Episode 126: Don’t want to do the work? Learn what could be distracting you…

August 29, 2022

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Hey lady, 

In today’s episode, I share how to identify what may be distracting you from putting in the work.  

I pray this episode blesses you!

Much love, 


[00:00:56] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 126. Happy Monday. I hope that you are doing amazing. I hope that you are starting off your week strong, and I really hope that this episodes or this episode. Topic really? Helps you not only for today, but this also this week, but also to kind of see where you are with the distractions that are you you’re possibly.

[00:01:24] Wendi: Um, Keeping or allowing. On a, um, on a daily basis, but any time you want to get this one thing done, and you aren’t able to check it off your list because you are. Completely just, um, indulging in this distraction. And again, it’s most likely unintentionally, so I just. Want to talk about this, because again,

[00:01:50] Wendi: Um, the more we know the more aware we are, what we are doing or not doing the better we will get the better we will be at not [00:02:00] only, um, committing to what we want to do, but also safe, focused. So today’s topic is all about. Really understanding why you don’t want to do the work and just allowing yourself to get distracted.

[00:02:14] Wendi: Even when you sometimes know. That you just don’t want to get it done and you’ve just allowed. Yourself too. You know, fall into this, um, distraction that you may have picked up on, or maybe you haven’t picked up on, but still don’t understand why it’s not getting done. So. If you are someone that is like me and that wants to see everything.

[00:02:44] Wendi: Or that wants to, um, really. Um, be this visual person before you get things done because he wanted to be organized or because, you know, that’s the way you like to do things like checking things off. It really also does. Give you that [00:03:00] dopamine hit. Um, effect on you. So it’s one of the reasons why we love, especially if you’re a visual learner. Like I am.

[00:03:07] Wendi: To write things down or having somewhere on a sheet and then check them off because it just literally feels good. When you do check that off, when you do get that done and it motivates you to get other things done. Now if you are not that way. And you’re like, Hey, I just have to do it. And I just have to get it done and then move on to the next thing. That’s also a great thing, right? Like that’s also a great habit to have because now you’re not using that time of.

[00:03:35] Wendi: You know, Um, writing things down or making it pretty. And now they’re using the time to actually get things done. So here’s kind of like where I want us to meet in the middle with this conversation, because I know there are some That are just immediately go getters and you really don’t have to come up with a plan. You don’t have to get fancy.

[00:03:55] Wendi: You’re not a perfectionist and you just get things done. And then there’s the other side of [00:04:00] that. No. We’re well, let me finish up on that. So then you don’t necessarily. Um, keep track of what you’re doing and then you sometimes. Can we focus on, you know, what you didn’t finish versus, you know what you did

[00:04:18] Wendi: And so. So there’s a good and a bad thing, right? Like you a pro and a con, I would say. That you are getting things done, but you are not necessarily. Um, keeping up with what is getting done. And so again, it could be, it can be good and it could, you know, be something that is not beneficial to you in where, you know, you’re seeing progress or whatever.

[00:04:44] Wendi: You know, that may look like for On the other side of that, there’s like this whole perfectionism, right? Like I want everything to be planned really. Well. I want to write it down. I want to have this planner. I want to have this. Agenda. I want to have this, um, checklist. [00:05:00] And you plan it all Lau.

[00:05:02] Wendi: But then you don’t get much done because you’ve taken that time that you had. And you’ve used it into, you know, making it fancy instead of keeping it simple, like the other person. Or, you know, the, the, the way the other person would And so like for me, I am a learning still to really meet myself in the middle.

[00:05:23] Wendi: Because. This is how my mind works. And again, not sure how your mind works, but. I have to organize things in a way where my mind is going to. Um, keep up with it and not forget because if I don’t write things down or I don’t have it somewhere where it’s visible in visual, then I will literally forget.

[00:05:43] Wendi: Um, or maybe remember, and it may be too late or maybe I miss a deadline or maybe. I just completely forgot what I was going to do for that specific. Um, timeframe or that specific date? So for me. A calendar works so [00:06:00] well because I’m able to see it. I’m able to use that calendar to help me with my day, with my planning, with my doing.

[00:06:10] Wendi: With my, um, after evaluating, right? Like evaluating certain things that need to be evaluated. Or things that I need to preplan or plan ahead for if I know it’s coming up in the next 30 days. But if you are the opposite of that, you’re like, well, I just, you know, I’m okay with just having a quick, simple checklist that I just update every single day. And I don’t have to have a certain time to it. I don’t have to have it on a calendar. I really don’t use a calendar. I literally just do it kind of like off the top of my head because my brain can tolerate that.

[00:06:49] Wendi: And so again, there’s nothing wrong which how your brain works or how you just naturally. Do things. But what I do on offer [00:07:00] today. For those of you that are possibly stuck or possibly. Trying to figure out why you’re not motivated to do this one thing. It could be physical. It could be, you know, preparing for a PT test. It could be intellectual. It could be, you know, preparing to pursue this degree or this test or this exam.

[00:07:19] Wendi: Or it could simply just be something that you are wanting to do maybe is, you know, create this budget. Maybe it’s create Getting out of debt plan, whatever that may look like for you. Our relationship. And you’re feeling like, okay, I haven’t made any movement or any progress on this. It may be because, well, no, I know it’s because you’re not when willing to do the work.

[00:07:44] Wendi: You don’t want to do the work. And I think we are looking for this motivation. We’re looking for this thing to help us. Get motivated. And the thing is that 99% of the [00:08:00] time, you don’t need the motivation because the motivation. Yes. It’s a feeling it’s a positive emotion that you could use to fuel to get to that action.

[00:08:10] Wendi: But here’s the thing. It doesn’t have to be motivation. It could be something else. It could be determination. It could be encouragement. And so you’re now focused on this positive emotion, right? Like which one would it be? And I don’t have the answer to that because. What encourages me may not encourage you. What motivates me? We not motivate

[00:08:29] Wendi: What I feel determined about my not be the same thing that you feel determined about as well. So one of the things that I’ve not only covered with how my own personal brain works, but also with the people that I’ve worked with before. Is that the reason that they don’t want to do the work is not necessarily because they don’t know how to do it, or they can’t figure it out, but it’s more so because they are so.

[00:08:54] Wendi: I’m easily distracted. With the things that they have trained their mind [00:09:00] to be distracted on. So for example, One of the, um, things that I Really quickly when I was in this whole lake learning and development. And, you know, wanting to just improve on, you know, different tasks, different habits. I learned really quickly that people.

[00:09:20] Wendi: We’ll try to have different types of routines and. By that. I mean, they are. Going to try every routine that is provided to them. So a routine that works for me does not necessarily mean that that routine works for you. So if I have a morning routine, That does not mean that you should have a morning routine and that’s going to help you get motivated.

[00:09:47] Wendi: Or encouraged or determined. And so what I learned early on is that because somebody wakes up at four in the morning does not necessarily mean that I have to wake up at four in the morning. In order to [00:10:00] run three miles every day. Like that’s. Not that may not work for me. But it may work for that other person.

[00:10:08] Wendi: Um, or, or the opposite, right? Like people that can go to sleep late and stay up May be able to go to the gym at 7:00 PM That’s definitely not going to work for me. I’d rather wake up early in the morning, have that morning routine. And then go to the gym at five in the morning versus 7:00 PM. And so we use this whole like routine that everyone else is using as a distraction to what we could be possibly doing.

[00:10:37] Wendi: During that time instead of like creating this routine. Right. Because I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard a lot of like, okay, You wake up early, which by the way, waking up early, I highly encourage it. If, if you’re a morning person, if you’re not, then I don’t encourage it at all because you’re a night

[00:10:56] Wendi: And so again, if. If we are [00:11:00] constantly all just doing this whole morning routine, you journal, when you do this. Um, before eight o’clock, then there’s a 99% chance. That you’ll do everything else on your list. That’s not necessarily true because maybe from four to eight, you could have done the thing that you needed to get done.

[00:11:18] Wendi: Instead of doing that morning routine. That clearly is not working for you, but you want it to work. And so you’re like constantly distracted on making this Thing work this whole morning routine or lunch routine or whatever it may be for you.

[00:11:36] Wendi: And it’s not working with that. That’s not how your brain works. That’s not how you generate that emotion that helps you fuel you into action. So whatever that may be right. Let’s just say, you’re trying to get to the gym. I’m just going to use it as an example, because it’s the easiest one. That not only everyone is always trying to be disciplined about, but also. [00:12:00]

[00:12:00] Wendi: Because it really just makes sense on the things that we. We get distracted on and don’t pay any attention to, so let’s just say. That your goal is to go to the gym five days a week. And you’ve heard, you know, from somebody that if you go early in the morning, you get out the way it’s going to work out and.

[00:12:22] Wendi: Just, you Going to get to But before you do that, you need a journal and then you need to pray and then you go to the gym and you get out of the way. That may not work for you that may work for me, but it may not work for you. Maybe you’re the person that needs to go during lunchtime, or maybe the person that needs to get that done.

[00:12:41] Wendi: In the evening. But you not wanting to do the work. Doesn’t come. From. The actual, um, motivation that you’re lacking. It’s coming because of the one, the thoughts that you’re having [00:13:00] about that one thing. So you may be thinking that the gym socks, you may be thinking that it’s going to be a waste of time at four in the morning. Cause you’re not gonna, you know, be as strong or whatever.

[00:13:09] Wendi: Energetic, whatever that may look like. Any may be true, right? Maybe you’re not a morning person to go to the gym at four in the morning. Maybe you need to go at 6:00 PM. But You don’t need to feel quote unquote motivated. To get that done. And you also don’t need that distraction or that additional distraction of I have to win the morning as to be, you know, after my morning routine.

[00:13:35] Wendi: I get doesn’t have to be that way. And the other thing that I’ve noticed that. Um, and I used to do this a lot too, by the way. And you know, God is good. He’s helped me and work through me with, you know, the over-planning and overthinking part. We overthink and we over plan. As a distraction. So if, you know, you need [00:14:00] to, again, go to the gym five days a week, you know, you want your you’re sometimes over thinking it by, you know, getting really fancy with, you know, the exact workouts that you’re going to do.

[00:14:11] Wendi: Or you overthink. You know, the, um, The amount of time that you have to be there. You’re like, oh no, I have to be there for an hour. When in reality you could maybe 15 to 20 minutes would be fine. And so you use that you planned that are out for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. And then you do the same thing for the next eight weeks.

[00:14:31] Wendi: So now when it comes time to go to the gym, you’re like, no, I just, I don’t think I’m going to commit. To doing, you know, a hundred burpees and running a mile and lifting weights and all of all the planning and all the time that you’ve invested in this whole over-planning. Has now gone down the drain because.

[00:14:49] Wendi: Someone told you, or you heard from someone that you writing down your workouts on that day? For every single day for the next 12 weeks was going to help you and encourage you and motivate [00:15:00] When it did the complete opposite. When it really just discouraged you. Because of the thoughts that you’re having about it. But again,

[00:15:07] Wendi: You not knowing that this is a distraction for you because what may work for you is something different, right? You may just need to do a day by The night before you don’t have to plan out 12 weeks. Maybe we just need to print out 24 hours ahead of time. Okay. We’ll work on. Am I doing tomorrow? Okay. Here’s a YouTube video. I’m going to do as much as I can, or I’m going to do the first 20 minutes and that’s it. I don’t need to be there for an hour.

[00:15:30] Wendi: I’m not going to be there for, you know, three hours, whatever that looked like But at the end of the day, you want to be able to identify.

[00:15:40] Wendi: If this is something that you’ve been using as a distraction. And if it has been, this is what I’m offering you today to do. To really ask yourself why don’t I want to do the work? Am I waiting on this feeling? Am I waiting on this one thing? To help me create the filling. And if the answer is yes, if [00:16:00] you’re like, okay, I’m not motivated. I don’t feel disciplined enough. I’m not committed. I’m not feeling committed. I’m not feeling encouraged. I’m not feeling determined.

[00:16:07] Wendi: They want to ask yourself, what is it going to take for you to do the work? And the answer is simple. For you to just do the work. You don’t need to plan. You don’t need to plan or over plan. You don’t need any routine. Um, in order for you to do it, you just need to That’s it. It’s that simple. You just need to go out there.

[00:16:28] Wendi: And do what you said you wanted to get done. If you want to go to the gym, just put your alarm on. To whatever time you’re going to go. Commit to that time. And then just do it. You don’t have to plan anything out. You don’t have to create this beautiful planner with stickers and arrows and none of that.

[00:16:48] Wendi: You literally just go straight to the airline. What do I need to do in the actual line? Okay. There’s five things I need to get done in order to get to this thing. Now you don’t have to write them [00:17:00] Again, depending on how your brain works. Go that route for me, I do have to write certain things down.

[00:17:07] Wendi: I don’t have to get all fancy with them, but I do need to set a reminder. I don’t understand an alarm. I do need to set certain things in place. The four, I do something. So what it is, what is it for you? Is it that you’re using, you know, like the over-planning and the overthinking and all these other routines and habitat and trying to build us a distraction.

[00:17:30] Wendi: Or are you just willing to do the work? And if you are willing to do the work. I want to offer you to work backwards on the action part. Because remember our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings

[00:17:43] Wendi: Actions interactions, creator results.

[00:17:47] Wendi: So if you’re working. We’re starting off on the action line. How do you need to feel. Before. You’d start doing this action and it’s very simple. Okay. I need to feel determined. [00:18:00] What do I need to think to for determined? Oh, I just need to get through this one day. I just need to get through this one thing.

[00:18:06] Wendi: One day at a time. And then you If, you know, you’re not a planner, if you know that you don’t like to be tedious with the planning. Don’t waste your time. Don’t do it. If you’re a person that wants to do it day by day, because that works for you. And you’re like, Hey, I have this simple little notebook where I check things off or write it down. And I’m good.

[00:18:26] Wendi: Because I have a brain that can remember. You know, Long-term things great. Unfortunately, my brain is not like If I don’t write things down that I need from the grocery I’m just not going to get it. I can literally walk right past it. And I do this all the time. And I’m not going to grab it because my brain doesn’t work this way. I have to literally text it to myself or add it to my list.

[00:18:49] Wendi: In order for me to remember, or to my cart. That’s another easy thing to do another little hack. That discovered. If it’s something that I can find at target, I literally add it to my target [00:19:00] And when I’m walking in target, I’m like, oh, what’s in my cart. Oh, bodywash I need to go get body wash. And I go straight to the bodywash. Cause it’s not a Wolf.

[00:19:09] Wendi: Because I get so distracted easily and it’s completely okay.

[00:19:13] Wendi: And so for you, what is that? What does that look like? What are you distracting yourself from? Or W what you’re distracting yourself from, because you’re distracting yourself from the work. What are you using to distract yourself from the work from doing the work? It’s just simple. Keep it simple. Do the work, get it done. Keep it moving.

[00:19:32] Wendi: It’s not that difficult, but again, we want to over-complicate. And we want to distract ourselves, continue to distract ourselves because we think we need this whole morning routine evening routine going over. Plan one over think. And it’s just not going to work. If it doesn’t work for you, it just doesn’t

[00:19:49] Wendi: And my work for your husband, for your friend, for your sibling, but it’s not going to work for you. For your coworker, it’s not for you. So that’s what I want to offer you [00:20:00] today. I hope you really take a moment to ask yourself. What is it that I don’t want to do the work on today? And if you’ve been using any of these distractions, you know, over-planning overthinking or just creating these routines that, you know, are not going to work for you. I need you to stop doing that.

[00:20:15] Wendi: And I want you to really ask yourself, what do I need, how do I need to feel in order to get this done? And then how w what thought is going to create this feeling? Very simple. Very simple as I’m just going to take it a day at a time. And not over-complicate things. And I’m going to, you know, feel, determine whatever that may

[00:20:35] Wendi: Or even more so just neutral about whatever you need to do. All right, ladies. I hope that this episode helps you and encourages you or even more Motivates you. To start doing the work that you know, you need to get done. All right. Talk to you soon. Have a great rest of your week. Bye.