[00:00:56] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 132. I hope you’re doing well. Hope you’re feeling blessed. I’ve been. Filling all the emotions this last couple of weeks, I’ve been taken time off to really just process as much as I can. Emotionally, mentally. Um, and if you’re tuning in. And you’re brand new to this podcast. I want to welcome you. And if you’ve been tuning in with me and hanging out with me and.

[00:01:28] Wendi: Um, really following this podcast. I also want to say thank you and welcome to another episode. And you’ve probably noticed that I had not released an episode on Monday.

[00:01:39] Wendi: And that’s kind of what I want to talk about today. Um, not only talking about grace, but really allowing myself to let go of some of the things that I know I can’t. Handle at the moment or at least, or not at the very top of my priority list. And being fat. This is what I do. This is what I love to talk about and share. And. [00:02:00]

[00:02:00] Wendi: You know, kind of figure out how to not only set time for your family, to your interests or priorities, but also to yourself. And most importantly time with God. This has honestly been a. Hard time for me and my family. Um, if you don’t know. Um, I posted it on social media a couple of weeks back now, and it’s been three weeks.

[00:02:24] Wendi: My little sister. Was diagnosed with leukemia back in February of this year. And. On August 25th, her body was no longer able to continue to fight the fight of leukemia and. Is now.

[00:02:44] Wendi: It, she is now resting and having, and. We are here. Just. Taking it day by day. It’s been very, very hard for my family and. Um, You know, me and the rest of us, [00:03:00] and it’s just been. A different time for us. And I just wanted to share that with you all. Um, in a way where. I am really. You know, Not necessarily giving all the details right now, because I’m honestly not mentally or emotionally ready to kind of describe how I’ve been feeling because honestly,

[00:03:24] Wendi: I am still working through that myself. Um, but I did want to really. Come on during this time. And.

[00:03:34] Wendi: And just talk briefly about what to expect from the podcast and also. Um, for me as the host. And also to encourage you, um, if at all possible. If you may be going through a hard time as well, um, and know that. We are human and we are not perfect. And God has a plan and God is always with us and he’s always faithful.

[00:03:58] Wendi: And he’s always loving [00:04:00] and that’s what I’m here for today to not only. Express. Um, How I’ve been feeling. Emotionally. Pretty fleet, but also. Again, to talk a little bit about grace. And so with that, Um, I want to start off by saying that I will be releasing only one episode a week. Now I was doing two episodes a week. Again, if you’ve been following me, you’ve been tuning in.

[00:04:29] Wendi: Thank you so much for the support. Um, but because of everything that’s going on and kind of has. Not only, um, come up. But things that I am. Really reflecting on. Has really, you know, taking a little bit of time off from the podcast and, and really just taking care of my family and being with my family and.

[00:04:51] Wendi: I’m also going through grief Being eight months pregnant. And now going into my [00:05:00] ninth month here coming up soon. And again, it hasn’t been a month yet that my little sister passed away. And so it’s been very difficult for me to focus for me to really get into the things that I wanted to keep talking to her about.

[00:05:16] Wendi: And really just exploring on you know, how to cope and how to handle this day by day. Even though I know. It’s probably not going to get easier if not harder. Um, with everything that’s coming up, you know, the baby. Holidays and, you know, not being able to be with my family as much as I want to until after the baby gets here. So.

[00:05:38] Wendi: It had to mention, I’m just feeling I’m feeling tired. I’m. I’m exhausted all the time. And by that, I mean, I just want to sleep. And a part of me thinks that it’s because I’m grieving it. And the other part of me thinks because you know, getting bigger than maybe he’s growing. Um, and so, you know, she’ll be here soon. She’ll be here to the end of October.

[00:05:59] Wendi: She’ll be here [00:06:00] sometime in October. We don’t know when, um, but I am due the end of this October. So. Again, there’s so much going on that I, you know, to really. Pray about. Where I am mentally pray about where. I, you know, want to take control of things and that’s a whole nother episode. But. And the truth is y’all. I cannot handle two episodes a week, even if I forced myself to just because.

[00:06:32] Wendi: Of how I’ve been feeling. Um, again, in a way where I know my body’s like, okay, when you calm down, you need to like really sleep. Um, enough, you really need to just focus on what you can control. You really need to focus Giving yourself, grace. And you really just need to focus on what really truly matters in this moment.

[00:06:53] Wendi: And obviously it’s, you know, my health, my parents’ health. Um, being in for them during this [00:07:00] really hard time Um, And then also, you know, continue to stay in the word, continue to stay. In, in, in, you know, close to God and giving myself time to. Really. Go through these emotions really processed them.

[00:07:18] Wendi: And really be okay with where I’m at and not only that, but also, you know, go to therapy and. You know, that’s something that I. I’m really looking forward to doing this week. So. Again, I just wanted to kind of start off with. Where we’re going with this podcast and eventually, yes, I’ll come back and do two episodes a week. But at this moment,

[00:07:40] Wendi: Or the rest of the year. I am not. Um, Doing any interviews as I had planned. Um, Or anything different of that sort. So more to follow on that, but thank you everyone for your support. Thank you, everyone that has reached out my friends and. [00:08:00] You know, Even podcast listeners. Thank you so much for your comments for your, you know,

[00:08:07] Wendi: Thoughts and prayers. I’m just so grateful and, and really, you know, this is kind of where I. Want to segue into, you know, having grace and given myself grace. And, you know, this is something that maybe you also maybe struggling with, right? With the workload, with a low that you have with early, anything that’s going on in life, you know, your personal.

[00:08:30] Wendi: Family.

[00:08:32] Wendi: And so I wanted to really just kind of go, you know, why it’s so important. To give yourself grace and. You know, for the most part. We don’t do this so well or often because we’re so consumed and too. Everybody else. We want to be the one that wants to help everyone. We want to be the one that continues.

[00:08:57] Wendi: This track record of consistency. We [00:09:00] want to. You know, check this off the list. And that’s kind of like who I am, how I like to get things done. I don’t like to tell people no, um, or at least disappoint them in a way where, you know, I’m not following through. And that’s really kind of where this decision was very difficult for me to do at first, because I’m like, no, I can, I can still release the episode that I’ve recorded, which I did, you

[00:09:25] Wendi: Pre recorded. Before, and, you know, as you all know, I did that in August. I recorded a bunch of episodes. Um, to hopefully, you know, release when I was on maternity leave. And so now it’s gotten to the point where I’m like, that’s completely fine, but I also need more time. To continue to process and they just, everything.

[00:09:47] Wendi: Accordingly. There’s no timeline. There is no. You know, checklist, there is no map. There’s no guide. To kind of help me or help anyone [00:10:00] really, that is going through a grieving process. Regardless of it’s a divorce, a separation. You know, a death in the family. A loved one. Regardless of what it could be. It’s all different and everyone copes differently. And so that’s why I figured, um,

[00:10:16] Wendi: You know, grace is something that I really need to keep focused on and that’s what I’ve been focused on. And I just want to share with you. You know the verse and it really has three verses here, but the main one that. I’ve just been. Kind of like meditating on and just, you know, praying about. Because again, I am that person that just wants to.

[00:10:40] Wendi: Um, Really get the things that I have set myself to do my goals and no matter what, just keep pushing through because I’m strong and I’m healthy. And. You know, all these other things, but the truth is that. You know, I have to let go. When I have to let go and kind of God has been guiding [00:11:00] me and. You know, showing me through people, which by the way,

[00:11:04] Wendi: God is so good. He’s been blessing me with so So many people around me, um, that only like physically like my husband and you know, my kids and, and friends here nearby. Family members by also with. You know, coworkers, my boss. My ex boss, my, I mean, people that are just, you know, Um, that, that I know he has.

[00:11:29] Wendi: Put put in place, put in position to help me through this tough time. Like he has been so faithful to me and given me all of these amazing people, these amazing friends and family Reach out and check on me and I’m just so blessed and I’m just so grateful for his love and everything that he’s given me and continue to provide.

[00:11:54] Wendi: You know, not only through people, but also. Just a moment and. In his, in [00:12:00] his And so I wanted to share a verse that really has been helping me.

[00:12:07] Wendi: Not only throughout this time, but really to kind of help me understand. That he will continue. To provide. I don’t only give me the grace. That he has given me, but also to help me have grace for myself.

[00:12:24] Wendi: And the first time I’m sharing with you here is. Hebrews four 16. And where it says, let us approach. God’s throne of grace with confidence. So that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. And, you know, it’s hard for me sometimes to ask God, to give me grace. It’s hard for me to.

[00:12:48] Wendi: Look at myself in the mirror and say, it’s okay that you can do all of these things right now. It’s okay. For you to ask for help. It’s okay for you to not be a hundred percent. Um, you [00:13:00] filming well, it’s okay for you too. Just be who you are and who you need to be and how you need to grieve because of what you’re going through.

[00:13:11] Wendi: And, you know, my friends, remind me my close friends, remind me that. I can go to him at any time. And even time. And ask him to help Not only to receive his mercy, but also to find grace. To help me during this hard time. And so I want to offer you. You know, to take a moment and go to Hebrews chapter four, verse 16 and.

[00:13:37] Wendi: And meditate on that. Another one. That I have found helpful is one Peter chapter five, verse 10. And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ. After you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong firm instead of fast. I mean. [00:14:00] I tell you like I am.

[00:14:02] Wendi: Literally. By the grace of God, just. Every day, you know, staying focused on. You know, What I need to be doing right, like day by day, because I kind of feel like my brain is. Fall. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I just feel like every day, you know, I’m struggling through. Um, you know, not breaking down all the time, which you know, happened, you know, I’ll break down in the, in, in the shower, in the closet, in the car.

[00:14:34] Wendi: Um, I really anywhere where I just sometimes can’t help it in the store. And so, you know, allowing myself to just. Be in his word and meditate on what he has for me really just makes me stronger. And then the last one is in Ephesians chapter two. Verse eight through nine 40. It is by grace. You have been saved.

[00:14:57] Wendi: Through faith. And this is not from [00:15:00] yourself. Yourselves it is the gift. Of God, not by works so that no one can boast. And again, it just goes to show. How amazing and faithful and good God is because we can’t do this alone. And. We sometimes forget that we have people around us right. To, to help. Yes. We go to the Lord. Yes, we pray. Yes. We have quiet time with him. Yes. We worship him and we praise him.

[00:15:28] Wendi: But at the end of the He has people here that he has set. And given us to help us. And that’s what I mean about giving yourself. The grace that you need sometimes is to literally just ask for help. And that’s something that I am. I don’t want to say stubborn about, but it’s so hard for me to do because.

[00:15:47] Wendi: I want to believe or believe this lie that the enemy keeps giving You know, you still need to do this and you have to do it the way you always And you can’t depend on other people when you know, that’s going to make you look weak, yada yada, [00:16:00] yada. And that’s not true. So I want to offer you today that whatever you’re going through, maybe.

[00:16:08] Wendi: You know, something you just may be tired. Right. You know, you need some time alone. No need. To let go of certain things or, you know, disseminate certain things to others so that you can. You know, B. Be better, not only health wise, but also emotionally and mentally. And I want to offer that to you today. I want to be able to.

[00:16:31] Wendi: Encourage you to let go of whatever you think. Is waiting for you. And instead. You know, pray about it, ask God to help you. To help you let go of that thing to help you be okay with where you are in, you know, maybe the harder, the challenging. And allow yourself to just process whatever emotion or whatever negative emotion it is.

[00:16:54] Wendi: And allow him to help you. And to guide you to people that are going to be there. [00:17:00] To provide that help because we need In this exactly how I’ve been feeling. And I’m like in this. Idea of no, I can do this or I can also do this and I can continue to do everything I was doing. When I know in my heart that I need time, I need time to.

[00:17:19] Wendi: Process more of the sadness process more. Of this. You know, guilt that comes up. I have to process this confusion. I have to process. This, this emptiness after process. The idea that I’m not physically able to help my parents every single moment that I can only do it from where I am at now at a distance, but I’m still able, and I still have people.

[00:17:45] Wendi: And we have family that are willing to help, and that is okay. It doesn’t have to be me all the time because I’m also going through. A lot of different things. And so that’s what I want to offer you today. And. You know, just to. Give you an [00:18:00] update on what to expect from me the next couple of months on, you know, the podcast and kind of what.

[00:18:09] Wendi: Um, I’ll be sharing in the future and there’ll be more, um, Probably on emotions and how everything’s going, but also, you know, how that’s affecting and could affect. Other things as well. All right, ladies. Well, I hope that you’re encouraged and that you help yourself. By giving yourself some grace praying about it, meditating and meditating on the word.

[00:18:37] Wendi: And really staying focused on what really matters. All right. Have a blessed rest of the week.