped me identify, address, and overcome these barriers, allowing for increased productivity and a clearer path toward our goals.
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[00:00:56] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 113. I hope that you are doing well. You’re feeling amazing and you’re ready for today’s topic. And I do want to warn you. I am feeling a little tired. But also I am filling my body. Um, feel, um, I guess what’s the word I’m looking for? I am. Having more difficulty.
[00:01:21] Wendi: Breathing when I’m sitting down. So, um, I’m tired. And that’s because I’ve back to my normal routine at four 30 mornings. And I’m not going to bed as early as I would like to. Um, but still getting enough, sleep enough, rest to where I feel really good in the morning, but then I feel myself, you know, getting tired at later in the evening.
[00:01:45] Wendi: And as I sit here and record this episode, I was thinking I should have really stood in and, you know, standing in front of my microphone. Versus sitting down because now. I literally feeling like I am going to have to like take pauses [00:02:00] so that I can breathe because I feel like I’m just. Um, You know, having trouble like talking and breathing at the same time.
[00:02:07] Wendi: As I am getting bigger. For those that do not know I am having a baby this year, the end of October. And, you know, got a willing, all of it is going to go smoothly and it’s been a while, so I’m a little nervous, but at the same time, super, super excited, but just wanted to throw that out there in case you hear me pause or.
[00:02:30] Wendi: My breathing doesn’t sound as normal. I just want to let you know. But now. That’s today’s topic. I want to talk about what may be slowing you down from actually being productive or from producing. The outcomes or results that you want, right. From really just slowing you down in a, in a point where.
[00:02:54] Wendi: You know, you could be doing more or producing more out of. What [00:03:00] you typically plan for the week? And possibly not there yet. Right. So you’re possibly not. Um, you feel like you’re doing, doing, doing, but you’re not producing what you had intended to, especially at the beginning of the week. Or at the beginning of the month and, you know, being that we are.
[00:03:20] Wendi: Um, very close to the middle of the month. You know, kind of reflect and on, you know, what are you possibly behind on, or maybe something that you thought you were going to get done. And now you’re like, man, I haven’t even started. Or whatever that may look like for you. And so this is something that I think all of us struggle with. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman in the military, not in the military, you married or not married.
[00:03:45] Wendi: Th this is just something that has become harder and harder because as you guys know, there’s many more distractions out there. And we sometimes even, you know, tend to create distractions, um, unconsciously. Right. And I’ll talk about [00:04:00] that in another episode, but in a future episode, But the one thing that I’ve noticed that I didn’t know, I was kind of like striving for.
[00:04:10] Wendi: In a way where it wasn’t, you know, direct like, okay, I’m going to strive to be this type of person, or I want it to be a hundred percent correct. And perfect. I didn’t, I didn’t know that that was what I had intended or wanting to do, but that’s where I was going with that. I wanted everything to be perfect.
[00:04:28] Wendi: And not necessarily in a way where, you know, there’s, um, zero error or zero failure. It was more so of me being worried. About it not. Looking or seeming even perfect. Right. So it wasn’t even like I wanted it to be a hundred percent. Perfect. Perfect. I just wanted it to be like 99.9%. Great. And very minimal error, very minimal mistakes, or even room for failure.
[00:04:59] Wendi: And [00:05:00] so I started noticing this I’m obviously when I started to get coached. And one of the questions that my coach asked me was what are you. What are you afraid of? And I’m like, what do you mean? Why am I afraid? She’s like, yeah, why haven’t you started doing this one thing that you keep talking about and there’s no.
[00:05:15] Wendi: Action behind it. Oh, there was a lot of action, but not an actual, um, Um, what’s the word and actual. Action. That was propelling me forward. Making any progress pretty much. And so I was like tiptoeing around this thing. And so any who, when she asked me, I’m like, what do you mean when I’m scared? Almost scared of.
[00:05:36] Wendi: I don’t know what I’m scared of. Like, what do you mean. And she’s like, no, it seems like you’re just afraid of it not going well, or you failing or it just to become something that doesn’t go the way you envisioned it. And so that was the very first time that I realized I was delaying. The actual.
[00:05:57] Wendi: Uh, producing of that theme, [00:06:00] I was delaying the work. Because in my mind, I was thinking, oh no, it’s not ready yet. Or I’m not ready to do this X. You know, IZEA thing. For example, like my transition I’m like, I’m just not ready. It’s, you know, it has to be a great time and the timeframe and all of these other things I have to have, you know, my debt paid off and have to have this degree.
[00:06:25] Wendi: And all these things certifications. And so for me, it was like one an eye-opener of understanding what that really meant. Right. Okay. So am I a perfectionist? Am I delaying this work because I don’t want to fail. And the truth was I was not a perfectionist. I don’t think I have ever, you know, strive to be perfectionist. I always look at like type eight people being perfectionist.
[00:06:51] Wendi: Um, but not, not everyone is a perfectionist, I want to say. And so I think if you. Have you caught yourself? [00:07:00] In a place where you’re like, okay, I want to get this done. I know how to get it done. Um, I’m doing things, but there’s still no progress. I want you to really ask yourself, is this something that maybe you’re trying to perfect before you get it out there before you take that leap? And if the answer is yes, then, you know, that’s a good thing. Good news is that, you know, what’s holding you back. It’s perfectionism.
[00:07:24] Wendi: Or maybe even you just wanting to be. A perfect product, the perfect thing. And so, or idea, whatever them, it looked like you want an, a perfect outcome and there’s nothing wrong with that. Right? I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you wanting to have something that is so great. And something that is just, um, that you’re proud of.
[00:07:46] Wendi: But when it does become a problem is when it’s slowing you down. And you’re even, um, You’re even feeling this negative emotion that you’re not even aware of. So, for example, for me, it was fear. [00:08:00] I was really scared and nothing wrong with being scared, but I didn’t know that at the time that that’s what I was really avoiding.
[00:08:08] Wendi: And so in order to avoid it, I would delay it. I would delay the PR the productivity, the producing, the actual progress that I wanted to make. Because I was scared. I didn’t want to transition. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to be a veteran that didn’t have a job. I didn’t want to be a veteran that, you know,
[00:08:28] Wendi: They didn’t have a successful transition. Let’s just say. And so whatever that may look like for you, you know, maybe dating, I might be getting married. I may be having a child. It may be as simple as talking to your kids about the Bible, getting into the word with your kids. It may be as simple as, um, having this conversation with your husband. It may be as simple as trying something new.
[00:08:51] Wendi: Maybe a different certification or a whole different career path. But again, The reason you may be. Um, [00:09:00] You know, becoming unproductive or being unproductive in that area. Is because you are possibly. I’m holding onto this. Perfect product or this perfect outcome. That you’re envisioning or that you’re thinking that it has to be.
[00:09:17] Wendi: Right. So another way I like to kind of describe, um, This whole perfectionism. You know, mentality or even, um, way of thinking is. When you are wanting to attach. Two. Um, other people’s opinions. Of that one thing. Right? So for example, If, so, if you were to say, Hey, I’m going to. You know, make this transition.
[00:09:46] Wendi: And I, I respond to you. Well, you know, you really need to have everything planned. Everything has to be in place. And I just started telling all these things that need to be, you know, In place and in check. And then you’re like, okay. That [00:10:00] was. Very scary. Everything you just said. And now, I don’t know if I’m going to take this leap or if this is going to happen, right.
[00:10:09] Wendi: You you’ve attached that other person’s opinions slash sentences. To that circumstance or to that situation. And so when we do that, we’re like, okay, we have to get it right. We have to make sure we do it. To the best of our ability. Right. Which again, there’s nothing wrong with that. But when you start to notice that that’s, what’s slowing you down.
[00:10:32] Wendi: And not only that, you’re not like you’re now scared of even feeling this emotion, or even considering that it’s not going to go the way you think it’s going to go or the perfect way. Right. Then now you’re delaying. And now what that’s causing you is to be. Very unproductive. In that area, in that field, in that situation.
[00:10:53] Wendi: And so. Again. And when my clients were like, well, you know, we’ll, how do you, you know, Do all these [00:11:00] things, or you get so much done in a very little bit of amount of time. The one thing I always ask them, you know, is. One, are you giving yourself a time limit? Are you allowing yourself to be honest and really ask yourself like, this is how much time I want to spend on planning. This is how much time I want to spend on producing this, this one thing.
[00:11:26] Wendi: This one actions, tasks that I need to do. And then again, are you. Able to be okay. With it being scary with it not being a hundred percent perfect. Because I think that this is really what. Um, Makes, especially women, very hesitant in making decisions. It makes us sometimes even paralyzed. On, you know, what to do next or what.
[00:11:53] Wendi: Um, You know, path to follow. Because we want it. Unconsciously to be [00:12:00] perfect. And in a way where I don’t know, I don’t know when I shared this. I know it was like sometime last year. Where. I wanted to talk to my kids about the Bible I wanted to, I wanted them to learn. I wanted to, you know, Really start getting into the word.
[00:12:15] Wendi: But the one thing that was holding me back was, oh, I am not an expert. I am running myself. I mean, you know, Or people like to call baby Christians. And so for me, I wanted it to be perfect or in my head, I’m like, I have to make sure that I’m teaching them correctly. And I am understanding Genesis chapter one inside and out. And, you know, I had all these things.
[00:12:39] Wendi: Kind of playing in my mind. And Noah was not giving myself any time to. Just focus on preparing for a 10 minute session with them. I was just like, you know, delaying and delaying the actual, um, Uh, not, not, um, topic, but the [00:13:00] actual session, even topic or session. Planning. I was literally just tiptoeing around all of, all of the, all of that.
[00:13:10] Wendi: And so I think that we do that in a lot of art, a lot of areas of our lives. Right. We do that with our home. We do that with our relationships. We do that with. Um, as a mother, we do that inner in our careers as a leader. And we’re like, no, we don’t really want to really do this one thing because we need it to be perfect.
[00:13:28] Wendi: We want it to be something that’s not going to fail and guarantee me. Or guarantee that it’s going to turn out the way we want it to. And I think that most of the time, the only thing that is, or that we’re creating is delaying, especially when we don’t realize that. This perfectionism mentality has kind of creeped in.
[00:13:51] Wendi: And again it’s because, um, We are scared. Right. And again, I don’t think that I would consider [00:14:00] myself a perfectionist by any means. Because I am okay with messing up. I am okay with, you know, sending out an email that maybe has a wo a word misspelled. But again, I have noticed that there are some things that I am trying to perfect because I am scared.
[00:14:20] Wendi: I am scared of feeling or there’s this little fear of it not being to someone else’s standards. And so again, I want you to check that I want you to consider. If this is you. If this is possibly what’s slowing you down from being productive. In that one area and why not do it now when we’re in the middle of the month and you’re like, Hey, we’re really, you know, how are we going to finish up July? Um, either financially, how are we going to finish up July?
[00:14:48] Wendi: With, you know, X activities health-wise with any goals that you’ve already set for yourself, because it’s so important. If it is perfectionism. Or you being a perfectionist. [00:15:00] That is holding you back and Delaine. That work because. You’re scared of, you know, feeling or judgment or whatever that may look like for you. So.
[00:15:10] Wendi: Telling it temporarily will only prevent. Um, temporary failure, temporary judgment. So I want to offer you today. To stop delaying it. And really consider that. You may be in perfection, perfectionism mentality. And that’s what maybe don’t. Keeping you and holding you back from being productive in that one field.
[00:15:31] Wendi: All right, ladies, that’s all that I have for you today. I hope that this episode helps you and encourages you to keep moving forward and making progress. All right, have a beautiful rest of your day. Bye.