[00:00:56] Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 136. How are you doing? I hope that you’re doing well. And if you are new here, you stumbled upon this podcast. I want to welcome you. Thank you for tuning in. And if you’ve been tuning in with Lee for a while now, since maybe the very beginning, welcome back, super happy that you’re here and today’s topic is all about where do I begin?

[00:01:20] And I get this question a lot. Like where do I begin? How do I begin? And really the question should be, how do I get after it? How do I get this thing done? How do I actually get started? And most of us want to. Um, indulge and not knowing. Where to start whenever. Someone comes to me or even, you know, within my friends or friendships.

[00:01:47] Even my coworkers are like, well, I don’t know where to begin. You know, there’s always this confusion that our brain wants to take a SU. And that’s all we’re talking about today. We want to be able to [00:02:00] really identify why we’re feeling confused, why we’re feeling as if we do not know where to go find the answers because we do. And I mean, during this age we have.

[00:02:09] You too. We have social media, we have so many things and options out there that we can seek an order to get an answer. But for some reason, we are still indulging in. Confusion and possibly even Because for some reason, we think that someone has to give us a step-by-step. And for the most part. He begins because we are possibly scared, scared of that. We are going to do this alone, or maybe scared that we’re not going to be fully committed. We’re not going to follow through. We’re not going.

[00:02:45] Um, to actually get it done. So then that doubt comes up. And maybe sometimes even like, self-pity like, I’ve done this before and it just never works. And we just go into this spiral of. I [00:03:00] don’t know handle, we just stay there. And we And so then when we come back to what we want to do, so it could be either it was in wait, transitioning out of the military.

[00:03:11] I’m starting a new, um, in a relationship. How many, we even starting a family, starting a new position. Do we anything that is different that you’ve been wanting to do? You’re like, okay, it’s just better. If I am safe over here. And don’t even have to consider all of these things that come up for me to include doubt, confusion.

[00:03:33] That way it’s just so much easier, right? You were like, no, no need to do that. Let’s just focus on doing what is really working for us. At this moment, but here’s the thing most of the time, it’s not working for us. Right? So like, if you want to start a relationship, you’re like, okay, I enjoy being single.

[00:03:49] I love being single. I don’t have to worry about anything else, but then there’s this part of you that you’re like, no, actually want to be in a relationship. I actually want to go out there and. Explore and find that one person [00:04:00] that I can. Um, you know, maybe start a new journey, new chapter in my life.

[00:04:07] But because we don’t want to do the word core, we are scared of again. Finding the one, we overcomplicate things. We overthink things and. You all, I am actually an overthinker and that’s something that I’m still working on. It still takes me a while to make decisions sometimes as much as. You know, I, I know what my brain is doing. I know exactly why.

[00:04:31] I take my time on doing certain Because I overthink. And when we overthink, we overcomplicate the things that are very simple already, but because our brain is trying to protect us, we’re in fear for me, it’s more of the fear of failing the fear of Um, actually getting it to the result that I want, but here’s the thing.

[00:04:53] Any progress. Any type of progress that you make. Is always helping you build [00:05:00] that skill of.

[00:05:02] Following through for that milestone for that. Uh, progress that you’ve made. And so it could be dating. It could be losing weight. It could be transitioning out of the military, right? Maybe. You’re like, okay. I have no idea. Where to be in. Uh, yes, you do. You know exactly where to begin? You submit

[00:05:23] If you’re retiring. If you are transitioning, you submit a packet. You’re like, this is it. I’m going to do this. And after you begin to make it official, right? Or you can begin in different in a different way. You can begin by going over your finances. Going over, what are the possibilities out there going, you know, having that conversation with your significant other, if you are in a serious relationship, if you are married,

[00:05:47] So you do know where to begin. We just over complicated again in our heads because we go all the way to the end result. And we’re like, oh, but. It just doesn’t seem that simple. Right. Or we don’t want to do the work. Like I said, [00:06:00] And here’s the thing. Most of the time too, we don’t want to do the work. And I’ll be one to admit that that was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to do my coaching at first. I was like, no, I’m not going to go, you know, marketing and.

[00:06:16] You know, starting this thing, um, email marketing and all of these things that I’m going to have to do to reach clients and, and help them. Like, it’s just, it’s just too much. I’m just going to work for a coaching company and. Coach people there because I didn’t want to do the work. But he was a thing. There was this other part of me that really wanted to not only.

[00:06:39] Do the work, but also help other military. Uh, service members. Because when I first started, I was hoping men and women. And so for me, it wasn’t. The actual work that I didn’t want to get done. It was really just the exposure I was. Over-complicating everything. [00:07:00] I was overthinking. I was fearful of not following through when I did get the clients. And not that I didn’t want to do the work. I just didn’t want to do the work that actually required me to put myself out there. If that makes sense.

[00:07:14] So maybe the same thing for you, right? Like I’m using this transitioning. Example. You’re like, no, I don’t want to transition. I don’t mind doing the work. I don’t mind submitting my packet. I don’t mind. You know, doing my transition within my current role, finding another job. But will you possibly don’t want to do is put yourself out there, put yourself out there in

[00:07:33] That’s the work that you don’t look forward to in the same thing with a relationship. Right. You’re like, I don’t want to get vulnerable and put myself out there. And, you know, maybe it not work out. And so that’s what we’ll want to look for. What, so we want to be careful in when we’re like, we don’t know where to start.

[00:07:50] And so today I’m gonna give you a couple of tips on one. You know, why. Your brain is taking you there on. Okay. I don’t know where to begin. And then you just don’t [00:08:00] This is the reason why you’re postponing it. You’re overthinking it. You’re scared. You’re not gonna follow through and you don’t want to do the work. That’s going to create these negative emotions as exposure.

[00:08:09] Formability. Um, you don’t want to feel. As if you are. Going to get, um, discouraged. Right? You, you fear those negative emotions, so you’re like not going to do it. So those are like the three main reasons why. You. I think that you do not know where to begin. But it’s because your brain is just trying to protect

[00:08:34] So again, you’re either overthinking it over, complicating it to your skin. You’re not going to follow through with it. In three. You don’t want to do the work because of the negative emotion that it might create. So the exposure to the vulnerability, the disappointment to discouragement, whatever that may be for you.

[00:08:53] That’s one of the reasons. And honestly, ultimately that. So instead. [00:09:00] Now you want to consider now that you’re like, okay, I know what my brain is doing now. You want to consider. How do I begin to get after it? How do I start today to get this thing? You know, just going and, you know, stop procrastinating on whatever.

[00:09:15] The thing may be. So if it’s stating transitioning, If it’s starting a new role, starting a new position. If it’s, you know, starting this dance class. He fits even. Just doing something new, Getting your master’s degree or starting a whole nother career, whatever that may look like for you. Starting a family.

[00:09:39] Maybe even, you know, Getting into the word. And building your faith. Whatever that might look Whatever the goal may be. Whatever the thing that you’ve been postponing procrastinating on. Pick one thing. This week and commit to doing it for at least 30 days. Whatever that may be. So may it be [00:10:00] dating?

[00:10:00] It may be. Um, transitioning, just considering. The transition out of the military. Towing it for at least 30 days. And this is what I want to challenge you. To do for the next 30 days. Is to one fully commit and that’s really the emotion that at least for me helps me. Um, personally, Begin to. Want to do certain things. That’s the feeling for me, for you may be excited for you may be empowered.

[00:10:36] You could want to fill it. Uh, disciplined. You may want to just be willing, right. Something as simple as that, it could be any emotion. You don’t, it doesn’t have to be motivated. Okay. Like you don’t have to be motivated. To do certain things like you can get that out of your vocabulary. Out of your imagination of you need to be motivated all the time. No, you just need.

[00:10:58] An emotion. That’s going [00:11:00] to begin to feel you feel you F U E L feel you. If I can speak today. That is going to feel fuel. You. Into the action that you need, because remember our thoughts, create our feelings are feelings, drive our actions and our actions create our results. That’s just the truth.

[00:11:19] And so now what is it that you need to be feeling right? For me, it’s commitment. I need to be 100% in. And when I told myself and I’m 100% in, I’m going to call in no matter what, no matter how many times I fall, no matter how many times. Or how long it’s going to take me. I’m all in. Kind of like this podcast, I’m all in, no matter

[00:11:39] Now. Here is where it gets tricky. Most of the time. There will P. Things that come up in life, right? Like life is going to happen no matter what things are going to happen. We’re all human. We are never in control of any circumstances. So circumstances are going to happen. But here is where I [00:12:00] want you to, or when I want to offer you is to be fully.

[00:12:06] Focused on that emotion that you, that you pick again for my, for me, it’s

[00:12:13] And for me, commitment is going all in no matter what, no matter what obstacle, no matter what challenge I have to overcome. And so with that being said, We know that there are going to be challenges because that is one of the reasons why you haven’t started, you know, that there’s this huge challenge, or maybe it’s a small minuscule obstacle.

[00:12:34] That you’re like, I really just don’t want to confront that. I really don’t want that to be something that I have to go through. ’cause I just don’t feel ready or I just don’t think I can overcome

[00:12:45] In, in a, in a space where I’m at now. And that’s completely okay. But here’s what I want offer you. There’s always something that’s. Between you and that next thing that you need To get to where you want to go. [00:13:00]

[00:13:00] And you want to be able to see that ahead of And plan for it because it will come up. So if it’s stating per se. Let’s say you’re like, okay, I want to just start dating and get back into. Focusing in a relationship, a serious relationship.

[00:13:23] Then obviously one of the things that, you know, you’d know where to begin is meeting people. Right. Meeting people. Either in person or on social media or on a dating app, which whatever. You decide on. But, you know, there’s going to be obstacles right on. Either platform that you choose. Okay. If you’re meeting people in person, that means that your schedule has to change a little bit, maybe.

[00:13:51] Or you have to be. Disciplined about your schedule. I need to leave work at a certain time. I need to. Be able to do X, Y, Z. [00:14:00] So I do have this a lot of time for dating. On the weekdays on the weekends. I need to do X, Y, Z in order to get that done. Right. So how do you need to feel? You need to feel.

[00:14:10] Maybe empowered, maybe disciplined. Discipline is probably the one that you need. If you’re transitioning and you’re like, okay, I don’t know where to begin. And you’re like, no, wait. Yes, I do. I need to one have this conversation with my significant other or with my husband. With my family. Whatever that may look like. Okay. There’s.

[00:14:28] They’re going to be questioned, right? What’s the obstacle. They’re going to give you all these like, well, what are we going to do financially? Or how is that going to work? Are you sure all these questions are going to come? So how do you prepare for that? That’s going to be your obstacle, right? You having these answers.

[00:14:43] Completed ahead of time. That’s your strategy? And so again, you want to be able to identify the obstacles, the challenges that you have. And create a strategy ahead of time. And again, this is the work that you need to do. [00:15:00] Before. You start your 30 Now, I’m not saying you have to do this, you know, for every single obstacle, but at least have some obstacles that, you know, are very.

[00:15:13] Visible that are going to come up. Because you that’s one of the reasons why you’re not. Making this move. One of the reasons why you haven’t started that one If it’s losing weight or getting in shape. Clearly you’re like, okay, well, I don’t want to let go sugar or I don’t want to work on every day.

[00:15:34] Well, then that’s your obstacle? How are you going to create a strategy? To overcome What is it that you need to do? To feel discipline empowered. Clearly you need to start thinking something other than this is not going to work. Or I just love to eat X, Y, Z all the time. Or food is my go-to. You don’t need to hold on to that.

[00:15:57] You can think something different. Okay. I can [00:16:00] create. A different. A meal plan, or I know where I can go and eat healthy, or I know who to call when I need a gym Whatever that may look like

[00:16:11] But you want to be able to create that ahead of time so that when you are not in it, when you’re not on day two and three, when it gets hard, because that’s what really, when it gets hard. The two and three. You know, like, well, you know what. It’s okay. I’m just going to have a donut today, or I’m not going to go to the gym.

[00:16:28] Or I’m not even going to consider going out on this date anymore. I’m just going to decline. Or I won’t have this conversation. With my husband anymore because of something else Or I won’t apply to this school or certification or license because this came up now. So again, you want to be able. To identify one.

[00:16:53] What is it that you want to do that you’ve been postponing? In to. Also [00:17:00] become aware that it’s okay. That your brain wants overthink it once over complicated. Wants to believe that. It won’t follow through. Wants to believe that. The work is really the problem. When in reality, it’s really the negative emotion that you’re avoiding.

[00:17:19] And it’s okay. To know that there will be obstacles because there, there always will be, no matter what you There will be obstacles. There will be challenges. And the goal here is not for you to actually get to the end result. But the goal for you here is to you for you to get started and for you to make some progress.

[00:17:39] And honestly it’s really to build that skill of. Getting after it getting it done. And not really. Holding yourself. Or I’m prolonging this new adventure prolonging this new goal, prolonging this new thing that you want to do. And that, you know, you’ve possibly wanted to do. Forever [00:18:00] or in a long time. And now you just.

[00:18:02] Again, quote, unquote, do not know where to begin. You do know.

[00:18:08] Alright ladies. Well, that’s all that I have today. I hope that this episode not only encourages you, but it really gets you started and it gives you a starting point and a plan. So that you can begin to not only make some progress. But really start identifying what is it exactly. That you’ve been.

[00:18:30] Postponing that you’ve been prolonging procrastinating on and now. You can actually begin. In making progress and moving in the right direction with some consistency. All right. Have a beautiful rest of the week by.