Emotional Health

Episode 209. Embrace new beginnings AND FREE coaching for military women

March 6, 2024

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In this episode, I dive deep into the notion of starting over and the profound impact it can have. I share how each new chapter brings an opportunity to approach things differently, to evolve, and to find fresh perspectives on familiar paths. Embracing change is not always easy, but it is essential for personal growth and transformation.

As a coach, I extend an invitation to five remarkable women ready to embark on a six-week journey of growth and empowerment. This opportunity is designed for those committed to their personal development and eager to step into their fullest potential. If you’re ready to embrace change, set goals, and be supported on your path to growth, I invite you to join me in this transformative experience.
Join me here>>> https://wendiwray.com/group

[00:00:00] Wendi: Hey sis, welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, where faith led military women overcome burnout and create more balance. Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith, family, and have more fun while still serving as a woman leader. In this podcast, you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman, organize your mind, overcome overwhelm, and create a prioritization playbook and a balanced blueprint for integrating faith, family, and career.

[00:00:28] Wendi: Yeses in that order. Hi, I’m Wendi Wray woman of God, wife, mama of two, army veteran, and certified life coach. And I’m here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military, a life of laughter, joy, and intentional free time. If you are ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith led military woman, sis, this podcast is for you.

[00:00:50] Wendi: So loosen up your laces and grab your coffee because it’s time to step into freedom and peace.

[00:00:55] Wendi: Hello lady. And welcome to episode 209. I am so happy that [00:01:00] you’re here today. I’m super excited to be here with you behind the mic and to share with you my personal struggles and personal journey, and also share with you what’s coming up for the podcast and also for beyond the military coaching.

[00:01:14] Wendi: And I’m just really happy to share this with you and hopes. That you are encouraged and that you are okay with starting over, because that’s truly how I feel. And every area of my life, I truly feel like I am starting over. I feel this year is all about a new beginning. A new way to do things and a new way to do some of the same things.

[00:01:39] Wendi: And that’s what I’ll be sharing about today. And in truly, it’s just a way for you to, or a way for me to show you that no matter what. Road you’re on what obstacles are coming your way. Life is going to be hard. But remember that when you are [00:02:00] focused and when you’re committed. Everything can change. So by that, I mean the way you show up. The way you begin to start taking action and also creating different results. And so, again, my hope for you today, if you get anything out of this, anything out of my story, my struggles is that you feel encouraged and determined to go out there and show up. As the skillful talented brave woman that you are, because it’s so important for us to show up in that way, but also to be able to share our gifts, our talents with others in. Ultimately, that’s why we’re here.

[00:02:44] Wendi: Right? Where that piece of the puzzle. That is needed somewhere in the military, outside of the military. As a mom, as a wife. With friends. There is someone today in this moment that is. [00:03:00] Wanting your attention that needs your attention. Not necessarily in a selfish way for them, but they really do need you because you have that something that is going to help them, or is even just going to simply serve them for that moment.

[00:03:14] Wendi: And so I want you to feel encouraged after this and. I know that sometimes we have tough, tough times. Trust me. I know there will be times that we don’t want to show up. There will be times where we’re like, you know what? Forget this. 2024 goal that I had, or I set for myself. It was just even crazy to consider or think that I can get this done.

[00:03:34] Wendi: I want you to just take a moment. And consider that it is possible no matter what you’re going through. And of course, if you need to take a break like I did, if you need to take a step back. And just sit with where you are and how you’re feeling. That is completely. Okay. I want to offer you and give you the permission that sometimes we think we need to do so [00:04:00] it’s okay for you to take a break.

[00:04:01] Wendi: It’s okay for you. To pause where you are too. Reevaluate adjust and be able to take a moment to either pray about it, to meditate on God’s word, and really ask him for help and guidance during this moment. And even just shrank because that’s really what I had to do. But also to be able to give yourself grace. To give yourself compassion for where you are in this moment. And so again, I want you to feel encouraged and I want to bring you along with me.

[00:04:34] Wendi: I really do. I want you to feel determined. And anything that you are going through in this moment. Because you would friend or able to keep moving and to keep moving forward. But sometimes when you let it help, right. We need a little bit of help. And we need some times. A little push. Trust me. I know.

[00:04:58] Wendi: I have felt that way. [00:05:00] I know exactly when you may be feeling. And so with that, I want to kind of start off on why I figured, you know, this is a great opportunity for me to share with you all here on the podcast. Because I have challenged myself on LinkedIn. To post every single day for the next 30 days.

[00:05:17] Wendi: And I started this a week ago I started posting every day. And now I am all in I’m encouraged him determined and I’m fully committed on doing it for the 30 days. And when I first started, I shared my story on why I stopped posting on LinkedIn. And also what to expect for me in the next couple of weeks. And so that’s what I want to do here on the podcast.

[00:05:46] Wendi: But most importantly, to encourage you on where you can go within the next 30 days. And so when this podcast, actually this episode publishes, it will be the first Wednesday of March. And so, we’re still at the [00:06:00] very beginning of the month. And this is the last month of the first quarter.

[00:06:05] Wendi: And so I want to encourage you. To stay focused. To say, focus on what you want to accomplish today this week, this month. This quarter, this year. Because it’s so important for us to focus on where we want to go, but also where we are now in order for us to fill that gap. And really to continue to ask ourselves, are we still committed? To this goal, are we still committed to this journey and that’s what I had to ask myself, because if you guys remember. Back in 2022 hardest time of my life. Lost my little sister, but I also had my baby.

[00:06:50] Wendi: And so. It’s been. I have been in a place where I’ve been. Grieving.

[00:06:59] Wendi: And [00:07:00] also. Happy for my new baby. So it’s been very challenging. Too. Take a moment to grieve, but also to be grateful and appreciative. And just simply feel joyful for where I am now. And where I am as a wife, as a mom. In my career with my podcast, with my coaching. And when I tell you that it was difficult for me to balance those emotions. And maybe not even balance is a good word here, but be able to allow a negative in that positive. Happen at the same time. And like I say here, before I’ve said this before, and I continue to say it.

[00:07:47] Wendi: It’s so important for us to understand. And to be aware of how we’re feeling, because that ultimately determines our actions. And so for me, it took me a moment to really. [00:08:00] Pick myself back up and say, okay, windy. You know what to do. You know exactly the tools that you have available to you. To have it work for you in your way, in a way where it’s going to serve you and other people.

[00:08:17] Wendi: Right? My husband and my kids. People that are work with. And not to mention just how I show up on this podcast, how I show up on different platforms. And so for you. You know, how does this apply to you? Maybe this is, or you’re in a place where you are now starting over, you are maybe about, are about to go into a transition. Maybe you also lost someone. Or maybe you just had a baby and this is your first child.

[00:08:50] Wendi: And you’re like, okay, I’m start. I feel like I’m starting all over. Because I am a mom. In everything that I used to do so easily in, [00:09:00] you know, just be able to do anything at whatever time that you needed to do and just show up. You could, and now you can’t, because now you’re tired. You have probably just sleepless nights. Or maybe even you just don’t have the energy to focus on anything else because you want to only focus on your child and I completely get it.

[00:09:19] Wendi: I kind of felt like that’s where I was a couple months ago. And I’m like, no, I don’t want to focus on anything else other than my child. And my career. That’s all I want to do. I don’t want to focus on and nothing else, no extra activities, no extra anything. And so for you when you’re starting over where you are. Have you considered that maybe you just need to take a break. And take a moment and see where you are with everything that you have going on.

[00:09:48] Wendi: Right. It could be. Being an active in the military. It could be you active in the military and with the new baby and, or you just got married. Or maybe you’re going through separation, maybe [00:10:00] going through a divorce. Maybe you are now dating. You just started dating. Whatever that may be for you. You started a new career.

[00:10:08] Wendi: You maybe just started a new job. You maybe started you’re pivoting your career. Now you’re going into a whole, a whole different program within your studies. Maybe you’re starting a whole new other military occupation, whatever it is for you. I want you to take a moment and really ask yourself. Am I committed. To starting to continue where I’m starting now. And my committing. To continue where I’m starting now. And if the answer is yes. Then great for you because. Today.

[00:10:44] Wendi: I want you to take a moment and recommit, meaning that no matter what you are going to go all in, and I’ve talked about this before in episode 200, at the very beginning of the year episode, 200, you can go to the show notes and find it there as well. [00:11:00] Where it talked about The three mistakes that we make. When beginning a new goal.

[00:11:05] Wendi: And so for you, if you are committing, that means that you’re going online and you’re willing to fail. And that’s exactly what I have to ask myself at the beginning of this year, really the end of last year. Cause I’m like, okay, I really need to decide today and show up. As much as possible as I can in order for me. To not only show up for others, but also be the coach that I want to be be the wife, the mom. That I want to continue to be and show up as. And so for me, I have to ask myself that question. And it was hard because I didn’t answer it right away.

[00:11:49] Wendi: I’ll be completely honest. I’m like, I don’t know. Maybe I should. You know, give myself another quarter. Maybe I should just tone it down a little bit. Which is okay. But then [00:12:00] there was this moment where I listened to one of my episodes. It was a MVP, most valuable podcast episode. And it was towards the end of December. Which I can give you the title here. And it’s episode. 199. How to stay committed. On the goal that you have separate for yourself?

[00:12:23] Wendi: No matter what, I listened to that and I don’t like listening to my episodes in the car. Just because I just feel like it’s weird for me to listen to my own episode. I sometimes will listen to it from my phone on, in my office, but I didn’t do it in the car. And so that day it happened that I was listening to a podcast. And then mine was right after. And I just started.

[00:12:44] Wendi: I’m like, you know what, I’m going to listen to it. And I, I think that I just needed that extra push for that moment. And so I listened to the podcast. And I was like, you know what, I’m going to go online. Like, I. I literally just felt encouraged. And I felt determined. [00:13:00] That one. It was okay for me to start all over.

[00:13:05] Wendi: And so that’s where I want you to start. It’s okay for you to start all over. And so if you’re committed in your own lane and you’re like, you know what, I’m going for it. I’m willing to move forward from where I’m at. Then I want you to begin there. The answer is yes. Then you need to be okay with where you are. In order to get to the next phase. And this is why. For me, it was first very difficult to even say it out loud that I was going to continue to coach that I was going to continue to. Build my program. That I had built back in 2021. And really go all in with it. It was very difficult at first. But because there were so many changes. So many things happening, not only through [00:14:00] social media, but also where we are today in this world.

[00:14:05] Wendi: In 2024, I was a little nervous. And the reason why I was a little nervous was because I immediately went to what are they going to think? Of me because I took a break, but then again, through prayer and just the holy spirit working. I was like, wait a minute. I need to take a moment. And really asked myself why I want to do this.

[00:14:33] Wendi: Am I doing it because I want to prove something or am I doing it? Because I really want to serve military woman. I really want to serve women veterans. And the answer is yes. I want to continue to serve. In any way that I can. That I actually can with the bandwidth that I have, meaning with the time that I have. And I want to give back in a way where [00:15:00] more women are doing things outside of the military. Than ever before more women are brave enough to do the thing that they want to do, even while they’re in the service or while they’re in a different career. And that’s what I want to continue to encourage women to do. So if you’re someone that you’re like, you know what?

[00:15:21] Wendi: I always wanted to start this hobby. I wanted to start this degree. I want this certification or this license. But I just don’t have the time or I’m exhausted or I’m too old. I’ve heard that before, too. It’s you know, that time has passed. No, it has not, you are still able to do it. If you truly want to commit. And dedicate your time to it. One lady actually just mentioned it to me on Instagram. But she wanted to start dancing that she just wants to sign up for class and dance and I’m like, okay, then just do it.

[00:15:58] Wendi: She’s like, I don’t have time. No, you do have [00:16:00] time. You just don’t want to. I go out there and embarrass yourself, or even consider that you could. Do great. And I think that for most of us, that’s what happens. We’re like, no, that’s not for me. I don’t think I could Excel in that or who do I think I am to continue to do that.

[00:16:18] Wendi: I am 40 years old. I shouldn’t be out there taking new classes. I’m too old to learn whatever that may look like for you. For me, it’s like, oh, well I have too much going on. And I already took like a two year break. So maybe I should just sit down somewhere. And the answer is no. I know that in my heart. I will continue to podcast. But at the same time, I also know when my heart, that in order for me to continue to podcast and do this, I need to be able to continue to serve. Women. Through coaching.

[00:16:53] Wendi: That is the only way I can continue to sit behind this mic, stand behind this [00:17:00] mic and share with you the tools that are working. And the impact that coaching has on our mental and emotional health. And that’s why I also wanted to share this because if it wasn’t for God and his word and coaching, I promise you, I would not be. Where I am right now in a way where I am conscious and aware. And I am not blaming life.

[00:17:28] Wendi: I’m not blaming the circumstance. I’m not blaming someone else. I’m taking full responsibility of how I’m feeling. I’m taking full responsibility of where I am in this moment. Because if it wasn’t for that, I would be resentful. I would be really upset and angry in a way where I can understand what’s happening in my mind. This is how I’m feeling, because I’m thinking this about this situation. I can’t blame my kids because I don’t have time.

[00:17:58] Wendi: I can’t blame my [00:18:00] career. I can’t blame my husband. I can’t blame. Everything that’s happening to me right now because I’m aware of what is happening in my head.

[00:18:12] Wendi: And so again, I want to encourage you to start where you are. Be okay with starting on over. Also be open to how coaching can make an impact in your life. And for that reason

[00:18:27] Wendi: I want to invite five women that are going to commit to their growth. Five women that are ready to take their life or their career to the next level. Coaching will not only help you see where you’re struggling mentally and emotionally, but will also help you begin to take action.

[00:18:49] Wendi: It will also help you begin to see the results that you’ve been wanting to create. And if you think that this is for you. If you fall under that category of [00:19:00] being committed to starting all over, regardless of where you are. I committed to your growth. In your life or career and you are willing to be coached by me. This will begin the week of April 1st, all the way through the week of May 6th, six weeks, you have to be committed to six weeks. Of work. Six weeks. Of accountability, six weeks of growth. And so all you have to do, if you’re like, this is for me, I’m interested in, I want to be able to grow then this is for you.

[00:19:37] Wendi: All you have to do is go to wendiwray.com/group there’s going to be a form. Put your information on there. And that form is going to help me understand where you are and understand if we’re a good match for us to work together. So, again, this is only for five women and I’m sharing this on my Facebook group first.

[00:19:59] Wendi: [00:20:00] So if you’re not on there, I want you to come join us. And so again, if you’re someone that is feeling stuck, you’re like, I have no idea. Where I’m going to go with my military career.

[00:20:11] Wendi: I have no idea. What I’m going to do with my transition. I have no idea. How I’m going to do things because I’m so unorganized. I don’t have a routine. I’m always procrastinating. I feel exhausted. I’m burnt out in. This is for you. I want you to come join me and other women that are committed. Like you are. For the next six weeks so that you can start seeing yourself grow and ultimately this is a goal. Emotional wealth. And listen. If you’re like, I’m ready to start now.

[00:20:47] Wendi: I want to go all in. I want you to go there right now, wendiwray.com/group so that you can get signed up and listen, if you know, someone that [00:21:00] could use this episode to feel empowered and encouraged. I want you to share this episode with them. Because here’s the thing. I want more women to keep showing up for who they are, because there have so much value to offer.

[00:21:17] Wendi: How do we continue to grow? If we are not setting or spending any time in doing so and having accountability with someone else. So again, if you get anything out of this episode, I want you to feel encouraged and determined. To start all over. And that’s what I want to challenge you with today. I want you to go out there and show up as confident as possible.

[00:21:42] Wendi: I want you to go out there and show up in a way where starting all over. Is a great thing. Because when I tell you starting all over as a mom, it’s tough. It’s really tough. Especially after eight years. I struggled the first [00:22:00] couple of months, but now it’s getting better and I’m so grateful and so blessed. To be able to have this little one, show me once again, all the things I need to improve in all the beautiful things that come with being a mom.

[00:22:12] Wendi: I’m in love with her. I’m in love with my kids. I’m in love with my husband. I’m in love with my job. I’m in love with this podcast. I’m in love with everything that I’m doing. Because I am 100% in and starting all over. I’m okay with it being a new I’m okay. With falling every now and then not having it 100%. Perfect. And that’s exactly what I want to offer you today. It’s okay. If you’re starting all over as a mom, if you have that gap, like I did. It’s okay. If you’re starting a new career. Listen, it’s the most beautiful thing to start a career. I did it seven years ago and I would never, ever do it any in a different way. And I feel like I’m doing it now, right.

[00:22:54] Wendi: With coaching with this podcast. I would not change one thing because it’s such a beautiful [00:23:00] place to be when you have an open mind and you’re willing to take the risk , because I know that I’m going to show up. As myself. It’s okay.

[00:23:10] Wendi: If you’re starting a new relationship. It’s okay. If you’re starting a new hobby, regardless of what age you are, it’s completely. Okay. I want you to be okay with starting over and being okay to fall along the way to fail along the way, because it will happen. Trust me, it will happen. Me taking a two year gap with LinkedIn. Was not the best thing, but guess why it’s completely okay. I am going to continue. To not only build my community, my network, but I will continue to connect with other humans. That I need to connect with. To help them to guide them, to empower them.

[00:23:51] Wendi: That’s what it’s all about in my hopes for you is to do the same thing, connect with people that are going to help you grow. [00:24:00] Connect at a deeper level with your loved ones. That’s what I’m doing. I’m connecting with them in a different way that I never thought before with my oldest, with my middle one and with my little one. It’s such a beautiful place to be. Trust me, you are the piece of the puzzle that someone needs today. So I encourage you and I empower you to go out there and show up. As who you are as who God has given you the authority to be.

[00:24:28] Wendi: All right, ladies, have a beautiful rest of your day. And I hope. To see you soon. Join me in wendiwray.com/group the founders group for beyond the military coaching. I hope to see you there.

[00:24:41] Wendi: Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged you, or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military sister. Helping you integrate balance, prioritization, and growth in your relationship with God is my ultimate calling. I’m so blessed that you are here, [00:25:00] and please join us in the faith led military women community on Facebook at bit.ly/beyondthemilitarygrp Again, it is. bit.ly/beyondthemilitarygrp all right. Talk to you soon. Bye