Episode 148: What to do when feeling inconsistent about your goal

January 11, 2023

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Hey lady, 

In today’s episode, I go over consistency and feeling inconsistent with goals and what to do when feeling this way so that you can focus on your results.   

I hope this episode encourages you to stay focused on your desires for this year!  

Much love,



[00:00:56] Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 148. I hope that you’re enjoying the year so far. It’s already the second week of 2023. And I just hope that you’re doing amazing. I hope that you are getting after it, that you are not only doing things with a lot of intention, but also with a lot of love. And today’s topic. I was thinking about you guys regarding what I’ve been asked before, and also what I’ve seen my clients struggle with before, and it always comes up and I’m sure you’ve been thinking about this already because it’s already been brought up and it’s only the second week.

[00:01:36] Of the month of the new year. And so I want you to keep and continue to go and strong on the goal that you’ve set for yourself, or even just this new years resolution with air quotes, as I’m here behind the mic, using them. Um, and I want you to really focus on. This whole idea of [00:02:00] consistency. How do I continue to stay consistent? How do I continue?

[00:02:03] Too consistent with my new routine and with this new habit that I’ve picked up with this new goal that I have. And so today we’re going to be talking about really what it means to be consistent and why we need to focus on really the end result on compounding those results that we want every single day, every single week, every single month, because it is very easy to fall off. And trust me, how do I know? Because I’ve been doing this.

[00:02:30] For the longest I certain things. And then I’m like, okay, halfway, halfway through. Or maybe not even halfway through maybe a quarter random, like, okay. This is not the route that I want to take. Which is completely okay. And I’m here to tell you that it’s completely okay. To not be consistent in every single thing that you say that you’re going to do, or that you think that you want as an outcome, as a result.

[00:02:53] And so I want to start off by one just to finding what consistent, um, [00:03:00] consistency is, because it’s very important for us to understand what that means, right? Like we want to be consistent. Like that’s usually what I get from my clients when they’re like, okay, I’m so sick and tired of like, Not doing the thing that I want to do, like, um, you know, working on every day or eating healthy every day or, you know, feeling a certain way or how I’m showing up with my family and they just want it to be more consistent. And so I always.

[00:03:25] You know, ask them well, when, what does it feel to be consistent? And so, um, most of the time they’re like, uh, they’re like motivated and, um, determined. Those are always like the two top emotions at. Um, comes up for them when they are feeling, um, or when they want to be consistent, but for the most part, right.

[00:03:49] I Al I tell them. That the feeling is that you want to feel. Consistent right. You want to be able to follow through every single time? [00:04:00] Um, or every time that you say that you’re going to get this thing done. Rachel, for example, if you’re like, my goal is to. Um, go to the gym every day for 30 minutes.

[00:04:10] If you’re not going to every day, if you are not doing, um, this one thing that you mentioned or that you want to do. You are then going to feel inconsistent. You’re like, okay, I’m so inconsistent with XYZ. And so you’re going to feel disappointed and discouraged. And so again, understanding what it means and then going from there.

[00:04:31] And then I’ll go and elaborate into what really happens when we’re filling in consistent. Versus wanting to feel. Consistent. Okay. So the, um, definition that I found here on Google is acting or done in the same way over time, especially so as far to be fair, We’re accurate. And it’s also unchanging nature, standard or effect or time.

[00:04:55] So when you’re consistent with something, you’re pretty much doing [00:05:00] that one thing. Over and over again. And overtime. And so when you do that, the results can compound, right? If you are doing it over and over again, especially. Depending on what the cadence may be, right. It could be once a week. It could be one time every day. It could be once a month, whatever that one thing is.

[00:05:22] And so. The, the response that I was give my clients is all one. Why do you want to be consistent? Why is this consistency so important to you? Why. Do you need. To feel like you’re you need to be consistent in this one thing. And so most of the time the response is, oh, because I want to like, actually.

[00:05:44] You know, have this result. I want to lose weight or I want to be able to get this education completed my degree. So I want to be consistent in my study. I want to be consistent in showing up with, you know, [00:06:00] 100%. Um, focus and being prepared. And that’s completely okay. And that is something to aim for. Right? Like we all want to be consistent, but here’s the thing.

[00:06:10] I think that the line of consistency sometimes gets so us when we don’t follow through that one time, or even if it’s a couple of times, Because we’re so focused on just being consistent with that action itself. Versus focusing on the actual outcome results that you’re going to have at the end of that action or tasks that you need to get done in order to get to the result in order to get to that outcome.

[00:06:36] Or to that goal. And so what I always offer. Is to really understand. That. Yes. Consistency is great. It’s amazing. To live by. But at the same time, Do you want to just, um, Tell yourself that you’re consistent, even though you may not be getting the [00:07:00] result. Or are you okay with being consistent most of the time and some of the time.

[00:07:07] Not as consistent, and this is what I mean. So for example, There is a transitioning happening within my life right now. As you guys know, I just had a baby two months ago. And so let me see November. December. Yeah. Almost three months ago. And so for me, it’s very difficult to continue the routine that I had before, because it was, it was a lot easier before I didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed anyone.

[00:07:37] And now I have to be very intentional and cautious of what I plan because I have a baby that requires a lot of my attention. And so before, of course I was consistent with everything that I needed to get done. And there was some things that, you know, I couldn’t get done because of, you know, something coming up, the kids probably were sick or there was just something maybe I wasn’t feeling well, [00:08:00] maybe, you know, my, um, schedule, my husband and my schedule, like conflicted.

[00:08:04] You know, there’s a conflict. Whatever that could have been. It could have been. There was always a time where, okay. Maybe I couldn’t get. Um, you know, to the gym. At four 30 in the morning, whatever it may be. But now it’s even more difficult to align the schedules and also do things that I was able to do. For example, again, going to the gym early in the morning, because my daughter requires my attention early in the morning as well. And I also have two other kiddos. I need to get ready for it for school.

[00:08:33] And I also. Anytime for myself. There’s so many things that I couldn’t get done in that time. And I also need my sleep by also me and my rest, because if I don’t, I become very cranky and my family knows that. To include myself. And so, again, really understanding. What trade-off you want to. Well, what trait of you want to have? I feel like I can’t speak today.

[00:08:56] So bear with me. So, [00:09:00] what is it that you want to be okay with and be consistent with? Versus. Being so focused on this consistency. Um, aspect, right. And so this is what happens when we’re taught only focus on consistency. Like I just want to be consistent. I just want to be consistent and forgetting what the outcome and the result.

[00:09:21] We forget that we are human. And we also forget. That at the end of the day, it’s not about us checking that block. Because here’s, here’s the truth. Our brain loves to check the block. And I think that sometimes that’s what gets misconstrued. Our brains are like, oh my gosh, I cannot wait to check this task. Or.

[00:09:42] You know, cross his task off my list. I did it. You know, Greenlight, checkmark, star, whatever you do. And so then when you don’t do that, your brain’s like, oh my gosh, you’re a failure. You’re so inconsistent. And your brain offers you so many other examples of being consistent, right? And so this [00:10:00] actually happened to me recently.

[00:10:01] I have told myself, um, or I signed up to go to this gym. Um, that’s literally like maybe five minutes away from my house. And I was really excited. I’m like, I’m gonna do it. I’m going to be there every morning at four 30. And I’m going to do my work and I’m gonna come home and I’m going to get back into my routine.

[00:10:20] So it sounded good. It was great. Um, um, my daughter’s sleeping at least five hours a night. I think she’s on the schedule. But then of course, reality hit. She was not completely on the schedule. She still woke up after three hours or after 10 hours. And then at the end of the day, my, um, schedule in, um, my husband’s schedule in the morning.

[00:10:42] It just, wasn’t going to work out for me to go because at the end of the day, I still needed to get my sleep. I’m like, my sleep is definitely. It’s something that I need more than going to the gym early in the morning. I can go to the gym at a later time. But for a minute, I was like, oh my gosh, you’re very [00:11:00] inconsistent with this whole chairman team. So here’s another thing that I figured out. I don’t have to go to the gym to get in shape.

[00:11:08] I don’t have to go to an actual location. At that time. To meet my goal that I have at the end of the month. And I’m like, okay. Great. Thank you for offering. My beautiful brain. This idea. That. I don’t have to do. Or be consistent with this one thing at that time in this exact location. Because I can do it in another way. Right.

[00:11:39] So what I’d like to call. This kind of like way of thinking. That we go into sometimes it’s the all or nothing mentality. And what that pretty much means is that we go into like the. We’re going to go all in. Or we’re just not going to do nothing at all. Right. So you sometimes have options or you, [00:12:00] most of the time have options, but most of the times,

[00:12:03] We want to only decide on one or the other. When you can really just meet yourself in the middle. Right. Because we’re human. We are not perfect. We do not have any perfect schedule. Life is going to happen. Things are not going to align with when we want it to align because of the matter of where you are and what season you are in your life.

[00:12:23] Yeah, of course, going into this gym. You know, six months ago or even 10 months ago. Great idea. You can make it. But now it may be even like five months ago. It was not a great idea because of what my body was going through. Right. The pregnancy and how I was feeling, and warning was not going to be my, the time for me to go. And.

[00:12:45] You know, it, it just did not align. It does not align right now. So my brain wants to do one or two things. Either. You are going to go. And you’re just all, any, you’re going to be tired. You’re going to be exhausted or you’re [00:13:00] just not going to go at all. And you’re not going to figure out any other way to get this result done. And that’s typically what happens right. With our goals and our.

[00:13:08] Um, things that we want to do. It’s whole brain. Also wants to not go through that discomfort. Discomfort in that moment. Right? We’re like, we don’t want to feel disappointed that we can’t go at 4 45 in the morning or four 30 in the morning. And at one point, that’s how I felt. I was like, oh my gosh, how do I cancel? How do I tell them?

[00:13:30] That I am not available at that time. I was like, I can’t do that already, like committed for this whole month. But at the same time, I’m like, listen, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that discomfort and tell them, listen, it’s not going to work out. I cannot go in the morning. But I can go to another time.

[00:13:47] But I just cannot be doing this every single day because it’s not going to work for myself. I’m going to be consistent in going to the gym at four 30 in the morning, but everything else is going to fall off. Maybe inconsistent with getting other things done. Like my [00:14:00] job, like these podcasts episodes.

[00:14:02] Um, my book club sessions, any other volunteer work that I do? It’s just not going to be fulfilled because I am so focused on just being consistent in this one. Area. Of my life and that was just, you know, going to the gym. So what do I do in this case? And so I want you to ask yourself, what do you want to do in this case that you cannot be consistent in this one thing, because we always have that one thing that we want to commit to, or like, it’s, it’s our goal.

[00:14:25] Right? And I like using the example of going to the gym. Let’s just say you’re active duty. And you want to go to the gym? And additional time every day. And you decide to go in at four in the morning and then you’re number five in the morning so that you can get a P team of five 30 in the morning.

[00:14:43] Paul let’s just say your mom. And your life. And now you’re like, okay, when am I going to find this time? It’s going to be early in the morning. But then you also have homework or do you also have other goals that you’re trying to attain? So when you have all these other circumstances, right. And you have to decide. [00:15:00]

[00:15:00] What is it? That I really, truly want to be consistent in full that I’m consistent in versus just focusing on the. Actuality of being consistent. And everything right? Because we want to be consistent. Everything. Of course we do. We’re human. We’re like, yeah. I want to be consistent in working out every day and cooking every day and be in, you know, the best mom every day. But home with my kids every day with a very calm and loving tone of voice.

[00:15:30] With their math homework. Of course, you want to record a podcast every single day, so that you’re prepared. Um, in advance, right? You want to do all these things. But in reality, we can’t be consistent in every single thing. Unless, you know, that there’s going to be something that, um, is just not going to be worth your time. Right? Like for me, it was just not worth my time.

[00:15:55] Going to the gym early in the morning, cause it’s going to mess up my sleep. And I’m [00:16:00] just not a person that will operate. Without at least having three or four hours of sleep consecutively. And so with that, What is it that you’re possibly holding on to that, you know, Could it be shifted or it could be moved around.

[00:16:16] Could be, um, maybe done in a different way. Maybe you don’t have to be physically at the gym. Maybe you just have to turn on. A YouTube channel. And start work, doing a workout from, from your living room or your room. Or maybe you don’t need to, um, take six classes and go to all six classes one semester. Maybe you can break that apart.

[00:16:42] What is it that, that, that goal or that result is that you want to be consistent in banana necessarily every single task that comes into play or that is required for you to get that result? In order for you. [00:17:00] Two. Actually be consistent in that one thing. And I would honestly start to prioritize. What it could be. Right. Do you want me to work still with your family? Do you want to be more consistent?

[00:17:13] And your career and your finances. Which one is it? And here’s the thing you’re going to have to be willing to be uncomfortable. You’re going to have to be willing to fill the discomfort of reminding yourself that you’re human and you can’t do it all at the same time. I know the society of hustle, mentality, and society of like you can do.

[00:17:35] You know, um, all that you want and B team, no sleep like that, right there is not healthy for one. And two. What we don’t want to do is fall into the all or nothing mentality. Right? Just because I’m saying that. You can’t make it to the gym. Five or seven days a week at four 30 in the morning, every day [00:18:00] doesn’t mean that you don’t work out or you don’t focus on your health.

[00:18:04] And that’s exactly what I’m talking about today. So whatever it may be. I’m not saying don’t continue to education or. Don’t continue to focus on all these goals that you have. What I’m saying is don’t get sucked into the all or nothing mentality. You wanting to do it all. And just, you know, if I, if I can’t do it all, then I shouldn’t do anything.

[00:18:24] I want you to meet yourself halfway. I want you to have grace for yourself. I want you to really understand that you are human being. And that we need help. And the only hope that we can get not only mentally, emotionally. Spiritually physically. It sort of prayer is through building the relationship with God, right? Like I.

[00:18:45] Have to pray almost every day to like really. Um, get this like new renewal of my mind because of one sometimes. You know, like I said, I get woken up like two hours until my sleep. [00:19:00] Or I just sometimes don’t know why my daughter is crying and she also crying. And so I’m like, Lord, please help me. I want to be consistent.

[00:19:09] And you know, her tummy time, I want to be consistent. In really being there for my family, primarily. That’s my priority. I want to be consistent with my podcast. I want to be consistent. In the future with my future clients. I want to be consistent with my finances. I want to be consistent with my career. And so how do I do that? How do I continue?

[00:19:33] To not get sucked in, into this all or nothing mentality. And the answer to that is to just focus on the results, to focus on that delayed gratification on the long term goal and the outcome. Not to be focused on these little tasks that you’re trying to check off or cross off because our minds are going to tell us.

[00:19:53] That we’re not being consistent because we didn’t. You know, read the Bible this morning. Or read a verse. By the way you have all [00:20:00] day. If you didn’t read a verse today, It’s okay. Find some grace. Ask God to forgive you. If that’s what you need. And I’m pretty sure it, God’s not like, well, you didn’t read a verse today.

[00:20:11] He didn’t, you know, make five minutes for me because you were out there working 16 hours a day. By the way you have a family, right? Like God knows our hearts. God knows what’s going on. So if you been in the field or here, we’re working all day, And all these things happen. Of course. You know, you could not get to a burst today, but you may get to it tomorrow.

[00:20:35] Or you may double down for the next couple of days, because now your, your schedule is wide open. So I want you to focus.

[00:20:44] More so on how you’re going to stay consistent on the result, on your goal, on the outcome and not necessarily. Focusing on the consistency of every single action that will get you there. Because I [00:21:00] promise you. You are not going to be able to do. Every single thing. That. You. Prepare or you plan on doing for yourself?

[00:21:11] You may for a good amount of time. But then some life is going to happen. Something is going to happen. That is going to keep you from. Getting that. Um, task or the tedious task. They, I know you probably don’t even want to do. And then you’re going to judge yourself about it. And then you’re like, okay, I’m not consistent. Here we go again.

[00:21:31] And then your brain is going to offer you all these reasons why you’re not being consistent in. You know why you’re not even worthy of going in attaining this goal. It’s all going to offer you today. To take a moment and not focus so much on the consistency itself. But on how you’re going to get to that call, even when.

[00:21:51] You have days that you’re not consistent because we all have them. All right, ladies, I hope that this episode blessed you and that you continue to focus on [00:22:00] that goal because. Ladies it’s only the second week of the month. And there’s so much to get done. But if you take it one day at a time and you take it one goal at a time, you will get there.

[00:22:13] All right, have a beautiful rest of the week. Bye.