Wendi: [00:00:00] Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for military women determined to focus on life outside of the military. As a woman veteran who once felt lost after leaving the military, I know firsthand the challenges that we face. Hi, my name is Wendi Wray, a woman of God, wife, mom of three, army veteran and career coach, and I’m on a mission to equip and empower women like yourself to excel in life and career with confidence.

Hello ladies and welcome I’m super excited that you’re here today and I hope you’re ready to unlearn. That’s what today’s topic is all about today. We are going to focus on what we need to unlearn because it may be keeping us stressed or even. In anxiety or even stuck. So I want to share with you all this concept of unlearning, because most of the time, all we’re trying to do is learn, which is a good thing.

We’re all about evolving and growing. But I also [00:01:00] want to encourage you to begin to unlearn certain habits or certain thoughts that are keeping you. Stressed overwhelmed, stuck in sometimes even just anxious. And so. Again, being able to do this, and I promise you all you’ll need is about five minutes in order for you to start on learning.

Not only Becoming aware of what you need to learn, but really just implementing these this process on how you can begin to learn certain things that you don’t even think, or don’t even know that you are thinking about. And so for me, I know for the most part, we want to feel better all the time.

We want to grow and evolve and we want to ultimately be well and have a great over well being overall. And so what I want to offer you today is that there may be things that you’re thinking about constantly, that you’re not even aware of, that may be keeping you in this [00:02:00] bubble of feeling stressed or even overwhelmed. And so the first thing I want you to practice is, to be aware. Of the redundant thinking patterns that you’re having. And by that, I mean, things that are not serving you.

Right. So what thoughts are you having that are keeping you in self-doubt. So, for example, maybe you have a thought that you’re not good enough or that you’re not experienced enough or that you’re not educated enough. Or that you don’t have enough value or skill set for whatever the thing may be your career or for your life after the military, whatever it may be for you. So are you constantly. Going back to those thoughts that are coming up over and over for you.

And if that’s the case, that’s what I want you to learn. I want you to start on learning. And by that, I mean, you want to be able to not get sucked into those [00:03:00] thinking patterns because that’s what happens. We get sucked into those thinking patterns. And then when we do, we’re filling out, we’re feeling discouraged, we’re feeling unmotivated and we’re even feeling stuck. And so the next thing that comes with that is. The negative self-talk and they go hand in hand. Because a lot of the times we are able to do this talking negatively about ourselves to ourselves.

We don’t do it to others. We don’t do those or say those things. To others, because we don’t want them to feel bad. We don’t want them to feel terrible about themselves and so we want to be able to not do that to ourselves because it ultimately does not help us. And so we need to unlearn to do that.

And how do we do that? We literally have to remind ourselves that that is the other part of our brain that is trying to keep us safe and is trying to keep us from taking action from. Doing other things. [00:04:00] Or maybe even going out there and trying new things. Because again, that’s what we don’t want to feel.

We don’t want to feel that negative emotion. If it’s scary, right? We’re like we don’t want to get out of the military and be completely scared. And you know, just surprise of all the things that could happen. While we’re figuring it out or while, you know, maybe. You know, financially, right.

It could affect us or even emotionally, right. We don’t want to open that door. And so we want to learn to put the negative self-talk away. And instead of we want to face what’s in front of us, we want to be able to face. What’s really happening real time. So for example, if we’re saying. You know, nasty things about ourselves or things that are not serving us, you know, what is right in front of me.

Okay. I do have this skill. I do have the education needed for this one thing. Or I do know the [00:05:00] steps to get me to the next phase of this goal or this milestone, whatever. And maybe for you. And then my, the, my favorite one, the one that is constantly. Nagging at us is that there’s a lot more to do. And in order for us to feel better, we need to get more done or we need to be able to get after it. More. The more things we have to do the better. And so if we can unlearn. To think that the more we do, the more valuable we’ll be, or the more of a great mother over green, white for a great soldier. Great officer great leader, whatever your situation may be. The better we’ll be with. What we have going on already, and we’ll be more intentional with what we are doing now. So instead of focusing on. What else can I do? Focused on all these other opportunities that I could be doing or could be having. Instead of [00:06:00] focusing on what you do have at hand in that moment what’s in front of you?

What can you be more intentional about what is in front of you? How can you serve more in where you’re at versus still thinking of the other things that you could possibly do in. And what typically happens when you start learning these thoughts that are keeping you stuck, there could be overwhelmed or keeping you anxious. You learn to focus on the thoughts that are going to help you, you know, how am I now capable of doing this one thing? The skills that I have.

How is that going to help me towards the goal that I have? The positive talk now that I’m having. How can I use that to my advantage? So now that fast, we’ll give you the results. That you’re looking for. I’ll keep you taking action in a way where you are serving first is feeling like you’re not enough from a place of scarcity that you need to do more. In order to be more [00:07:00] valuable be more worthy. So if this is you and you’re like, I’m the one that’s constantly having these redundant, negative thinking patterns.

And instead of hiding, I want to face them and I want to be aware of them. Then I want you to try this out. I want you to start asking yourself, am I doing this? And if I am, I need to start unlearning by being more aware. All right, ladies.

I hope that this episode blessed you and that you’re able to take action now, by being aware of what you’re thinking, how you’re going to use, what you’ve learned here to unlearn those thoughts that are keeping you stuck and keeping you from showing up for who you are have a beautiful rest of your week.

Talk to you soon. Bye

Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged you or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military sister. All right. Talk to you soon. Bye