[00:00:55] Wendi: Hello ladies and welcome to episode 195. [00:01:00] I am doing something new, as you guys can see, but before I get into today’s episode and kind of like where I’m going with my podcast and, you know, video podcasting, how are you doing today? I hope that you enjoyed your holiday weekend. I am actually still recovering from a cold slash cough that I had, so I apologize in advance.

[00:01:25] Wendi: If I start coughing and if I need to start drinking my coconut water because that may need to happen in order for me to continue to say Um, what I need to say and share with you today. And so with that, again, I hope you had a great weekend. I hope you were able to rest. You were able to do some shopping or whatever else you got done.

[00:01:48] Wendi: Kudos to you. I actually got a lot of rest, which I did not have planned. I, and I’ll talk about that here shortly. Um, but I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful. I am just [00:02:00] so happy of everything that has happened so far, not only this weekend, but throughout the year. Um, of course we all have had challenges or struggles, and I’ve talked about this before in the previous episode, you know, how to continue to push through, um, You know, with gratitude even when we’re struggling and so by the way, if you haven’t listened to the episode I highly recommend that you pause this now and Go to your nearest Podcast preference playlist that you go to either Spotify, Apple Podcasts and it’s episode 194 the one right before this one But I want to say that I’m challenging myself now like this is something that I Wanted to do at the beginning of next year, but as I was thinking Two weeks ago, right?

[00:02:54] Wendi: Not this past weekend, but the weekend before Someone had recommended, [00:03:00] um, at work this great camera, and he’s like you just have to get it if you’re an Apple, um, user. And it’s, you know, it’s within a good budget, um, price point and just check it out because I was thinking about getting I’m going to be doing an actual camera that, um, requires, you know, not only a lot of time, you know, techie stuff, and it costs like about 800, um, for something that was, that you wanted that was good quality, because again, if I’m going to go and get a professional camera or video camera, I want to make sure that I’m getting the best one so that I can not only learn from it, but also obviously the quality, right?

[00:03:40] Wendi: It’s all about quality here. And so… Anywho, got the camera. I was completely sold by what he said. The price was amazing. I think it was like 200 and something Compared to the 800. I’m like, I’m gonna get it now Anywho, got it and I started testing it out, which I think I’m gonna put on my stories I tested out with [00:04:00] my my little baby.

[00:04:01] Wendi: Um, she’s not a baby anymore. She’s one, but she’s still my baby and Love the quality Um, you will also probably notice that, um, maybe you can’t see, but I’m standing up but got me a new standing desk, which I’ll eventually share on my stories, on my Instagram stories. So if you’re not following me on Instagram, you need to go follow me.

[00:04:21] Wendi: It’s at Wendi Wray on Instagram. Very easy to find me, um, or be on the Military Podcast, but Wendi Wray I think is the easiest one. It’s also in the show notes, by the way. And so, anywho, I… I fell in love with the camera and I’m like, I just have to record a podcast. I’m like, why not now? Right. And I was going to record this episode actually right before the holidays, but I was like, no, I’ll just do it after.

[00:04:45] Wendi: I don’t want to, you know, put too much on my plate before the actual Thanksgiving weekend. And so I pushed it and I’m glad that I did, because here’s the thing. I finally got to explore the camera while I was resting, while I [00:05:00] was quote unquote sick. And I wasn’t actually like recording anything, but I was actually reading about it, watching some YouTube videos on how to best use this camera.

[00:05:08] Wendi: And so, anywho, I’m using it now and I’m challenging myself to start using it this year. So, from here on out, the goal is for me to record almost all my episodes. Through video or through video recording, which is very difficult because I am so used to just literally Sitting down on my desk, turning on my mic, not worrying about what the camera looks like, what I’m really wearing, if I’m wearing something that, you know, I would want anyone to see me outside of the house with, or even, you know, to take a moment to drink my water, to take a sip of water.

[00:05:42] Wendi: Like, I don’t want to do that in camera, but if I need to, I will, and it’s completely normal. And so, anywho, all that to say. that expect more videos to come. Now, give me some grace if there’s an episode or two this year that are not on video [00:06:00] because of it just not being on my, on my plans, right? I already have content that I’ve already outlined and all I have to do is sit down and hit record and sometimes it literally only takes me 20 minutes depending on how long my podcast is, but I don’t do a lot of the editing.

[00:06:16] Wendi: when I am only behind the microphone. So my expectation is also really high for when I am in front of, I mean behind the microphone and in front of the camera. So again, give me some grace if I am not producing every episode of this year on camera. And so with that, I, today’s episode, I want to offer you to take a moment and just really ask yourself, You know, are you getting things done even when you’re overwhelmed or are you feeling overwhelmed now?

[00:06:50] Wendi: What does that even look like for you? Because here’s the thing. This is what I’ve noticed not only with myself, with my clients That by the end of the year, typically, [00:07:00] right, like Thanksgiving weekend and all through December, they’re just like, you know what, I’m going to chill, I’m not nowhere near close my goal, or I just have so many things going on that I’m not going to add anything, or I’m not going to continue to stay consistent with, you know, my daily devotional, or even, You know, I’m going to the gym or staying committed or consistent with um, the goals that I set at the very beginning of this quarter or of the year and so Pretty much saying that a lot of us will fall off Right at like after thanksgiving weekend.

[00:07:33] Wendi: We’re like, you know what? We have to shop we have to focus on the next year And we typically want to forget that we are where we are at this current year And so what I want to offer you today If you take anything out of this is to one, focus on one. Are you getting overwhelmed? And if the answer is yes, then you definitely need to listen to this podcast all the way through.[00:08:00]

[00:08:00] Wendi: Because what I want to focus on today is getting things done even when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Because here’s the truth. Here’s the truth. We’re all going to get overwhelmed no matter what season we’re in, no matter what season. is happening in not only like calendar year, but also in their lives. And so I want to offer you to just take a moment and be okay with being overwhelmed.

[00:08:32] Wendi: I know some of you are like, no, Wendi, I don’t need to be overwhelmed. I’m not overwhelmed. I’m never overwhelmed. I just have so many things going on that I don’t have time to be overwhelmed. You’re overwhelmed. If you have a lot going on and there’s It’s very little time because that’s typically what happens, right?

[00:08:46] Wendi: Especially if you’re active duty, like you don’t have much time as much as I have time, you know, the flexibility because one, I work remotely and two, I’m able to do things at a certain, at [00:09:00] a certain time because of the flexibility that I have. And so if I want to work at 10 PM or I want to work at 4 AM or I want to take a break.

[00:09:11] Wendi: At 9 a. m. and go to the gym. I can do that. And so again, being able to continue to get things done even when we’re overwhelmed. Because it doesn’t mean if you’re overwhelmed, stressed out, frustrated, it doesn’t mean that you completely stop what you’re doing. It really just means for you to take a moment to allow that emotion.

[00:09:33] Wendi: That negative emotion, it could be overwhelmed. For me, it’s always overwhelmed. Like it, I get overwhelmed very easily because I like to focus on very minimal things at a time. And so when I see a lot of things, like when I look at my to do list or the different folders or the different tasks that I have to get done, I get overwhelmed.

[00:09:53] Wendi: But then I have to remind myself It’s okay. Not only that I have so many [00:10:00] things that I have to get done, but also it’s okay for me to do one thing at a time. And so if you’re anything like me and you’re like, Oh my gosh, this is a great example. Anytime I walk into Lowe’s, any hardware store, any huge hardware store, I never go into Costco or Sam’s because of this reason.

[00:10:21] Wendi: And I typically never go to Lowe’s or. Any hardware store because of this reason there’s just too many little things So many options, and I cannot I’m a person that will not make a decision because there’s so many things like don’t overwhelm me with too many options and So again, if you walk into the store and you’re like, okay, I need to take a step back then this is definitely for you too because it seems like you are Not able or the bandwidth that your mind has Very similar to mine.

[00:10:54] Wendi: Is not able to… Look at all of that at once because you want to focus on all of it at the [00:11:00] same time. And that’s what happens with my brain. My brain is like, oh my gosh, you have to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G. How do we do all of it in two hours and with all these little things happening simultaneously in your brain?

[00:11:14] Wendi: Oh, by the way, what are we having for dinner? Oh, by the way, you know, I have to make sure that I do this for, you know, my kid’s teacher or whatever the school event that’s happening. Preparation, right? Anything like that. And so it becomes overwhelming, not to mention the work meetings that you have, not to mention the projects that you’re working on, not to mention the holidays are around the corner.

[00:11:36] Wendi: I have no idea what’s happening with my voice right now, but I’m like literally fluctuating, so please excuse me. And again, another bummer of me recording this actual video recording because you can see all of my gestures, you can see everything that I’m saying, and it can kind of get a little overwhelming too, right?

[00:11:53] Wendi: So, again. Just forgive me for that. Um, I promise I’ll get better. But here’s the [00:12:00] thing. There’s so much going on, right? We have online shopping. Some of you are probably like me, we’re still figuring out the pictures. And maybe some of your family members are like mine. My husband hates taking pictures. He hates anything that has to do with him.

[00:12:16] Wendi: Being there for a photography moment or whatever. Um, he just doesn’t like it. My kids are very similar. My son is literally just like my husband and my daughter is in a phase where she’s like, I don’t want to be seen with y’all. So again, like I, I am in a lose lose situation when it comes to pictures and planning and all of this other stuff.

[00:12:36] Wendi: Right. So it’s like, oh my gosh, that within itself, I’m like. What am I going to do? What color? What’s the theme? Outside? Inside? So many options, right? And then we also have like, like I mentioned earlier, school requests. Oh, what are we bringing for, you know, the party? What, you know, make sure the kids are studying and they have a test.

[00:12:53] Wendi: And oh, by the way, I still want to be, you know, in, in relationship with God. I want to read my devotional every [00:13:00] morning. But oh, by the way, I also need to go to the gym. Oh, by the way, I have PT early in the morning or I have this dental appointment that I have in between meetings that I have to get, you know, this tracker, this slide deck updated.

[00:13:12] Wendi: And oh, by the way, there are other things that you do on a regular basis that are going on. There’s laundry. There’s cooking. There’s picking up the kids. I don’t know about y’all, but I pick up my kids. I love picking up my kids, by the way. It’s one of the best moments for me personally. And then you have family, right?

[00:13:29] Wendi: They’re texting you at weird hours. Of the day because they’re in different time zones or you just have like family my type of the family They love to call me in the evening. I don’t know why I never pick up Because i’m always like in bed by like eight That’s just me. Like I love going to bed early.

[00:13:49] Wendi: And so again, there’s so many things that you have to follow up and then you get emails and then you get social media updates, um, Facebook notifications. So you get my drift here, right? So you have all of [00:14:00] this to not only figure out and get done and on top of that you’re adding other things. And so here’s what I want to offer you today.

[00:14:06] Wendi: Here’s kind of like how I get to not only get my mind, Uh, like at ease, but also it, I, it helps me keep going and getting things done one thing at a time. And so what I want to kind of show you here a little bit if in case you haven’t been following me, highly recommend that you go back to episode. I have to figure out the episode number.

[00:14:30] Wendi: I do not remember. It’s like a hundred and something where I talk about the coaching model, which I’ll just. Put it in the show notes, just go to the show notes, WendiWray. com for slash 195. You’ll see the episode that I’m referring to, the coaching model, how to coach yourself with this coaching model. And typically, this is what’s happening.

[00:14:51] Wendi: This, this model is happening in our brain and it’s happening with our actions, our emotions, our actions, and that’s what [00:15:00] creates. The results that we create. So like the procrastinating, the binging on other things that we’re not supposed to, wasting time, right? Like, that’s the results that we create based on this model that is happening.

[00:15:15] Wendi: I mean, continuously in our brain, our emotion, our action, our result, so on and so forth. And so this is what the model looks like. The coaching model that I use with myself to self coach myself and also my clients. And that is a coaching model that has the circumstance, meaning it’s a true, it’s a fact, that’s the circumstance, the situation.

[00:15:34] Wendi: The thought from or the thought that you have about that circumstance, that is what feels You’re, I’m sorry, that’s what creates your emotion. So, if like, let’s say the circumstance is tasks during the holidays, right, it’s just, it’s a fact. We have tasks to do during the holidays. [00:16:00] That is the circumstance.

[00:16:01] Wendi: The thought that I immediately always have with that, when I think about that every single morning, is that there’s so much to do in so little time. And so, when I think that my That thought immediately creates this overwhelm for me. And there’s also other thoughts that compound that emotion even stronger.

[00:16:25] Wendi: So, for example, there’s so much to do in so little time. Oh my gosh, I have to do this by 9am. Oh my gosh, I have a meeting at 10 in the morning and I have to prepare. Yadda, yadda, yadda. So all of that is compounding on the overwhelm and that can create another emotion. But let’s just stay here for a moment, right?

[00:16:42] Wendi: Like, we are… In a moment, we’re feeling overwhelmed. And here’s the thing. I don’t know about you, but this is what happens to me when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I want to escape sometimes that feeling. I’m like, no, no, no. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. No other mom is feeling this way. No other podcaster is feeling [00:17:00] this way.

[00:17:00] Wendi: No other life coach is feeling this way. No other wife is feeling this way. No other daughter of God is feeling this way. But here’s the truth. No, you are, you are not alone. You are not alone. You are probably also feeling the same way. You’re like, oh my gosh. I don’t want to feel this. What’s happening? I’m not normal.

[00:17:15] Wendi: I need to get my life together. But here’s the thing. It’s completely normal. You’re going to feel overwhelmed, and this is why I keep emphasizing that today. You are going to experience some negative emotion. It could be overwhelmed. It could be frustration. It could be, um, I don’t know, tired, exhausted, and it’s okay.

[00:17:35] Wendi: You’re a human with emotions, with feelings, with thoughts that happen that are creating these emotions. And so then what happens, um, what, while you like try to escape as you’re like escaping that emotion, you’re telling yourself that there’s so much to do. You’re like, you know what? Oh my gosh, there is so much to do.

[00:17:53] Wendi: I need to hurry. I need to like, go, go, go. And do, do, do as you’re escaping your emotion. [00:18:00] So you’re like literally doing things. Consciously with that overwhelm heaviness Carrying around and you’re reminding yourself. Oh my gosh, there’s so much to do and you like don’t do things correctly, right? like I always make little simple or like not simple but like things that I shouldn’t have made a mistake on because I’m running away from my overwhelm.

[00:18:25] Wendi: A good example of this is I was trying to get my, um, nephew a gift card and I literally knew exactly, I checked my phone twice because my sister in law was like, yeah, this is what he likes. The two options, PlayStation and Nintendo Switch. Okay, got it. I knew that early in the morning. I go to the store, got it, got my coffee, we’re ready to go.

[00:18:51] Wendi: What happened, because I was literally, that morning I had actually pWrayed, I had, you know, kind of checked the blocks on everything, checked my boxes, but what I [00:19:00] didn’t notice was that I was actually still not fully, or had not fully allowed that overwhelm to sit with me. And be okay with it instead of us running away.

[00:19:10] Wendi: And I was like, you know what? I’m just I need to go go go. I need to go to the store. I need to go do that. I need to get my coffee. I need to come home. I need to get the kids ready. Yada yada. Well, they get themselves ready, but you know, get them to school. I have this meeting. I have this, this, this, and this.

[00:19:22] Wendi: And I didn’t realize that I bought the wrong card. The wrong. Card. After reminding myself like 30 times, well maybe not 30, but 30 times, looked at my phone, confirmed, grabbed an Xbox gift card. I mean, I don’t know what, what was happening within my brain. My brain was like, okay, just grab one and go. Because I was, again, unconsciously doing things.

[00:19:50] Wendi: And so, what happens when we’re doing that, the result of that is that you’re indulging And [00:20:00] one of the overwhelm and you’re indulging in it so much that you don’t realize that you sometimes don’t really get things done the way you wanted it to get done, right? Maybe you don’t do the dishes correctly in the meeting.

[00:20:12] Wendi: You’re like, you know, talking so fast or you’re just not communicating it the way that you wanted because you were just indulging in all the things that you have to get done. And that’s in the back of your mind. And so I want you to pay close attention the next time that you’re looking at your to do list or that you’re simply planning out the next month.

[00:20:39] Wendi: When you’re like, you know what? There’s so much to do. I’m not even going to plan it out. I’m just going to go day by day. And I’m just going to go. I don’t know where I read this, but I think it’s like, if you fail to plan, you fail to plan, then you plan to fail, something like that. Forgive me for not having it completely 100%.

[00:20:58] Wendi: I don’t know who coded it. I’ve [00:21:00] just seen it somewhere. And I’m like, that is that, that is, that is pretty much spot on, right? We sometimes think that we’re wasting time planning or we’re wasting time getting things in place ahead of time. When it only is going to serve us in the long run. It really is.

[00:21:20] Wendi: It’s going to serve you to get your little ducks in order, to get your tasks in order so that you can then effectively get them done. Because what’s going to happen If you only have them in your brain and you don’t have them on a tracker, you don’t have them on a piece of paper, I actually don’t even have paper because I don’t really use paper.

[00:21:42] Wendi: I have everything digital because I need reminders because my brain does not know how to function if it’s not in front of me or being reminded. So again, do you have it? [00:22:00] When are you taking pictures? When are you going to do your online shopping? Do you, have you set some time to only focus on the shopping?

[00:22:13] Wendi: Have you set some time to specifically only focus on your kids and play with them? I am actually… I have to do that with my baby because she’s one and she wants my attention all the time. And I’m like, listen, I can’t play with you all day. I have things to do. Thankfully, my husband is always, you know, there to like play with her and just, you know, be there with her.

[00:22:37] Wendi: But here’s the thing, if I don’t intentionally say in the morning, I am going to spend some time with her, then there’s so many things for me to do and then I never spend time with her. Or if I don’t put my things If it’s in a list, in an order where I, by the way, use ClickUp, then it’s not going to get done because I don’t see it [00:23:00] and it’s not happening.

[00:23:01] Wendi: And another thing, uh, a great thing about having a list is that it gives you this dopamine hit when you actually get it completed. That’s another thing that my brain loves. Everyone, everyone’s brains love dopamine, love getting the dopamine hit. Because it’s very satisfying in that moment. And so again, if this is something that you’re like, listen, I have so much to do Wendi.

[00:23:25] Wendi: I don’t have time. I don’t even, I can’t even imagine getting, you know, sending 10 minutes to outline everything. It’s not going to get done. I’m just going to do it with the flow. Listen, Your brain wants some type of organization and that is what you want it to give in order for you to feel less overwhelmed.

[00:23:45] Wendi: Not to say that you’re not going to feel overwhelmed because I get overwhelmed just looking at the stuff that I need to get done before the end of the year. I’m like, look, okay, I’m going to focus on one thing at a time. And that’s what I want to offer you today. Set some time to one, do your to do [00:24:00] list.

[00:24:00] Wendi: Two, On actually looking at it and making, setting time for each, right? You don’t have to set an actual time for it. I mean, um, time, but as long as you know that it’s gonna take you 20 minutes. So for example, for me, I always block at least 30 minutes to record a podcast. Just to record. The rest of the time is for me to publish it, do the show notes, add it to the blog, add it to you know, any other place that I need to, social media like Pinterest.

[00:24:27] Wendi: And so again, I give myself that time, that window, so I know that that’s the dedicated time that I need and no one else can interrupt me during that time, like right now. And so again, you being able to do that ahead of time is going to save you not only time in the future, But it’s going to continue to create this.

[00:24:44] Wendi: I mean, not create, but, um, to build on this new skill to help you to keep going and be consistent. Because here’s the thing. We all can have goals. We all can, you know, write them down, but if we don’t have a process or we don’t have a [00:25:00] way for us to really Help our brains to see that you don’t need to get overwhelmed by the task because that’s really what’s happening We are allowing ourselves to get overwhelmed by the task because we don’t see it in a orderly way We don’t see it in a way where it’s helpful to for us and allows us to ease up our mind and say it’s okay We’re already gonna take care of it on Wednesday.

[00:25:23] Wendi: Don’t worry about the laundry We’re gonna take care of what we’re gonna take about take care of our laundry on Friday It’s okay. Just keep walking. It’s going to get taken care of. And also, you know, don’t worry about the podcast. We’re going to take care of that on Monday. It’s going to get taken care of.

[00:25:39] Wendi: Don’t worry about, you know, the email that you’re, the teacher has sent out. It’s going to get taken care of on that due date. It’s taken care of. It’s on my calendar. We got it. And that way, now you’re reminding yourself, okay, it’s going to get taken care of. And now you’re feeling more at ease. You’re not as overwhelmed as you were at the beginning.

[00:25:58] Wendi: You’re like, Oh my gosh, I need [00:26:00] to order or go shopping for 20 items for Christmas, whatever it may be. And that’s another thing that I do, right? Like I actually asked my kids to send me a list of what’s on their Christmas list. I don’t just surprise them or anything like that. Send me, you know, 10 items and maybe you’ll get two items and that’s it.

[00:26:18] Wendi: Easy. Done. I mean, we’re done. Done. That’s it. It’s a wrap. And so, again, I want you to take a moment, especially if you’re struggling with this, especially if you’re like, Wendi, I have so much to do. I have a full time job. I have a business. I’m also in real estate. I’m also a mom. I’m also a wife. Yada, yada, yada.

[00:26:40] Wendi: These are all the things that you want to be able to break down and you want to be able to see so that you can remind yourself. That yes, there’s stuff that needs to get done, but I’ve got it taken care of and that’s exactly what I do. I remind myself it’s okay. Or another example before I go here [00:27:00] and let you go.

[00:27:01] Wendi: Anytime we need to go to Lowe’s or any hardware store or any store that I know is going to not only create some anxiety and overwhelm, I remind myself we’re only here for two things. That’s it. It’s like the complete opposite of Target. I literally have to go to that section, that aisle, grab the items, and go.

[00:27:21] Wendi: Or even better yet, order it, pick up, curbside, whatever you need to do. But again, these are the little things that you want to be able to do ahead of time so that you are not getting sucked in to overwhelm and then indulging in it. Because that’s what happens. We indulge and we create This result of procrastination.

[00:27:43] Wendi: Not wanting to do it. Nothing gets done because you’re, it’s all right here. Overwhelming. You’re like, you know what? I’m just gonna take a nap. You know what? I’m just gonna watch this new Netflix episode because that’s a lot better. I don’t want to feel overwhelmed. I want to feel relaxed. What do I want to do?

[00:27:56] Wendi: Watch some Hulu. And that’s exactly what you don’t want to do because [00:28:00] then you’re missing out on opportunities for you to get things done. All right. Well, that’s all that I had for you today. And listen, if you’re like, Wendi. I need help. I have no idea where to begin. I don’t even know what ClickUp is. I don’t know how to use Excel, or I don’t even know how to get these things visually appealing to me and my brain.

[00:28:19] Wendi: I need help. I need some accountability. Listen, you have to go to WendiWray. com forward slash consult so that you can schedule a 45 free 45 minute session with me where you and I are going to break down Every single thing that you want to accomplish or a process really to help you keep moving in the right direction, making progress.

[00:28:44] Wendi: Without having to be completely frustrated and overwhelmed and tired and exhausted, worried, concerned, losing it every day, yelling at your kids. You need to schedule a call with me. All right, ladies, I [00:29:00] hope and I really just pWray that this episode blesses you because if you’re like, hey, if you’re anything like me and I’m like, I need to get into my daily Bible, Study.

[00:29:09] Wendi: You need to get into your daily Bible study. You need to keep pWraying every day. You need to keep doing that. All right. Well, I hope that you have an amazing rest of the week and please hit the like button on this video. If you also like the video, let me know. Write me a review on Apple Podcasts. If this is something that you want to continue to see, you want to continue to hear, I would greatly appreciate it.

[00:29:32] Wendi: All right. Have a beautiful rest of your week. Talk to you soon. Bye.

[00:29:35][00:30:00]