Family Life

Episode 151: How to balance your energy as a mom, wife and leader.

February 1, 2023

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Hey lady,

In today’s episode, we discuss the importance of balancing our energy and how to do it so we can show up intentionally for our loved ones. 

I hope this episode encourages you to be more intentional with the energy you have available. 

Much love,


Wendi: hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 151. How are you feeling today? My friend, I hope that you’re feeling great. If not, that’s okay, too. And maybe even feeling blessed. I am feeling really blessed. I am so thankful and grateful. For not only my little one and spending so much time with her and spending time with my kids, with my husband.

[00:01:22] Wendi: I am just for ever grateful for this moment. I would not change it for anything, even though there are sleepless nights. And, um, At least not as many, like I used to at the very beginning because of, um, my anxiety and my like, just overthinking. Um, kind of like phases that I was having and just, you know, also at the same time grieving as you guys know I’ve been going or last year, it was really difficult, really tough emotionally, um, mentally as well. And.

[00:01:51] Wendi: Um, I want to say to physically write because I was also pregnant, but. Nonetheless. I just want to share that I am feeling amazing. [00:02:00] I am so ready to like, get back into a routine, which I have had somewhat of a routine. But it’s not the routine that I used to have. And so for me, it’s new and, you know, just adjusting to this new role as having this third baby, um, and even more so, right. Like how do I, not only continue to focus intentionally on her, but also still.

[00:02:25] Wendi: You know, um, be okay with focusing for a certain amount of time without feeling guilty of not being there. You know, when it comes to like my nine to five, when it comes to podcasting, when it comes to my clients, when it comes to just focusing on the future. And I think we, yes, it’s very important that we plan and we take the time to plan for the future, but also most importantly, to really focus on.

[00:02:49] Wendi: What’s in front of you. What is available at that moment? And so again, I just don’t want them to share that real quickly and also kind of, um, go [00:03:00] into really the topic that we’re talking today. Right? Like how do we. Balance our energy as, as a mother, as a wife, as a leader. As, um, a volunteer. How do we balance that energy? Because I’m not talking about time here. I’m talking about our energy because you know, some people are like, oh yeah, I’m a morning person. Or I’m not a morning person , I’m a, a night owl.


[00:03:22] Wendi: And everyone is different. Some of you are probably night owls and some of you are probably early Burks. You want to get stuff done before your family wakes up before you start your day, you want to possibly do things after your family is in bed, right? Because you know that that’s when you are going to focus the most.

[00:03:42] Wendi: But here’s what I want to offer.

[00:03:45] Wendi: It changes also in the season that you’re in, for example, for me, I love to wake up early and I don’t necessarily want to say that I, I love waking up at four in the morning, but. I love that I can get things done before 6:00 AM [00:04:00] before I have to get my kids ready for school. And so for me, it’s been a little difficult now be in the, in the season that I’m in, right? Like I have to be able to still do.

[00:04:11] Wendi: And, and focus when I, um, when I know I need to in the morning and in the afternoon and in the evening and in the middle of the night, And so that’s why I wanted to share with you kind of like how I am balancing, you know, being a wife, being a mom, being the leader, being, um, you know, having my own.

[00:04:31] Wendi: Nine to five and also my own business and how I am not only navigating through this, but also. I’m learning. And so today, this is what it’s all about. How do I. Not only balance the energy that I do have, but also really get creative with it because I think that that’s where we kind of like lose focus. We’re like, okay, I didn’t get it done this morning. So I’m like, I can’t get it done until tomorrow morning or I didn’t get it done tonight.

[00:04:57] Wendi: Now I’m going to stress out tonight [00:05:00] and not have it done by tomorrow morning because I have no energy. And then, you know, you get into this cycle into this like spiral of like, I have no energy and I’m not going to have any energy to do it tomorrow. And so many other things, right? And so today I want to really help you focus on the energy that you do have and when you have it and also to be intentional. So the first thing that I would love to offer you is to one.

[00:05:25] Wendi: Really prioritize and have routine. So by that, I mean, Prioritizing the things that, you know, need to happen that week. I like to do mine by weeks. My tasks by weeks. As you guys know, I use click up and I love to focus on what I need to get done every single week. And if it doesn’t get done, Let’s say I wanted to get done Tuesday, but it didn’t get done. I know that have a buffer on Wednesday to get it done.

[00:05:49] Wendi: No, I’m not going to beat myself up. I’m not going to be like, oh, when do you just, you know, a terrible mother or a TA terrible project manager, or you’re a terrible coach because it didn’t get done. [00:06:00] It just happened that at that time I didn’t have the energy. To fully focus on it. And this is what I mean.

[00:06:06] Wendi: Most of the time. We want to. Have this perception that we’re going to be able to show up. As our best selves at the end of the day. And by that, I mean, for example, If you come to me, if you get on a call with me early in the morning, I’m going to give you. The best attitude, the best energy, because that is when my energy is at its fullest. And I think it’s also because I drink coffee. And so when I do that, my brain and my, like my entire personality is like, we’re going to get this done.

[00:06:43] Wendi: You know, and go, uh, go get her attitude or get after it attitude. And so in the afternoon, when I have meetings, I have to really be intentional. With how I’m showing up. And that includes like my posture done includes. Um, you know, really what I want to get out of this conversation. I want to be [00:07:00] intentional.

[00:07:00] Wendi: And so in our minds, we have this perception that we have to be like that all day. We have to, especially if you’re in meetings all day, especially if you are. You know, in and out of the office, you know, um, doing like customer service or you are. You know, um, serving other people in, you know, in that way. And so it’s hard, right? It’s hard to, you know, show up full of energy when you’re like, energy is running low, especially like around 3:00 PM in the afternoon. That’s always my peak. Like I’m like, okay,

[00:07:30] Wendi: The kids are home. They’re gonna. I know, start asking me to help them with their homework, or I have a meeting that have to get ready for and on top of that, Now. Um, you know, my husband also probably has a meeting and so there’s so many things going on. Right. So how do I adjust? And how do I then, you know, gather myself and gather my energy that maybe it had from early in the morning that, you know, maybe it didn’t have a meeting or maybe I didn’t have to use it as much.

[00:07:56] Wendi: And so one, I want you to start off, like I said, by prioritizing what you [00:08:00] need to get done. If it’s something that, you know, you need to focus on and you need all of your energy. I want you to really be honest with yourself on when that’s going to get done. If it’s 10:00 PM. Great. If it’s 5:00 AM great.

[00:08:15] Wendi: But you want to be intentional ahead of time. You don’t want to do this the day before or the day of. You want to be able to give yourself plenty of time? Because this is what happens. When we don’t prioritize and we don’t think that, um, you know, you’re going to have to use up the you’re going to need the energy.

[00:08:34] Wendi: That you probably have to use earlier that day or later that day. You start focusing on dreading you start treading this one task. You start dreading. You know, the kids coming home from school, you started treading this meeting that you have at 5:00 PM. You start dreading this conversation or this date that you’re going to have later that evening, whatever it may be.

[00:08:57] Wendi: And not in a negative way, but [00:09:00] in a way of like, how am I going to do it? And I know. I don’t know about y’all, but for me sometimes I really have to take a moment and really. Be intentional with okay. I know I have to put in the work. And that’s number two. You have to be intentional and willing to put in the work. That’s it that’s really what it is.

[00:09:20] Wendi: It’s going to require you to redirect your focus. Because that’s what I do every day. Like I promise you every single day. I do this for when the kids asked me to help them with their homework. Because I’m not good at explaining math. That’s just not my thing. Um, but we’re, we’re working through it.

[00:09:37] Wendi: And the other time was when my baby wakes up in the middle of the night. I want to get exhausted. Sometimes she sleeps three, three hours straight. And sometimes she sleeps four hours straight, which I’m blessed either way. But after mine, myself, I’m only feeding her. And being with her for no more than 30 minutes.

[00:09:54] Wendi: Maybe up to an outward dependence, but right now we’re like at 30 minutes. I’m like, okay. [00:10:00] I need to. Re, um, focus myself real on my values here. My baby heart she’s crying. She wants to eat. She wants me to feed her right away. And at the same time, I’m tired and I’m like, I don’t want to do this. Right. I just want to go back to sleep.

[00:10:16] Wendi: But here’s the thing. I know that this is a part of the process. I know that she is going to cry until she gets fed. So what do I do? I have to. No. That I have to put in the work and obviously that’s my priority at that moment. Right. I know I have to put in the work and by that, I mean, I have to really focus on.

[00:10:35] Wendi: Getting the energy. At that time. ’cause I promise y’all I sometimes feel like I can literally fall asleep as she’s drinking her. Um, her, her milk, her bottle. But. When I really just, you know, one wake myself up and to direct my mind and reminding myself that I have to put in this work. This is what it’s going to require. It’s going to [00:11:00] require me to be intentional with putting in the work. And that is.

[00:11:04] Wendi: Re, um, focusing on the energy that I do have because the energy is there. I just haven’t tapped into it. I haven’t really, um, I haven’t. Been intentional with really getting that out. And so when I started doing that, I’m like, okay, It’s two in the morning. I’m going to get this energy that I do have, because I’ve slept three or four hours.

[00:11:26] Wendi: And I’m going to be with her. I’m going to feed her. I’m going to burp her. I’m going to tuck her in and then I’m going to go back to bed. I’m not going to get on my phone. I’m not going to, you know, worry about what else I have next or what you. You know, what’s going on, I’m going to go right to bed.

[00:11:42] Wendi: Because here’s the other thing, if I don’t, I’m not going to have the energy. Early in the morning again, or maybe even in the afternoon, my battery’s going to be really low. So in a way I’m really focusing myself to put in the work in that moment. So that I can go back to [00:12:00] bed so that I can then move on to the next thing so that I do have energy for the next task or the next event.

[00:12:07] Wendi: And the third thing that I want you to focus on. Is really being intentional with. What you are thinking about. That task. Because we lose energy. When we are constantly dreading something. So for example, I’m going to give you the example of when my home, my kids come home, they start their homework.

[00:12:30] Wendi: Um, well, they do their chores and they start their homework. And so by that time, it’s like three ish. And sometimes I have a meeting at three sometimes. Um, I just, you know, take a quick little break and I just spent some time with my baby, or it’s a time for me to just kind of like, um, give myself that time to reenergize myself.

[00:12:53] Wendi: And the way I do that, it’s, you know, different ways. I get up, walk around. I, you know, think about what I need to get done by [00:13:00] the end of the day. And I really get in my, get after it mentality. But here’s what happens. My kids are struggling with an area, either reading or math. Of course, those are like the top two things that they struggle with.

[00:13:10] Wendi: And so. Here. I am trying to get my energy back. But at the same time, They are needing something for me. I mean something of me. My attention. My energy to help them. Through there through the challenge or the obstacle that they’re facing and how do I help them? Right. So I have to be really intentional with what’s happening in my mind.

[00:13:32] Wendi: And these are like the first thought that are coming up right now at the time. Right now, it’s not a good time. I, I have no idea what you’re doing in school. Um, Go ask your dad. That’s another one. Go. Go read the instructions carefully, you know, do this on your own. Try to figure it out. That’s the meat. That’s immediate, immediate thoughts that come flooding through my brain. I’m like, oh, I need to go change your sister’s diaper or something. You.

[00:13:55] Wendi: You know, something that comes up where wait, hold up, I’m getting ready for a meeting. So many things come up, but [00:14:00] then I really come to this realization that okay. The more I tiptoe around this, the more I am. You know, allowing these cells to take over and not only with my emotions. But also with my energy.

[00:14:17] Wendi: The less energy I will have, and I’m not going to show up for them the way I want to. Because I’ve already given all this great energy. To other people, to my coworkers. To, um, my little one to other people, right. That I’ve engaged with. But when it comes time for. Giving my full attention and energy to my kids that they need me.

[00:14:41] Wendi: I brain is like, Nope, battery, low energy, low. Your, you need to reenergize. Right. Which is a good thing. But this is what I have to say. Okay. Let’s do this, give me five, 10 minutes, whatever the time that I need. Um, Cole, skip that. You know, math problem or reading question. [00:15:00] And I promise I’ll be there in like five, 10 minutes.

[00:15:03] Wendi: So, of course they’re going to hold me accountable because that’s what our kids do. I come back to my office and I’m like, okay, Lord. Give me the energy. Just give me the discipline to stay focused and serve them the way I have served this entire day in a positive way, in a good way. Because if you don’t do that, you’re now giving your family or your kids or your loved ones who am, or whomever. It may be.

[00:15:28] Wendi: Or the people that really are important to you. The least amount of energy and that’s not what we want. I know intentionally we don’t want that. I know. That you don’t want that, but because of the nature of what you’re doing, you know, you may be working full time and you may be going in the house.

[00:15:48] Wendi: Oh in the house. I’m sorry. You might be going in the office. I’m only thinking because I’m, I worked from home. You might be going in the office and you’re tired. You want to come home and all you want to do is just relax on the couch or whatever your routine may be. But [00:16:00] you also have to remember that, especially as a mom, you have little ones, even if they’re teenagers that want your attention, that are requiring a little bit more of your energy.

[00:16:10] Wendi: Then, you know, you thought, um, they were going to, or that you intended for them to use. Um, during that afternoon or late evening or that morning. And it’s the same thing right in the mornings. Like my husband’s not a morning person. Like we all know that. I found that out when you know, we’re dating, but.

[00:16:29] Wendi: You know, my kids already know that dad is not going to be like super excited for Monday. And you know, like what do you guys got going on? And, you know, everything he’s actually. The one that helps me in the afternoon and he’s like, oh, Hey, you guys have old school. Yada, yada, yada. And so we like, that’s like the benefit of like, you know, um, be an opposite, Tim being an introvert and me being an extrovert because we get to balance that, um, really well, but not to say that might.

[00:16:57] Wendi: You know, my kids or my son, um, my daughter doesn’t [00:17:00] want to share anything with him in the morning. That doesn’t mean that, you know, he doesn’t respond or he’s not like, Hey, I’m not a morning person. Right. But we have to really, really, really, really focus on doing the work. On really understanding that.

[00:17:17] Wendi: Our energy is really just. What, um, we really think about it, right? Like for me, I’m of course I’m sold on. In the morning, I can give you my all. I’m going to be the happiest. I’m going to be the most focused attentive, because. Of how my body have I trained my body to work and operate. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t do that in the evening as well, because I have had calls, especially for work. I work for a global company.

[00:17:45] Wendi: That I have to take calls sometimes at 10:00 PM. At 8:00 PM. And you best believe that I’m tired and you best believe that I’m like, okay, can we please get this meeting over with. But I have to be intentional. Hey, I’m only taking this [00:18:00] meeting this one time or this meaning is only once a week, whatever. It may be. Another example. I have a book club, as you guys may know, I have a book club.

[00:18:08] Wendi: Um, with my close friends that invited other friends and, you know, we’ve become a very close. Um, group small group. And we have that meeting at 7:00 PM. I have no other meetings that I willingly volunteer voluntarily do at that time, because I know that I can only handle that once a week. I know that I am not.

[00:18:29] Wendi: My best self. After 7:00 PM every single day. That’s not something that I, that I am excited for. Now, if at 7:00 AM, it’s a whole nother story. I’m showing up with my coffee and I’m ready and you’ll see a smile on my face. Not that you won’t at that time, but what I’m saying here is I have to really be intentional with how I’m showing up with the energy that I do have. And especially now you may be going through a season. Maybe you’re deployed.

[00:18:55] Wendi: Maybe you’re about to deploy. Maybe you go into the field. Maybe you go into JRTC. [00:19:00] Maybe you’re getting ready to be a mom. Maybe you’re getting ready to get married. Or maybe you are now starting this new chapter and you’re volunteering at church in the evening. Whatever it may be or early in the morning, or maybe you’re going to the gym early in the morning and you’re not used to that.

[00:19:18] Wendi: Or late in the evening. Whatever, and we look like for you. But I want to offer you. That regardless of what season you’re in. You have not only the potential, but also the intentionality to be resourceful with the energy that you do have. And here’s another thing, like being grateful that you are able to do the things that you do.

[00:19:40] Wendi: At any given time. Because that’s also the beauty of not only being a veteran. Um, and having this experience in the military. You know, We’re ready to go at any time. If you are you. Uh, part of the global response team. You’re. You’re ready at any given moment. If you [00:20:00] are, you know, in the, you know, medical field, if you’re in the medical unit, if you are.

[00:20:05] Wendi: In any, if you’re a mom. You have to be readily available at any moment, right? You. The attention. Can be there. And so can your energy, and I’m not saying, you know, you’d have to have, you know, full battery all the time. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying here is knowing what you have going on that day.

[00:20:25] Wendi: And prioritizing. Redirecting your mind and understanding that you can be intentional with what you think. You can be intentional with what, what thoughts you’re having about that event, about that situation. And knowing. That? Yes, there are moments that you have more energy than others. But that you also are more than able to one.

[00:20:49] Wendi: Ask God for help or ask anyone for help. But most importantly, asking and seeking God through prayer. That you need his strength. You need him in that moment to help you. [00:21:00] I do this all the time when it comes to my kids, because it’s hard. It’s really hard to, you know, share with them. What, um, what they could be doing right. Or how to go about the situation.

[00:21:15] Wendi: But at the same time, You want to be able to do this, or you want to do this through. Not only cods of wisdom, but also his strength because it’s hard. It’s hard. I know that my baby is supposed to cry and not want to take naps and, you know, wake up in the middle of the night, but I still struggle, you know, we’re human.

[00:21:34] Wendi: We’re we have this like fleshly, uh, desire of, you know, sleeping more. Um, having more energy when we don’t. And so, again, How are you going to balance that energy that you do have already available? Throughout your day. And give that also give that same energy. To your husband. To your [00:22:00] kids. To your team.

[00:22:02] Wendi: Versus just doing it at work or just doing it because you, you feel that, or you think that it’s necessarily Ms. Required. And then when it comes time to go into the family going home. You’re like, okay, well, I’m not going to give you energy. I’m tired. I want to go play with you. I don’t want to do this.

[00:22:19] Wendi: Or you just, you know, You you show that card of like, I have no energy. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. But yet we want to spend time, quality time. With our loved ones. So I offer you this week. And I encourage you. And I also challenge you. To really focus on balancing the energy that you’ve given. Not only as a wife, as a mom.

[00:22:43] Wendi: As a leader. As a coworker, as a friend, as a daughter.

[00:22:50] Wendi: I offer you to. Really show up in a way that you want to show up regardless of the time. That they’re requiring your attention, regardless [00:23:00] of how much energy you think you have. Because I know that.

[00:23:06] Wendi: Sometimes we just need a reminder that you do have the energy. You just need to really tap into it. You really need to. Ask yourself. Is this something that I really want or need to use this energy for? If not, I’m going to save it for the afternoon. When my kids get home that evening. For when I have this meeting at 10:00 PM, whatever it may look like for you.

[00:23:32] Wendi: But when you focus on that, And you again, you prioritize. You redirect your mind in reminding yourself that. You have to put in the work. And also be being intentional with the thoughts that you have about the energy you have at the moment. All right, ladies. I hope that this episode encourages you.

[00:23:54] Wendi: To really. Not only show up as your best self during different times. [00:24:00] Throughout the day throughout the evening, throughout the morning. But also to be more intentional with how you’re showing up for your loved ones all right have a beautiful rest of your week talk to you soon bye