Emotional Health

Episode 159: Feeling dread and what to do with it?

March 29, 2023

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Do you sometimes wonder why you are feeling dread towards certain events or future tasks? In today’s episode, I go over why you are feeling dread and what to do when it comes up.  

  • [00:00:00] Wendi: hello ladies. And welcome to episode 159. [00:01:00] I hope that you’re doing well. There’s a lot. Going on over here on my end, which is a lot of great things. And, you know, I’m just grateful and I’m thankful. You know, all praise to God, because there’s a lot of great things happening over here. Um, at the same time, of course there’s a negative emotion, right? Like I talk about this all the time, because I want you guys to know that there will never be a time where you’re in a period or in a season where you’re constantly happy.
  • [00:01:26] Wendi: Or there aren’t any negative emotion that could have come up because of everything that is going, you know, amazing. There will always be something, a circumstance or a situation where you will experience negative emotion, where you all have. Disappointment and you’ll be discouraged. And trust me, I’m like in the middle of it right now. I am not only I’m in the middle of like getting a lot of the program stuff going for the coaching.
  • [00:01:53] Wendi: But I’ll be launching this year. And also at the same time, you know, getting running a role with projects at work, which [00:02:00] is all great projects. And then also on top of that, let’s not forget my little one is she is. Not only growing really fast, but also just keeping you really involved and engaged. And that’s exactly what my older kids are doing.
  • [00:02:13] Wendi: Um, as well. And my husband’s just constantly keeping me on my toes as well. Um, pushing me to do other things and, you know, really kind of step out into this, um, you know, post partum, you know, slash having an infant baby and. You know, I’m still comfortable in my space and now it’s really time for me to, you know, kind of keep going into the routine that I had and getting into it. And, you know, I’m just really grateful for the support that I do have, and there’s just so many great things happening at the same time. And again, I’m just grateful for the things that I’m involved in.
  • [00:02:48] Wendi: You know, the family is great. Um, my parents were here recently to visit and I’m just, you know, again, blessed, grateful, and I hope that, um, you are as well. And if not, you know, like I [00:03:00] said, this episode is not necessarily about all negative emotion, but I want to talk about dread. And if you’re feeling dread.
  • [00:03:06] Wendi: You know what to do with it. And. Really how to, um, How to understand that it’s happening and what to do with it. So, you know why it’s happening, where’s it coming from? And is this something that you can get rid of? Is this something that, you know, you should really experience and filter through? And my answer to all of that is yes.
  • [00:03:28] Wendi: And so dried is going to come up. It’s just a nature of our humanity. Nature of our, how our mind works. And so today that’s what I’m talking about. If you’re feeling trade or you are feeling like you are treading the beginning of a tweak on of like my kids, they do not like Mondays. I am the other hand, love Mondays. It’s the beginning of.
  • [00:03:49] Wendi: A new week. It’s the beginning of just, you know, a new beginning to really tackle anything that was outstanding or anything coming up. And so if you don’t one [00:04:00] of those people that are like, okay, I hate Mondays, or I really dread a PD test or I dread. Certain events, certain training events, certain, you know, milestones phases. Hey, I get it.
  • [00:04:15] Wendi: I’m pretty sure we’ve all have dread, you know, morning formation or just information in general or really any type of event in our lives. And so this is why I wanted to talk about this because I’m literally, and like in the middle of a tread full season. I don’t even, I don’t even think it’s like a dreadful season. It’s just me feeling dread constantly.
  • [00:04:35] Wendi: And me having to really, um, direct my mind and really direct. Um, my thinking on why. I’m feeling this way. And as I’ve mentioned before, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings over actions and our actions create our results in it’s all about what we’re thinking about that situation or that circumstance. So whatever it might be, that you’re dreading. So just to give you an example for me personally, in this moment in this season, and it’s something that I’m [00:05:00] recording this podcast.
  • [00:05:01] Wendi: I am dreading to not only go back to a physical gym, but honestly, to get back into this routine. Of constantly working out for a minimum of 20 minutes a day. And I will share with you why. One, I am a dreading the, the time that it’s going, that it’s taking me to get through that, um, that goal that, um,
  • [00:05:26] Wendi: I do go there, like to call and also that task. And the reason for it is because there’s a before, during and after. Right? So there’s three phases to that one thing. And so whatever it may be, right, it may be a PT test. They may be an exam. It may be a paper and may be just having a conversation with your husband or a conversation with your kids or going to this event for your kids, whatever it might look like for you, it’s different for everyone or just any project or any event that’s happening at work.
  • [00:05:53] Wendi: There is always something that we tread. Because of, again, what we’re thinking, what our thoughts, what our thoughts are about that [00:06:00] situation about this circumstance. And what I want to clarify today is that it’s okay. That you feel that way because here’s the reason. Our brains only want to be entertained with pleasurable things. We only want to focus on things that bring us pleasure.
  • [00:06:14] Wendi: Our brain is wired to indulge in as dopamine. Chemical that gets in our mind or triggered by a certain event or, um, It’s circumstance that happens or that we conduct. Um, for example, social media. Uh, for example, um, watching a video, watching Netflix, something that’s easy. Um, and also that requires minimal effort. So of course me going, preparing it, you know, a workout or going to the gym physically.
  • [00:06:44] Wendi: You know, getting in my vehicle and physically interacting with other humans and you know, all these other things that require energy, that required effort that require my attention in a non pleasurable way is going to seem. [00:07:00] That, um, or the feeling of dread. And so the same thing may be for you, right? And maybe a paper. He may be an email. I may be a conversation and interaction that creates that negative emotion for you. So then it becomes a matter of like, what do you do when you are feeling dread? And the first thing I want to say is to acknowledge it, you want to acknowledge that? Yes, you’re feeling trapped because you’re a human and you don’t want to do things because. Or things that are going to require effort. Things are going to require.
  • [00:07:35] Wendi: Any type of pain. So again, for me going to the gym could be a little painful, right? And for you, the paper or that exam that we may be coming up is a little painful when you have to actually focus and think. Because most of us are distracted, right. Or we even find ways to get distracted because we don’t want to put that much thought or effort into it.
  • [00:07:59] Wendi: So [00:08:00] first step is to just acknowledge it, acknowledge that you are feeling the treaded because of what you’re thinking about that circumstance about this situation. And then I want you to come to sensei. Hey, it’s okay. I’m only human. I’m not perfect. There’s going to be things that I’m going to tread.
  • [00:08:16] Wendi: And then be open to relief, feeling that emotion, really filling the tread and being okay. And having drinks for yourself because listen, most of this is something that you don’t do. On a daily basis or even on a weekly basis. Yes. For most of us Mondays come every week. Right? Like every week we were prepared to get ready for the week. And some of us, it was Sunday. Some of us do it Monday. Some of us don’t do it at all.
  • [00:08:42] Wendi: And that may be why you may be dreading it to write it because you’re thinking I’m not prepared. I’m never prepared. Here we go again another week that I’m not, um, planning or another week that went by so on and so forth, or an event or a training event that you are not looking forward to because.
  • [00:08:58] Wendi: You are [00:09:00] thinking. Things that are supporting negative. Um, emotion. So you may be discouraged. You may be disappointed. You’re not going to be bought Bob, maybe motivated. So anything of that sort again is going to continue to compound to that feeling of dread in the morning, fill it in. You try to avoid it or resist it.
  • [00:09:19] Wendi: Or completely. Um, ignore it. Um, you are definitely going to compound to it and not be able to, um, completely feel and go through that process of the, the, the negative emotion of dread. And so, again, nothing wrong. Nothing’s gone wrong. You’re just being human. Completely fine. And most importantly, when you are.
  • [00:09:43] Wendi: In a place where there’s a lot going on, right. When you’re in a place where you’re like, okay, And not only do I have these hundred things on my list. Um, on my schedule on my calendar, or I need to be where my attention is needed. But I also have to do this one thing that I don’t want to do. And so what happens [00:10:00] sometimes?
  • [00:10:00] Wendi: Is it, then that trickles down to everything else. So you then instead of only filling the dread form, the workout, mindful and dress for, um, you know, taking the kids to school or getting the kids ready or, you know, getting these tasks on for work, maybe even so now dinner situation, right? Like, oh, I don’t even wanna plan dinner anymore.
  • [00:10:19] Wendi: Aren’t you want to even get to that point? So now you’re like, oh, Pudding even asking the question of what we’re having for dinner, or even asking the question on how can I better prepare myself for this other event, because you’re now so focused on that dread that’s coming up. So you’re literally anticipating that red.
  • [00:10:36] Wendi: Which causes the dread and then you’re going through the dread throughout the day, because you’re like, not acknowledging it. You’re like, Hey, I’m not even going to think that it’s here with me, like in my body, because that’s really what happens. Secure filling. Like, for me, it’s like heavy and it’s like, oh, I don’t want to do this. And, um, you know, moving slower or whatever it may be.
  • [00:10:58] Wendi: But at the same time, [00:11:00] It’s very, you’re thinking about it. You’re filling it. Sometimes unconsciously, right? You’re like, I don’t know what it is. I’m just in a bad mood or whatever it may be, but it’s the trend that you are anticipating ahead of time. And so again, it could be a losing situation when you want, you don’t acknowledge it.
  • [00:11:14] Wendi: Um, Y you don’t acknowledge it because you don’t know that it’s supposed to be there. Right. Is supposed to come up because you are human. Our brain wants pleasure. Less effort and no pain. And most of the things that you’re dreading may have all three, if not, um, one at least. So again, that’s one of the reasons why you’re, you’re feeling it. You’re not acknowledging him because you don’t understand that that’s what’s really happening in the cycle. That’s going on in your mind and in your body.
  • [00:11:41] Wendi: And so then when you do acknowledge it and you’re like, okay, listen, I’m a human, I’m a mom, a wife, a mom. Leader. I’m a volunteer here. I’m involved in X, Y, Z. And you know, you have different areas that are needing your attention, and then you really understand that. Okay. It’s okay. I’m not going to be perfect. I’m not going to feel [00:12:00] excited about everything that I do or motivated, encouraged.
  • [00:12:03] Wendi: And just ready for every single thing that I have, because that’s not how it works. If that were the case, or if that’s the case and you may be too comfortable. You need to get out of your comfort zone. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear today. But at the same time, it’s really being honest with yourself. Right. And so, again,
  • [00:12:21] Wendi: If you are doing things you’re growing, you’re evolving. That means that yes, they’re going to be things that you dread that you don’t want to do. And maybe as simple as picking up the phone or, you know, um, doing something that doesn’t require as much energy as you think. But at the same time, it’s there. So acknowledge it.
  • [00:12:39] Wendi: Um, be able to, um, let me have grace for yourself, but then actually feel and experience the negative emotion that tread. And really ask yourself too, like, okay. What is it that maybe I am anticipating and maybe not even. You know, possibly even happen, right? Like, um, maybe it could be like, I’m going to get stuck or not gonna know [00:13:00] what I wrote it write about or not going to know what workout to do.
  • [00:13:03] Wendi: Um, you can immediately be like, okay, there’s so many things that have available to me to help me. With, you know, how to, um, deal with writer’s block or how to, uh, or what videos that you can watch while you’re working out or whatever it may be that you’re struggling with, or that you’re treading.
  • [00:13:22] Wendi: So that then you now have the answer to that. Um, problem or the solution to that problem, because that’s exactly what our minds like to do. It likes to suck us in. To this. Um, position where we’re like in the, I don’t know when we do know, and we do know how to get the answer and solve that problem.
  • [00:13:42] Wendi: And so again, Being able to do that, you know, one again, just, you know, understanding why you get or, or why you’re feeling dread. And then two what to do with it when you do feel tread and something seems like it’s just so dreadful that you are. One [00:14:00] anticipating the dread ahead of time. And so I want to take time today to, again, just acknowledge that it’s okay. That you’re going to feel some type of drive for certain events for certain milestones in your life. Certain situations that you are, you know, experiencing.
  • [00:14:18] Wendi: Again, especially if you’re like, you know, reaching towards the school that you’re, you know, constantly pushing yourself and constantly having to redirect your mind to focusing on the why you’re doing it. Right. Because at the end of the day, that’s one of the reasons that. You know, um, these goals really even, um,
  • [00:14:38] Wendi: Really come to fruition or even, you know, as even an idea to begin with, because it’s something that, you know, you want to get done. And it’s just something that you continue to push yourself and continue to move yourself forward with when it comes to, um, whatever it may be. But any goal that you have, it’s going to require effort.
  • [00:14:54] Wendi: It’s going to require. Um, some type of non pleasurable experience, non pleasurable. [00:15:00] Action that you have to take. But that didn’t. Again, making sure at is something that you are constantly focused on and that’s going to be a whole nother episode, but when it comes time for us to focus or needing to focus, that can be dreadful within its own.
  • [00:15:14] Wendi: Um, cells because we’re so used to being distracted. We’re so used to having something to distract ourselves. From actually doing the work. And so, again, It’s okay. That you’re feeling dread. It’s okay. That there are things that you’re not going to enjoy, not be motivated to your there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re already.
  • [00:15:33] Wendi: Human that is doing. You know, Typical things that are constantly going to. You know, need you to re direct your attention to. All right, ladies. I hope that this topic in this episode blessed you and continues to encourage you to, Hey, keep pushing progress or perfection and allow you to not only give you that space to.
  • [00:15:55] Wendi: Understand why it’s happening, but also to actually feel the negative emotion. All right. Have a [00:16:00] beautiful rest of your week. Talk to you soon. Bye.