[00:00:55] Wendi: Hello ladies and welcome to episode 194. [00:01:00] I am so happy that you are here. Happy that you either are tuning in with me every single week or that you stumbled upon this podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. I’m excited to be back behind the mic because not only have we had Most Valuable Podcast published, but also we had a podcast guest that joined us during Veterans Day and the week before.

[00:01:23] Wendi: By the way, if you haven’t tuned in, To, um, know what the SWAN Gala is all about, I invite you to go tune in the episodes. It’s a two episode, um, podcast or two part episode podcast. Um, and it starts with episode 191. All you have to do is go to wendiwray.com/191 and you’ll find the first episode there.

[00:01:47] Wendi: And after that. It’ll take you directly to the next episode, which is 192. And when I tell you that these women are not only passionate about servicing [00:02:00] military women, but also empowering, and just building this women community to not only continue to pursue the dreams, but also to continue to build this inclusive community, because what they believe.

[00:02:12] Wendi: They’re willing to do. is that no woman is the same, like everyone has different gifts, different talents and we all show up differently in our own special way. And I just love that they continue to encourage us, encourage us to continue our dreams outside of the military. And you all know that that’s what I stand for.

[00:02:30] Wendi: I strongly believe that we all have a calling, regardless if it’s You know, in the military, outside of the military, but we encourage you to continue to pursue your goals, to continue to pursue that career that you maybe, you know, thought that you had to put to the side, or maybe you did because of the position that you’re in, but maybe now you’re in a time where you can pick that up and start working on it more.

[00:02:56] Wendi: It, even if it’s a day at a time, a week at a time, [00:03:00] an hour a week. And that is what the SWAN is all about. The SWAN Network, the Service Women’s Advanced Network, um, community. And so I invite you to tune in, get to learn more about what these women are not only, um, promoting, but also encouraging other women to do because I, I do believe that they are only passionate about what they’re doing.

[00:03:24] Wendi: in their own careers, but they also want to spread that across the entire military and veteran women community. So I invite you to tune in and I hope that you really not only take a moment to spend time to yourself and really ask yourself, you know, where is it that you want to be in the next couple of months, in the next couple of weeks, in the next year, right?

[00:03:44] Wendi: As we’re closing out this year. Which, by the way, I also want to remind you all, if you haven’t been following me on social media or following the SWAN Gala on social media, we are going to have a virtual, um, SWAN event on [00:04:00] December 9th, and that will be at 6 p. m. Eastern Standard Time. So, if you are not following the SWAN Gala, I, Encourage you to go follow them on social media preferably Instagram.

[00:04:11] Wendi: That’s their main channel And so all you have to do is go to the search bar in in search for SWAN s w a n gala g a l a Official and you will find us there all the details will be there on Not only the topics that we’ll be, um, focusing on, which by the way, I’ll be doing a quick 20 minute training, which is going to be not only, um, great for you to start taking action then and there, but also to have, to have it for, you know, the beginning of the year, if that’s something that you’re planning on doing or depending on where you’re at in your life.

[00:04:46] Wendi: But I’m just so happy that I’m able to be a part of that community and not only share what I’ve learned, but also share My actual, um, process and also like what I’m going through in this exact moment, because [00:05:00] that’s exactly what I’ll be sharing. I’ll be sharing kind of like what I’ve been struggling with, not only with the podcast, with coaching, but also how I’ve managed to be able to be consistent and be able to still put content out there, even when I’m not feeling my best self, even when it’s hard, even when the time is not right.

[00:05:20] Wendi: So many challenges and obstacles and I’m just so happy to share that with you all because again In this world, in this time, we don’t share a lot of our challenges. We mainly want to hear about all the successes and all the, you know, butterflies and rainbows and unicorns flying everywhere. But the reality is that not everything is going to be easy.

[00:05:40] Wendi: It’s never going to be just the way we plan it. And this is why I love to share and encourage all of you all that there’s no one way or one, you know, shoe fits all. It’s really the way that. You are able to still work through and make process through. So [00:06:00] I really hope that you can make it again. If you’re not following me or the SWAN, please do so.

[00:06:05] Wendi: And you can find all the details always in the show notes. All you have to do is scroll wherever you listen to this podcast and you’ll find. All the details there specifically for this episode. It would be wendiwray.com/194. All right, you all let’s get into the podcast. I hope you are ready for today because We are talking about gratitude In a time where it’s very difficult to feel grateful in a time where it’s challenging to even think about Being grateful or having gratitude or even feeling gratitude because you all, it’s hard.

[00:06:41] Wendi: Life is hard. We have tough moments. We have moments that we didn’t expect. We have moments that are just challenging either as an individual, as a woman, as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a daughter. Um, and, and it’s just difficult all over the place and, you know, I don’t want to, you know, act as [00:07:00] if my life is perfect because I’m a life coach or because I think that I have it all together.

[00:07:05] Wendi: I, that’s sometimes what I think, that it’s all together, but then God shows me really quickly that it’s… Not the truth. And he’s always in control. And so that’s why today I want to share that it’s difficult to be grateful when you’re struggling, when there are challenges. And so I want to invite you today to take a moment.

[00:07:28] Wendi: To just lean into gratitude, especially this week as we are going into Thanksgiving and then just taking a moment to spend time with family, taking a moment to just take a breather and be grateful for where we are. And I know it’s hard because some of you may be struggling, maybe going through a relationship breakup or maybe going through, um, just difficult moments, maybe grieving.

[00:07:51] Wendi: Maybe you are far away from home, right? Maybe you’re deployed, maybe you’re in another country. Maybe you’re in a whole nother area mentally [00:08:00] within, you know, your household. And so I want to offer to you today that regardless of where you’re at, there’s always an opportunity to lean in and drop into gratitude.

[00:08:11] Wendi: And the reason I want to bring this up is because literally it’s what has going every single day, no matter of where I am in life, no matter what’s going on. It really just keeps me grounded on not only my faith, but also appreciation of what is happening at the time, all the good stuff, because it’s so easy, especially with our brains, with our minds that it’s, it’s always looking to, um, be ready.

[00:08:41] Wendi: For danger, right? So when danger comes, our mind wants to be ready and wants to be in defense mode because that’s just the way our minds are wired. We want to protect ourselves as much as possible. And so when we are already struggling, there’s a challenge, something happens in our life, something changes [00:09:00] out of the ordinary or out of our plans.

[00:09:03] Wendi: Our minds want to immediately be able to, you know, go into like panic mode. And so when that happens, it typically, what our brains want to do is either start looking at the things that are all going wrong, all the things that are going wrong, that are not going right. And so when that happens, it takes us away from looking at what’s working, what’s going well.

[00:09:30] Wendi: What is actually, you know, happening in our lives and for the most part it would be our health, right? Like we kind of forget that we are given another day of good health and everything else will will work its way out or it’ll work on its own when You know, we are not trying to control everything, but we sometimes forget that, um, when, again, when we are going through [00:10:00] a lot of challenge or chaos in our mind or just chaos where we’re at in that moment.

[00:10:05] Wendi: And so today I’m going to offer you to take a moment and just one breathe to really ask yourself, you know, what is it exactly that you are being troubled with? What’s challenging in this moment? So it could be, you know, your relationship, it could be your career. Maybe you lost your position or your job or you’re out of the military and you have no idea what you’re doing.

[00:10:31] Wendi: Maybe you feel as if. Nothing is going your way. Maybe you’re struggling financially. Maybe you’re in a position where you have to make a hard decision and now you’re like, okay, well What is it that I need to do to not only get me to the next phase get me to the next step? And sometimes it’s hard because again, we don’t understand or we don’t And I think it’s important for us to just at that moment understand that our mind [00:11:00] is only trying to protect us instead of looking at the big picture, right, looking that, hey, you know, my I’m healthy, my kids are healthy.

[00:11:08] Wendi: Everything else, you know, I can only work with what I can. I can’t control other people. I can’t control my boss. I can’t control my husband. I can’t control my kids. I can’t control the teachers. I can’t control anybody else but myself and my mind. And so when you are able to take a moment to take a breath and pause, And really look outside of your problems, look outside of your challenges, and just take a moment to be grateful for where you are at.

[00:11:38] Wendi: Because here’s the other piece of this. We don’t know that in the next week, in the next month, in the next three years, this challenge that you’re faced with now, that you didn’t plan, that you are going through right now, is actually going to help you in the future. It may be [00:12:00] a stepping stone to the door that is going to open for you in the future.

[00:12:05] Wendi: To the opportunities that you have. outside of your understanding because we don’t always understand God’s plans for us. We’re like, Oh my gosh, why is he closing this door? Why is he having me wait? Why am I going through this? Right? We’re always questioning it or we’re always making it seem as if we’re the only one stuck in this, you know, ugly phase and this challenging.

[00:12:28] Wendi: Um, moment. When the truth is, we’re all going through something. We’re all going through a challenge. We’re all going, you know, through a setback. Through, um, an obstacle that is there. And we’re like, okay, how do we get out of this? And so what really has helped me is really to just, like I said earlier, one, take a deep breath, two, pause for a moment and really ask myself, like, what is it that is actually working for me in this moment?

[00:12:56] Wendi: And for that, it could be as simple as your health, right? Or maybe you’re not [00:13:00] healthy, but others around you are. You have people around you that are there to support you, that are there to help you through this phase, through this moment. Because again, sometimes we forget, you know, when we’re injured or when we’re hurt or when we’re going through an actual health crisis, we forget that there are others around us, that there are people willing and ready to be there with us.

[00:13:22] Wendi: And we sometimes forget because we’re so focused on like what we can’t do at that time. And for the most part, it’s It’s mainly because we’re still trying to pursue this one goal as we always are, right? And so, and it’s okay. Of course we want to get things done and we want to make sure that our family is taken care of and make sure that everything else is going as planned.

[00:13:45] Wendi: But the truth is that in that moment, there is also something, um, keeping you or something in between you and that goal and keeping you from not making progress and keeping you at a [00:14:00] standstill. And it’s hard to trust me. I get it. There’s some things that you’re like, okay, I can’t do, or I can’t make a decision on this because of this one challenge or this one struggle, this one obstacle.

[00:14:11] Wendi: But here’s the good news. The good news is that one, God is always good. He’s always going to bless you No matter what even when we don’t deserve it because I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m like, you know what? I don’t even know why God is being so good to me right now, but I will take it I will own it and I will be grateful And that’s honestly what’s kept me going every single day because one like I said before We all have challenges.

[00:14:35] Wendi: We all have problems. We all have obstacles that come up out of nowhere. And I’m like, oh my gosh, how did I get here? What am I going to do? My brain immediately wants to tackle all the things that it can’t control and wants to go into This is what’s going wrong. This is why everything is going the way it’s going because of xyz Instead of focusing on all the good stuff, instead of focusing on gratitude, on [00:15:00] being grateful in that moment for where you are.

[00:15:02] Wendi: And it’s hard. It’s hard because you don’t want to be where we are. We don’t want to be struggling. We don’t want to be in this challenging moment, but we are there. And so, you know, taking a moment to look at all the good and then the next thing, the third thing is to not fight reality. Because again, it kind of goes hand in hand on focusing on what’s going good.

[00:15:26] Wendi: Because if you don’t focus on what’s going good, you’re going to immediately want to fight reality. And so take a breather, pause, focus on what’s good. Do not fight reality. Focus on where you are in that moment. And the last thing, be grateful and praise God for where you are now and where he’s taking you.

[00:15:48] Wendi: Because I promise you, he’s taking you to a place that you probably would have never gotten if it wasn’t for where you are now. We sometimes have to go through the ugliest, This part phases [00:16:00] of our lives to really take a moment to own not only our emotions, our actions, but also the outcomes that it creates.

[00:16:09] Wendi: And it’s hard. You all. It’s very hard because we’re like, how do we get into this mess? Like how am I in my own mess? But at the same time, it’s better to be in your mess now than in that mess five years from now where it’s compounded or it’s even gotten worse. And so again, I don’t know your situation. I don’t know what challenge you’re going through.

[00:16:29] Wendi: You know what you’re going through. You know your reality. And so I offer you today to take a moment to one, take a deep breath to pause three. Look at all the goodness. Everything that’s going well for you, what God is blessing you with. Your health, you woke up this morning, you are healthy, you have a job, you have food on the table, you have water, your kids have clean water, your family is doing well.

[00:16:57] Wendi: But there’s this one challenge. Are you going to focus [00:17:00] on that one challenge that you’re having, or are you going to focus on all the good? I want to invite you to focus on all the good. Be grateful for where you are. Be grateful for that challenge, that opportunity that you have to look elsewhere other than that, just that one problem.

[00:17:16] Wendi: Look not, not to it, look through that, look above it and take a moment to just be grateful for this opportunity because it’s hard. Trust me, I get it. I’ve had very hard moments this year. As you all know, last year was very hard. This year still has been hard, but here’s the truth. I am still living and I am still given this opportunity, this platform to continue to do what I love to do.

[00:17:45] Wendi: And one of them is this. This platform right here, podcasting. And so for that, I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I have this opportunity to not only speak what I’ve learned, share with you all and encourage you all based on my experiences, [00:18:00] based on what I’ve coached other women like yourselves in either through motherhood, through their career, through, I mean, obviously all of their struggles.

[00:18:10] Wendi: I’ve helped women that And you all, I’m, I’m trying not to like get into tears here, but I am so grateful that I’ve been given the opportunity to help women that have struggled with alcohol, helped women that have struggled as a mother, helped women that have struggled not only with how they see themselves, with their identity, I helped women with their relationships, I helped women with their transition, and I’m just so grateful that God has given me this opportunity, that God has given me this platform to continue to be here.

[00:18:40] Wendi: For other women like yourselves, because the truth is that we don’t get to um, be seen as much as the other um, the other career fields do. We are a very small number of women that [00:19:00] don’t get looked at as much as the other career fields. Military women, oh okay great, glad you serve our country, but here’s the truth.

[00:19:09] Wendi: We are going To continue to empower other women to continue to stand up for military women, other communities, continue to support these other communities that are helping us move forward, because when we do this together, we’re so much better. And so again, I am just so grateful that I have been given this opportunity and I’m just grateful every single day.

[00:19:33] Wendi: I’m just so glad that I I’m here, not only through this podcast, but also, you know, through coaching and just, I’m just so grateful. And there are so many things that I’m grateful for. Not only, you know, again, like I said, my health, my family. Um, and just this career field that I am in, not only, you know, outside of the podcast, I am just so grateful for the people around me, the people that [00:20:00] I’ve met so far, the, the woman that I’ve not only struggled with in the military, like we’ve struggled together, but also, you know, as, as a mom, it’s not easy.

[00:20:11] Wendi: Trust me, I know. It’s, it’s not easy to, to be a mom and have goals. You know, still try to do your best and still try to ensure that you continue your own journey as an individual. So I applaud you and I want to continue to encourage you regardless of where you are now because somebody has to do it. And even if it’s just, you know, someone that’s telling you or you telling someone, it’s also very important that you take a moment and appreciate everything.

[00:20:44] Wendi: Everything that’s not only happened in your life, but also everything that God has blessed you with. All right, ladies, I hope that this episode encourages you and listen, if you’re like, okay, I’m at a place where I’m struggling and I need [00:21:00] some help. I need some accountability and I need someone to help me, to guide me.

[00:21:05] Wendi: Based on where I’m at mentally, where I’m at emotionally, and I need a plan and a strategy, I want to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me, so you can have a plan to get you started and get you going into making progress. So I want to invite you to schedule consult with me. All you have to do is go to wendiwray.com/consult also in the show notes where you and I will spend 45 minutes together going over what limiting beliefs you may be having, what’s probably keeping you stuck and then you’ll not only get a step by step plan of exactly what you need to do.

[00:21:42] Wendi: But you also learned how we can work together. All right, ladies. Well, you have an amazing beautiful rest of the week And happy thanksgiving to you all [00:22:00]