[00:00:00] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode 170. [00:01:00] So today we are celebrating not only the 75th anniversary of the woman’s integration act. But also today when this podcast releases June 14th. It’s also the Army’s birthday. So, I mean, there’s lots of celebrate here and. You know, the reason I wanted to bring this up is because you should feel really honored and celebrated. We’re honoring. You today, thank you for your service. Thank you for, sacrificing not only your time, but also, time with your family but also your commitment.

[00:01:31] Wendi: And I just want to let you know too, that next week on the next episode, episode 171. I will be having guests here from the Syracuse university Institute for veterans and military families, the IVMF program. And I’m sure many of you have heard of this program, if not even better. I want you to stay tuned in for next week.

[00:01:54] Wendi: But when I tell you that these women are so dedicated and committed to not only doing the research [00:02:00] on what challenges women have, but you know, the obstacles that we face every single time, we, you know, pivot in our career, we transition out of the military. Like they have all that information and I cannot wait to share with you all.

[00:02:13] Wendi: Not only, I’m such an amazing interview, but also really the wealth of knowledge that they have about this category. You know, not only have they lived it from their perspective, being dual military. But also, even from their perspective as their, they were transitioning out into entrepreneurship into maybe even an actual, um, corporate position as well. So I’m super excited that you guys will have the opportunity to.

[00:02:38] Wendi: Tune in listen to what they have to say and just so much value that is. Going to be provided within like the 40 minutes that we’re talking or yeah. Somewhere around, around there. But, um, I just wanted to. Um, you know, Kit with you today and just share, um, a little bit about [00:03:00] this desire that we have as women while we’re in the military, or even as we’re getting out of the military.

[00:03:06] Wendi: Or when we’re out of the military, right? We. We get this all the time. And I think that happens more. Obviously we all get the desires of, um, moving. Moving on to bigger goals or just goals in general, right? Like we all our mind just wants and is wired to focus on growth. Focus on growing and then just to focus on creating outcomes, just accomplishing things. It’s a good thing in a bad thing, right. Within its own. Um, but more so a good thing, you know, we want to evolve, we want to grow. This is how we.

[00:03:41] Wendi: You know, get new things to, to happen, right? Like technology, social media, you know, someone had to go outside of the box and really take that step or take that leap. Into what was challenging or maybe not even possible and make it possible. And that’s what I want to talk about today. Just, you know, in preparation [00:04:00] of next week’s episode, you know, on how there are resources already available for us, we know.

[00:04:05] Wendi: But for some reason, we’re still not taking advantage of it. Right. And so. Today. I want you to really take a moment to just explore. What it looks like for you beyond the military. What does life and your career look like beyond the military? And here’s, here’s one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about it today, because this has been brought up in many of my conversations with my clients.

[00:04:29] Wendi: When I coached them, whenever we talk about the buckets or how we’re going to categorize certain things, you know, um, the things that they want to do, is it going to be Ketterer categorized as a life? Event or, or a career event. And. Most of the time I get that it’s only life or only career. And what I like to offer is that it’s, it’s both right. Like you’re going through, you’re going to have to sacrifice some time for, you know, from your [00:05:00] family or sacrifice some time from.

[00:05:03] Wendi: You know, maybe your, your, um, workout regimen, right. In order for you to. Take care of this desire or this goal for your career. Now. We want to our minds want to categorize them in two separate buckets. Right? And, and that’s one of the reasons why I do this with my clients. And I asked them, you know,

[00:05:24] Wendi: You getting a degree or a master’s degree in, in business. That would be considered career. Right. Ultimately our mind are like, yeah. It’s career. But I offer them that yes, that, that is, you know, if that’s where you want to categorize it. Great. But ultimately it’s obviously a part of. Your life, right? Like you’re going to have to sacrifice some time of maybe spending time with the kids because you’re going to be in class or because you’re going to do homework.

[00:05:52] Wendi: But at the same time. So finding that balance of, um, doing those two things, right. And here’s also what I want to make [00:06:00] clear when people talk about, or anyone talks about balance. I don’t, I don’t want you to think that each category is coming to get the. Um, same amount of time because they’re not right. Like I don’t, um, spend seven hours with my kids or eight hours with my kids every single day.

[00:06:19] Wendi: Because I’m working right in there at school. And so it wouldn’t make sense for me to be like, oh yeah, I need to spend now seven or eight hours with my kids because I’ve done that worth of work. And that’s just not how it works. Right? It’s like the meaningful quality time that we want to spend there. And so that’s what I mean about, you know, our, our brains want to immediately separate things, right? Like this is life. And then this is career, which is great. You know, I do it too. We all do it, but I also want you to see it from a lens of.

[00:06:45] Wendi: It all works together, right? Like they both can, they, they are both working together. In a way where we want it now to become one, how do we then put yourself or, you know, using me as an [00:07:00] example, how do I know Wendy with my. You know, family and also continue to focus on my desire for my career.

[00:07:09] Wendi: It may be a degree, right. Or it may be a certification. And my, my business, it could be anything. It could be anything that will fall under your career because I consider my business. My career, I considered this podcast even a career because now I am evolving from just being a podcast co host to maybe now being a speaker. Right.

[00:07:29] Wendi: Uh, speaker worldwide, who knows. But again, that’s something that I eventually want to put in my portfolio of my career. That’s my career. I want to have that in my portfolio. Now not to say that. I also don’t want to have that in, in my portfolio of life. Right. Like I want to be. Also an example of what’s possible.

[00:07:51] Wendi: Within my life. Right? Like I want my daughter and my son and, and my other daughter to be like, okay, This is what mom did. In [00:08:00] her lifetime. And it was a very small part of her career. Now there were things that I have to sacrifice, right? Maybe it was sleep. Maybe it was spending time with my kids. Um, you know, that one day, because it takes, you know, a certain amount of time. I blocked an hour for me to focus on my podcast while I record.

[00:08:16] Wendi: I get everything that. Um, needs to get done within my checklist, upload it, all of that stuff, prepare everything and done in an hour. And so again, That looking at it from that perspective, you know, how do I integrate both? How do I integrate. Where I am now. Where I want to go. In all the areas, right? The areas that I want to focus on, because that’s another thing I think we sometimes forget that there’s this gap that we need to fill.

[00:08:44] Wendi: In every single area of her life. Now one area is probably going to use more than another. Right? So for example, Me as a mom right now is something that I’m using. Um, you know, there’s a larger gap there because I have an [00:09:00] infant. And so if you were to ask me two years ago, it’d be like, no, like my kids, they do everything on their own. They go to school for most of the day.

[00:09:07] Wendi: They know how to shower. They know how to feed themselves. They know how to do. 99% of the things on their own besides driving. But other than that, They’re they they’re pretty, you know, like they they’re, they’re independent. And so I didn’t have to spend too much time. We’re giving them additional attention other than us spending quality time together.

[00:09:29] Wendi: And so now that is different. On my end, right before I could read more books, I could Netflix more. I could go to the gym whenever I wanted, and I could literally leave the house whenever I needed to. Because again, I knew that my husband and he still can do that with my daughter now. But I prefer to take on.

[00:09:47] Wendi: This, um, responsibility and. Dedication to be there for my daughter primarily. And so again, right. We all want to be able to focus on these buckets. [00:10:00] Separately. But understanding that we’re, it’s one, it’s one journey. And that’s what I want to offer you today, because most of the time we get so overwhelmed just with thinking that we have to spend so much time.

[00:10:16] Wendi: On this one thing we call career. And we could be doing it simultaneously, right. Even with your work, like that’s your career, that’s your career. Even if it’s a job, even if it’s just a nine to five job, it’s a part of your career on what you’re going. Now you may be saying Wendy. I’m a cook in the military and it has nothing to do with the business that I want to do. It has something to do with the restaurant or with the cooking industry.

[00:10:39] Wendi: It’s a construction business, right? Let’s just say that’s what it is. I’m just kind of thinking of something that it’s not relatable at all. But here’s the thing, the skills that you are kidding, the skills that you are working on a day to day, every single day. You are going to use those skills in that career field.

[00:10:57] Wendi: And so I want you to look at no matter what you’re [00:11:00] doing now. What focus you have in your education or in your certifications, skills-based you are going to eventually evolve into that new career that you’re planning or that you are aspiring to get into. And the same thing could be for if you’re, you know, a infantry officer or an infantry man.

[00:11:24] Wendi: And you’re going to go have a business and I don’t know, technology, let’s just say a startup, everything that you’re learning right now, everything that you’re learning as an infantry man, or as an infantry officer, you are going to apply those skills. In that business as an entrepreneur. And so again, I want to offer that no matter where you are, if you’re like, Hey, I’m a private or I’m a specialist, or I’m a captain or.

[00:11:51] Wendi: You know, I am, you know, just so far into this career that, you know, I have to start all over in another career. I want to offer you that that’s not [00:12:00] necessarily the truth. I want to offer that today, regardless of where you are. Like I said, you could be 15 years in the army. You could be five months in the army or in any other branch.

[00:12:10] Wendi: And if you want to go do something completely out of the ordinary, start a business, invest in real estate, whatever it is you need to do. You don’t need to separate it as, oh, that’s a whole separate career. It’s still your career path. It’s the recruiter journey. But you’re just adding to it, right? Like you are still that one individual that’s gathering all that experience, all those skills that you are, um, acquiring to help you build on to that continued career. Right. And just to take the example of myself, right? Like I was in an HR officer,

[00:12:47] Wendi: And I did a lot of HR stuff for the military and even the pay benefits and, you know, got with legal a little bit, and then a little bit of projects here and there did technology with the whole gear system. [00:13:00] I literally did a little bit of everything and that’s honestly, what’s helping me, not only so much in my business and my coaching and my podcast, all of this technology stuff that, you know, policies and procedures that I had, um, processes, I should say.

[00:13:14] Wendi: That’s all helping me implement everything in what I’m doing within my program, what I’m doing with my podcast, what I’m doing on my nine to five as a project manager. Again, there’s so many things that we sometimes want to separate. That we, I want to offer you today that yes, there are two separate buckets or separate categories, but you all ultimately want to treat it.

[00:13:37] Wendi: As one. Journey. And you also want to start implementing steps or based on the, on the gaps that you need to fill. One milestone at a time, because this is what happens to when, at least what I’ve noticed when we’re like in the military. Right. Where, and it’s so, so far in. That we’re so focused on what we’re doing. And we’re like, oh, we’re [00:14:00] not getting out until like 20 years from now or 10 years from now. I don’t even think about that. I don’t even think about maybe the next career that I’m going to be, you know, doing.

[00:14:08] Wendi: But when you take a moment and you really ask yourself, okay. What am I really going to be doing? Am I really going to continue in HR know, am I really gonna continue? Um, working for let’s just say, um, I don’t know, a restaurant or something like that. No, whatever it may be that comes to mind for you.

[00:14:24] Wendi: Do I want to pursue this coaching for me? It was. Yes. And I honestly, in 2016 is when I made up my mind. I’m like, I’m going to be a coach when I get out of the military. And I said life, coach. And I just had no idea what I was getting into. And this was in 2016 a year before I was getting out. I’m like, I need to do more research on coaches.

[00:14:43] Wendi: I need to really start understanding what that means, what they do, what certifications I need to start learning all of that stuff. And I did. And thankfully I found a great certification process. I found all the right people in my right coach. I mean, I just, everything just worked. Why did it [00:15:00] work? Because I did it ahead of time.

[00:15:02] Wendi: I planned ahead of time. And at the time, I didn’t know that this was all a part of the process, right? A part of my career journey. But for me, it was just a, an experience that I knew I needed to take on. And so if it wasn’t or if it weren’t for that, I honestly don’t know if I would have ever done my certification and then got into coaching. And, you know, thankfully the, the job that I had immediately after the military was in recruiting and in consulting and it was just.

[00:15:30] Wendi: The best opportunity ever. And again, I know God was behind that because. The opportunity was pretty much given to me. Like it was offered to me. At a conference. And I was in shock because I did not know what remote work was. I’m like, what do you mean I’m going to work remotely? What does that even mean? Right? This is in 2006, 17.

[00:15:50] Wendi: And so yeah, like it, it was just. Something that I knew. Um, maybe it wasn’t gonna help me right away with my career. My ultimate [00:16:00] goal of. Being a life coach. But if for sure it was a huge stepping stone into pushing me. And encouraging me to be the life coach that I want it to be. And so I want to ask you today, what is it?

[00:16:14] Wendi: That you don’t maybe. You know, um, separating from, you know, your, your, your life as, as a whole in your career now. Like, are you doing it now with the job that you have? Right. If you’re like, okay, I’m in HR. Person, but I want to go. Teach at this university, like, are you. Completely. You know, separating the two. And if you are, I want to offer you today too, to not do that and really hone in on, okay. What, what skills am I using?

[00:16:45] Wendi: That are serving me that are helping me on this trajectory of becoming a professor or, you know, a teacher, whatever it may be. What else can I do in my current career to help me for it, to be a stepping stone into my ultimate. [00:17:00] Desire of becoming a professor. You know, how do I make this a stepping stone into helping me move into that desire? Right.

[00:17:08] Wendi: Maybe you want to start a nonprofit? Maybe you just want to stay at home. We are a stay-at-home mom, that’s a full job within itself, right? Like what can you do now to help you get there? How can you focus on where you are? And use that to your advantage, to help you with your career goals, right. With your, um,

[00:17:29] Wendi: Your ultimate career goal in the future. How can you use that now? Or how can you focus on that now and use it now so that it can help you and, you know, for you to start implementing steps to help you get there? Because you don’t have to be fully transitioned out of the military to start. You can literally start now and then understanding that your career is your life, right. Like you are. And I don’t mean that in a way of like you, you know, worshiping and idolizing your, your career. But what I’m saying [00:18:00] here is that you, you.

[00:18:02] Wendi: As a human. Art a pretty you’re pretty much. The one with that career, right? Like you are. You don’t want to separate it so far apart that you’re like, okay, well, no, that’s just, you know, my career now. And I’ll worry about my other career. I’ll pivot later. Like, no, you can start now. You can literally begin. to get into your ultimate career. That you want that? Desire that you have for maybe that, that business, right? Maybe you can start now. Maybe you can start in this moment. And we were like, okay, I want to be a fitness trainer. But I can’t do it until I get out of the military. That’s not true. You can start now.

[00:18:49] Wendi: You can maybe start for free now and say, Hey. I want to offer to 10 people this free program. And then eventually grow from there, right? Like you [00:19:00] want to be able to do that? You don’t have to separate it from where you are now or even your life. Right? Like you are more than able to start now so that when you are ready to get out or when you already.

[00:19:11] Wendi: You know, take that leap into the career that you want. You’re ready. And you start now. And so again, the reason I wanted to bring this up today is because. We don’t take the time to think beyond the military or beyond the crew that you’re in now. We’re like living in autopilot and we’re like, yeah, we’re going to work. We’re doing this. And we’re so stressed out through work. And there’s so much to do that. We forget about our, our actual true desires are actual.

[00:19:40] Wendi: Um, Kohl’s. In a confident accomplishments that we want to have. You know, in the next year or two. And, and that’s really. The reason why. I am so passionate about. Talking about. More than just. Your time in the [00:20:00] service more than just your nine to five, right? Like I want you to think further out. I want you to be able to think beyond that and really say, okay, in the next year, where do I want to be?

[00:20:11] Wendi: Even if it’s a military, do I want to be promoted? Do I want to, you know, be in another duty station. What can I do now? Because here’s another thing. And I know, kind of finish with some. You know, with, with where I’m going here.

[00:20:27] Wendi: When I was coaching. Um, this was like maybe two years ago, one of my clients and it wasn’t about career. It was, um, I think it was about her marriage. And one of the things that came up. Was, well, I really can’t focus on that now. I don’t want to focus on. Um, you know, having my own business. Because I still have three years left in the military.

[00:20:53] Wendi: And I want to fully be dedicated to the military. Like, I want to be fully committed. And I’m like, okay, [00:21:00] great. But why do you think that you can’t focus on your career while you’re in the military or on your business while you’re in the military? And she was like, well, because I still have time that I have to serve.

[00:21:12] Wendi: And I’m like, yep. Why can’t you use the time that you’re serving that you are committed fully committed to the military? To still take some time. And use the military career. Use your career now to help you.

[00:21:30] Wendi: To help you. Uh, as a stepping stone to your business, right? Like how can you use this opportunity to at least three years to help you prepare for that business? How can you use that now? And that’s when a lot of things started happening in her brain and she’s like, well, you know what? This is an opportunity for me to not only, um, be my own boss for this position, because she was literally, I’m not going to [00:22:00] be in command or anything of like that, of that sort.

[00:22:02] Wendi: But she was gonna have so much time to, um, be the, um, the leader of her own or the one that could determine, you know, What to do have her own autonomy with time. And so I’m like, yeah. Why don’t you use that time to practice? On how you would do your business. And so again, you know, we created a plan on how that was going to work out and how she was going to fully focus from nine to five on the military, because she had so much there, like so much opportunity. She was gonna be fully busy.

[00:22:38] Wendi: But at the same time, she was going to find time to focus on her business and how she will then. Start implementing things that she knows about the business now and how she could continue to evolve from there. And so that’s what I want to offer you today. I want you to really start integrating both your life and your career.

[00:22:58] Wendi: Into your journey because it’s really [00:23:00] one. Yes, we can separate it. We can categorize it. But at the end of the day, it’s you, that’s living your life. While you’re building on your career while you’re achieving those career milestones that you are planning or that you’re expecting. And so, again, Taking a moment today.

[00:23:18] Wendi: Even if that’s all you get out of this today is just taking a moment. To take a deep breath. Take a deep breath cause you have a lot going on so many hats. And also to start thinking beyond the military or beyond where you are in your career now. Or maybe you’re in school. I want you to start thinking beyond, and how can you use where you are in your life and your career to help you as a stepping stone?

[00:23:43] Wendi: For their future desire or career goal desire that you have. All right, ladies, I hope that you tune in to next week’s episode. So that you can not only continue to, um, build on your career, but also find that foundation and [00:24:00] find that first. Um, place where you can begin on resources and you know how to begin because yes, the transition is hard. Yes. It’s going to be difficult when we pivot careers.

[00:24:12] Wendi: But what I want to offer you is that there’s so many. Door’s out there that are ready to open and so many opportunities just ready for you to, to be there. And what a great opportunity to have. Again, these women com. Um, share with us their, their knowledge, their expertise to the research that they have. And so I really hope that you’re able to tune in next week. And so I really hope that you get so much out of it. And listen, if you are feeling stuck or you’re like, Hey, I need help with this. I need. Additional space. I need more time. I need someone to hold me accountable. Here’s the good news I can help you. And I would love to be your life coach. And so now you’re probably thinking, okay, so how do we begin? Where do I go? And so here’s the first step, for us, working together. All you have to do is go to [00:25:00] wendiwray.com/consult and schedule a free consultation with me.

[00:25:05] Wendi: We will spend 45 minutes together and when you leave this call, you will know the reason why you’re not following through. I will provide you the top three limiting beliefs that you’re having that is keeping you stuck, where you are right now. And here’s the best part. You will leave with a plan, a step-by-step plan of exactly what you need to do moving forward.

[00:25:27] Wendi: And so when you get out of the call, I want you to feel as if you are making progress already because you have a plan. You’re like, I have a starting point I’ve I know where to begin and. I’m off to the races, because again, this is why I do this. Not only to help you in this moment, but also on how we can work together.

[00:25:47] Wendi: And really ultimately help you get to the next milestone? How can I help you be more intentional with your time? And so again, if you’re ready and you’re like, this is something that I need in my life right now. I want to invite [00:26:00] you to schedule this call with me. And I really look forward to meeting you.

[00:26:03] Wendi: All right. I hope that this episode of blessed you and I hope that you, tune in with us next week. All right. talk to you later have a great rest of your week Bye.

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