Emotional Health

Episode 206. Showing up with LOVE and building habits that last

February 14, 2024

< back to blog home

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we often find ourselves submerged in an endless list of chores and responsibilities that can seem monotonous and draining. However, what if we could transform these routine tasks into acts of love and sources of joy? In our latest podcast episode, we discuss how adopting a mindset of love and service can turn everyday chores into meaningful experiences that enrich not only our lives but also those around us.

When we approach our tasks with love, we change not only our own perception of the work at hand but also the energy we bring to our environment. Our loved ones, especially children, are observant and influenced by our actions and attitudes. They learn from us, and when we model a loving approach to even the most mundane activities, we teach them to value presence, kindness, and patience. The journey toward cultivating a heart of service through everyday acts is not without its challenges. We’ve all experienced the frustration of lost work, like a podcast recording disappearing into the void of corrupted files. But it is precisely in these moments of setback that we have the opportunity to rewire our brains toward compassion and resilience. Instead of succumbing to self-criticism, we can choose to respond with patience and love—towards ourselves and others.


This episode dives into strategies for reframing challenges and maintaining a loving attitude amidst life’s inevitable hiccups. It’s about sowing the fruits of the spirit into every corner of our lives and, in turn, reaping a harvest of fulfillment and joy. Whether it’s through showing up for our children with patience during homework time, appreciating our current stage in our professional journey, or simply choosing to serve with kindness, we can create a legacy of love that stands the test of time.

Moreover, when we show love in the small things, we build a habit that becomes second nature over time. This doesn’t mean we won’t face difficulties; it means that we’ll navigate them with a more positive, loving heart. The ripple effect of this approach can be profound, impacting not only our personal well-being but also fostering a more compassionate and understanding world.


In essence, love is the undercurrent that can guide us through each day, making the ordinary extraordinary. It’s about finding joy in the process, rather than just the outcome. As we offer our hearts in service to the tasks before us, we unlock a deeper level of engagement with life and those we share it with. It’s a transformation that begins within and radiates outward, touching everything and everyone in its path.In closing, the act of infusing love into our daily tasks is not only about changing how we do things but why we do them. By doing so, we shift our focus from mere productivity to the quality of our actions and interactions.

As we foster this mindset, we become agents of change in our own lives and the lives of others, crafting a world that values love, patience, and joy in the face of the mundane.

Remember, the only thing we truly owe anyone is love. When we show up from a place of love, we are fulfilling a universal need that goes beyond the immediate task—we are nurturing the soul.

Tune into our podcast episode to explore this transformative journey further and discover how you can start implementing these practices in your own life. Let’s choose love, today and every day.

[00:00:00] Wendi: Hey sis, welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, where faith led military women overcome burnout and create more balance. Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith, family, and have more fun while still serving as a woman leader. In this podcast, you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman, organize your mind, overcome overwhelm, and create a prioritization playbook and a balanced blueprint for integrating faith, family, and career.

[00:00:28] Wendi: Yes sis, in that order. Hi, I’m Wendi Wray, woman of God, wife, mama of two, army veteran, and certified life coach. And I’m here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military, a life of laughter, joy, and intentional free time. If you are ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith led military woman, sis, this podcast is for you.

[00:00:50] Wendi: So loosen up your laces and grab your coffee because it’s time to step into freedom and peace.

[00:00:55] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode 206. I [00:01:00] am super excited to talk today about today’s topic. I am so excited that we’re talking about love and really why it’s so important to get things done with love. But before I get a little ahead of myself, I want to go ahead and warn you that I’ve been a little sick this week. There’s a lot of things that have happened. Then my own personal journey of things that I am working on, on improving my own weekly battle rhythm that I am streamlining even more.

[00:01:30] Wendi: And when I tell you that life will hit you and humble you and tell you to slow down a little bit. It will happen. That’s what’s happening to me this week. I started to get sick versus starting with my little one. Um, and you know, when someone gets sick in the family, it just continues to trickle down to everybody else. So it’s my turn.

[00:01:50] Wendi: And when I told you that I’m so appreciative of where we are within our family. Within where we are. Um, [00:02:00] mentally, emotionally, and also in a place where we have so much flexibility, I’m grateful. Um, but at the same time, nobody likes to get sick, especially mom, I don’t like getting sick and I’m sure all of you can relate.

[00:02:12] Wendi: We are the last ones that do not like to get sick because everything kind of not necessarily falls through the cracks or anything like that. Thankfully, my husband is really good with everything else as well. But it’s just that missing piece of mom being a hundred percent. And so another reason why I was so inspired. To focus on getting things done with love, even when you’re possibly say, or even when someone is sick or even when things happen.

[00:02:42] Wendi: Right. And so today I am here behind the mic behind this camera, talking to you about getting things done with love, even when you don’t feel too well, I’ll be completely honest. I am not feeling my best. My throat has been hurting. My head has been hurting. And so if I have to cough, take a little [00:03:00] sip of water. Please give me some grace. I just also wanted to emphasize the fact that it’s okay not to be 100% and we can still keep moving of course, being, um, or keeping in mind that you also need to rest because that’s one of the things that I’ve been doing more of this week.

[00:03:21] Wendi: And I’ll talk about that in another episode about rest and everything else and taking care of ourselves. Which still goes hand in hand with getting things, getting things done with love. And so today I want to focus on things that we do on a day-to-day basis. And are we taking the time to consider if we’re doing it from a place of love? And today I’m gonna give you three reasons.

[00:03:44] Wendi: I’m sure there are more than three reasons that you could possibly think of as well. Um, and then I know there’s like other researchers out there that are focusing on. Um, gathering research and data on why. Doing things out of love. Is beneficial. I know it’s out there because it’s so beneficial and [00:04:00] I’m just going to go over the top three reasons, at least from what I see, what I have seen. Personally what my clients have told me on how just showing up with love is a game changer, because it is. And also, um, kind of helping you with a tool that helps me. Um, to kind of remember and ground myself and remind myself why I want to do the things that I do every single day and really white matters so that it can help you as well. And so the reason, the first reason why it’s not only beneficial for you to do things with love is because you show up. In. Um, in a whole different way, you actually show up as an individual that is ready to spread the love. And others around.

[00:04:47] Wendi: You will notice it it’s genuine. It feels genuine from their end. And how do I know this? Because my kids will tell me. And they’re like, why do you sound mad? Or why do you sound like something’s wrong with [00:05:00] you? Like, my kids are 100% on this. It will not sugar coat anything. And I’m pretty sure your kids are too. And there they will be the first ones to call me out.

[00:05:07] Wendi: Trust me. And so they know when I am either cranky when I’m doing things, because I just want to check the block when I’m doing things in a rush. When I’m doing things, not from a place of love. And so for them, it looks like, okay, like she doesn’t want to help me with my homework. And for all of you parents out there, homework is hard. They have provided so many other ways. So many other ways for a simple problem to be solved. And listen, I get it. There’s different ways.

[00:05:39] Wendi: Everyone wants to be innovative. I get it. Uh, let’s stay and keep it simple. You guys. And I think that that’s where my frustration starts sometimes and my kids know it. I’m literally showing up in a way where I’m like, okay, this shouldn’t be this complicated shirt. It shouldn’t be. Um, this way, and I’m only focused on that homework or that [00:06:00] problem at hand. When I should also be focused on how I am showing up, and this is why I wanted to emphasize that today, because it’s good for us to notice this more and more and be more intentional with it. And so you may sometimes be thinking, well, these are things that I have to do.

[00:06:15] Wendi: Anyways. I cook, I’m like take the trash out, like little, little tasks, help them homework, take them to practice, but them up from school. All these things. Yes. Are needs, but they’re also wants. And so how can we now do this even more? So from a place of true, genuine love. And so that’s the first. Um, What is the normal, why we want to do that because others will notice. And then when they notice that also affects them. So if I show up not loving. Um, not necessarily the word or anything like that, but even just showing up with love for my child. Because they want to learn, maybe they don’t care about the math.

[00:06:59] Wendi: For [00:07:00] example, that’s one of the toughest subjects around here. How do we then show up with love for that material for them and for their growth. Because they are going to also reflect that they reflect whatever we showed them. However we show up. That’s how they also show up with us. And so that’s the first reason.

[00:07:21] Wendi: And trust me, it’s huge. Huge. I’m learning every single day. And this is why I emphasize that you take a moment. To just. Show up from a place of love because it will show up. Through other people’s lenses or someone else that you love. Or even serve. And the next reason, the second reason. Is because it will show appreciation for where you are in the moment. And this is what I mean. So let’s say you’re constantly doing small things that need to get done.

[00:07:54] Wendi: For example, I work emails, right. You know, you have to check up on email, you have to check on other, um, [00:08:00] maybe inboxes or other slides, whatever is it that you’re working on. You can then when you are doing these things, instead of doing it. Out of a place of maybe frustration, maybe a place of like, oh, I just have to do this.

[00:08:13] Wendi: Or you just need to check the block. Like I said earlier, You are not in a place where you’re appreciating this opportunity, that you have to make a change to make an impact and to serve as a woman or as a wife or as a mom, or just simply a leader, maybe as a project manager, a program manager, a teacher. Maybe even as a business woman, right.

[00:08:36] Wendi: For those of you that are out, maybe you’re teaching now, maybe you are. Um, your own business, um, Oh, you have your own business. You’re a business owner. And maybe you’re still in the military, right? Appreciation for who you are as a platoon Sergeant, as that company commander, as that. Staff member, maybe we are in S.


[00:08:55] Wendi: whatever it may be. We want to be appreciative of where we [00:09:00] are in that moment. And we’re doing all these things, right. Because most of the time it’s just. We are doing things that our mind and our bodies are so used to doing. That now it doesn’t really require a lot of thinking, but how can you still show up in a place? Or from a place of love and appreciation for where you are in that moment. Because here’s the thing, another example, again, going back to my weight loss journey and being, um, or getting back to where I was with my running and my endurance and my strength. It’s still a journey. Being appreciative of where I am now with my body now. With where I am physically. Now is also going to help me show up in appreciation every single day. Because I’m on that journey.

[00:09:49] Wendi: I want to show up with love for my body now where I am. Even if there’s the additional 20 pounds on my body, I still want to show up in [00:10:00] appreciation. How do I honor my body now? So that in the future, it’s going to be stronger so that in the future, it’s going to be more fit. Right? I’m going to be thinner. But I need to show up with love now where I am. With my body. Because what happens when you show up and appreciate. With the love, you will appreciate, appreciate where you are with what you have, and you’ll continue to build in and do what’s going to help you grow. Because what happens if I show up with. Hate or maybe even dislike. A place where I’m not kind. To myself. And I’m like, okay, you know what?

[00:10:42] Wendi: You’re already 20 pounds overweight. Who cares if you go to the gym, who cares? If you eat that donut, who cares? If you drink soda every day? You already suck, whatever. You’re not going to get better at running. If I do that, I’m not going to want to do the things that are going to help me get better.

[00:10:58] Wendi: That are going to help [00:11:00] me lose the weight they’re going to help me. Not only stay committed to not consuming as much. Sugar and flour, but also it’s going to take away from who I. W who I am and who I love at that moment. Because at the end of the day, I want to, yes, I want to grow, but I also want to love who I am in this moment, who I am. So that’s the second reason you want to show up with love. And get things done with love because you want to be appreciative of where you are now. So me getting out of bed early in the morning, me going to the gym, me making sure that I am eating healthier than I was before is me getting things done with love, for who I am. In this moment, appreciating where I am in this moment. And so same thing for you.

[00:11:59] Wendi: [00:12:00] Where are you as a wife? Where are you as a leader? Are you still getting things done with love? Meaning you’re still showing up early. You’re still showing up. Ready and prepared and focused on the people that you are serving for your husband, for your kids, for your team. For your meetings, are you being intentional and are you taking it serious from a place of love?

[00:12:24] Wendi: Not from a place of like, oh, I have to do this. Or here we go again. I’m the only one doing things. And not being kind to yourself.

[00:12:33] Wendi: So that’s number two, number three, this one’s my favorite. I always leave the best for last. But, well, I tried to. You’re building a habit of wrong term will be. And this is what I mean. We want. To continue to train our brains to be kinder to ourselves, because I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s a lot easier. It’s a lot easier to be unkind to myself. And to show [00:13:00] love. And appreciation for myself. And so we build this habit. Um, okay.

[00:13:05] Wendi: I’m going to be kinder and I’m going to show up and get things done with the love for me, for others. And the more you do that, you’re building a habit of not self-sabotaging of not beating yourself up and calling yourself names because that’s typically what happens when you’re like, okay, just great example.

[00:13:24] Wendi: This literally happened. Um, yesterday because I was recording this episode for me, new video. App that is available that came with this camera. And I’m like, you know what, I’m going to try it out. I failed to check if there was a backup cloud. If like the internet goes out or something goes out, if it backs up to this. This device. I didn’t do that because I thought that does it makes sense.

[00:13:50] Wendi: It probably does have that. I’m going to record, it’s going to save and I’m going to upload it. And my episode’s going to be good to go. It didn’t happen. The complete opposite happened. It [00:14:00] recorded. It just didn’t say correctly. It became corrupted. I can no longer use the recording. The 20 minutes that I recorded. The same episode, completely gone out the window.

[00:14:10] Wendi: Those 40 minutes that I tried, that I was in front of the camera, trying to recover it. Completely gone out the window. It’s in the past. I could have easily been unkind to myself and be like, what an idiot, why didn’t I check that? And just continued on this spiral of just being in kind and showing up. From a place of anger and frustration and unkind. But instead, because I’ve been intentional with this before and I’m doing it even more so with my family, because I sometimes forget that they also need that reminder of me showing up with love till they can reciprocate that. And so again, because I’ve been building in me and being more intentional with showing up with love, I realized, wait a [00:15:00] minute. This is something that might bring this catching on this new neural pathway of, okay.

[00:15:07] Wendi: Let’s just focus on how am I going to serve others and myself. With what I am doing. Okay, so that didn’t work. Those 40 minutes are off the window. How can I now? Record find time to record again, provide the same message and even better, right? Like I want to do this even better. Because then we’ll have this opportunity. How do I show up with love, be appreciative of where I am at now as a podcaster. And how do I continue to build on this habit so that when this happens again, because it will happen again. As a podcast, or if you have a podcast or you’re a producer, or you do anything that’s content related. Anything with technology really it’s going to happen again.

[00:15:50] Wendi: Or radio goes down all the time when the Humvee. Technology always has something that’s going to fail because it’s just the nature of what it is. It’s [00:16:00] technology and it’s okay. It’s okay. And so how I would love for you to. Or at least consider for you to start showing up with loving, getting things done with love. It’s simply just ask yourself every single time you catch yourself frustrated, overwhelmed, or maybe just doing things to check the block and being a little anxious because it’s not getting done. I want you to ask yourself, am I showing up from a place of love right now? And if the answer is no, I want you to then ask yourself this question.

[00:16:32] Wendi: How can I show up with love in this moment where I am, even when. Even when it doesn’t go well, even when it didn’t record, even when you were sick, even when. You wanna have your kids bring back a grade that you are not satisfied with? Even when your kids are hurting, even when your spouse is hurting. Even when things are not going the way it’s supposed to be going. [00:17:00] How are you showing up in love or first question, are you showing up in love?

[00:17:04] Wendi: The answer is no. How can you now begin to show it with love? And so I want to offer you. To take a moment. And just be okay with where you are and be okay if you have a thousand things to do a thousand things to do. And you’re like, you know what? I really don’t love doing all of this. Trust me. I don’t love homework.

[00:17:25] Wendi: I don’t love. Actually not knowing how to solve sixth grade, seventh grade math. But what I do love in who I do love on my kids. And I love being there as an example, a mom for them. I love that. And it may not be that you, you may not like PowerPoint slides. You may not like briefing. You may hate it, but we, you do love, you love growth.

[00:17:49] Wendi: You want to grow. You want to see yourself? Grow and evolve. That’s what you do love. So how can you show up? In love for those lights. For that meeting [00:18:00] for that conversation that you don’t look forward to. How can you show up from a place of love? Maybe show some compassion. Maybe show up humble. Right. We sometimes forget that there are others involved. And that others are paying attention.

[00:18:15] Wendi: How do we show up? So that’s what I want to offer you today. And I want to leave you with this. I just love that one. God has given us from some of the spirit that he has offered us. And that he wants us to continue to grow and nurture and flourish. And so love is the first one. And I asked myself, oh my gosh, like why Islam?

[00:18:38] Wendi: The first one? Like two years ago. And a couple of weeks later days later, um, a pastor shared that they has to be the great reason of love, overpowers, everything else. And it’s completely true. And one of the verses a he. Um, reference to was Romans chapter [00:19:00] 13, verse eight, that I love. And I keep in my signature block just as a reminder. Because sometimes emails can get a little hectic yell.

[00:19:06] Wendi: Emails can get a little overwhelming. And it’s do not owe anyone, anything except to love one another. So no matter what anyone is going through, we don’t know what everyone is going through at the moment. You may not want to share what you’re going through in that moment. But when I tell you that the only thing that we owe anyone is. Share the love for one another.

[00:19:30] Wendi: Just share. Love. And love one another. Just love them where they’re at. And that’s what I tell some type of husband. Just just love me please. I’m not perfect. No one is perfect. And so just keeping that verse in our heads, meditating on that verse and praying every single day to help us show up with love. To help us to continue to share love, joy, peace, kindness, the fruits of the spirit. [00:20:00] If we can show up in that way, I promise you, you are making an impact.

[00:20:04] Wendi: Every single with every single person you are encountering and also with every single task you were doing. Because I promise you, it’s only going to get better. And in a way where it doesn’t mean that you won’t. That you will have less to do. It just means that you will show up with love. And regardless of what the task is, it could be going to the gym.

[00:20:25] Wendi: It could be picking up the kids after practice and taking them to another practice and taking the other child to another practice or helping them with homework. Or do a thousand slides for what you do at word, or maybe do a 12 mile ruck, March, whatever it is. It’s only going to get better because you’re showing up with a better heart.

[00:20:44] Wendi: You’re showing up. With a mentality of I’m here for it. And I’m going to show love for who I am, and I’m going to show up with love for others in service. And being kind. Because here’s another thing that I want to also [00:21:00] leave you with. And I know when I promise I’ll wrap it, wrap it up with this. We sometimes think that we need to be unkind to ourselves to get things done.

[00:21:08] Wendi: And that is not the truth. It works for some of you, it may work temporarily, but it will not work longterm. Because you will continue to be stressed out, overwhelmed, frustrated, getting angry in that my friends is going to create a lot of, um, diseases is going to create things that are not helpful for your body mentally and emotionally, because it’s only going to continue to compound. You’re going to continue to resist these negative emotions.

[00:21:34] Wendi: Are you going to try to avoid it in different ways? And you’re going to go do the thing. Yes. You’re going to go do, you’re going to go do the run. You’re going to go. Do the ruck March, whatever it is that you need to do, if you’re unkind with yourself, it’s going to work temporarily. But for the longterm, you want to build the habit of showing up with love for you and for others. Showing up with love. And it being the motivator for you instead of the hustle, [00:22:00] instead of the unkindness and the overwhelmed, stressed out, beating yourself up, it only works temporarily So I want to offer you. To start getting things done with love, showing up with love. Because it’s going to help you.

[00:22:16] Wendi: Long-term. And others around you. All right, lady. I hope that this podcast episode inspired you and it’s encouraging you to go out there. Show up with love, get things done with time. And continue on this journey because it’s just going to get better and better each day. All right. Have a beautiful rest of your week.

[00:22:36] Wendi: Talk to you next week. Bye.

[00:22:38] Wendi: Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged you, or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military sister. Helping you integrate balance, prioritization, and growth in your relationship with God is my ultimate calling. I’m so blessed that you are here, and please join us in the faith led military women community [00:23:00] on Facebook at bit.

[00:23:01] Wendi: ly forward slash beyond the military GRP. Again, it is. Bitly beyond the military GRP. All right. Talk to you soon. Bye