[00:00:56] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 131. How are you doing? I hope that you’re enjoying your week. I hope that you’re ready for today’s episode for today’s topic, because today we are touching on part two. On how to focus on consistent action after making your post-military career plan. Because as we all know, we are humans and there’s always so many things going on. So many things are distracting us stately.

[00:01:23] Wendi: And that’s just the world we’re living in. And I mean, can we blame our generation? We sure can’t because this is where we are. And there are a lot of things out there that are just men only. Distracting us mentally, but also emotionally. And if you’ve been tuning in and listening. Four or sticking with me for the last 130 episodes. One, I want to say thank you for tuning in and at two, I want to also emphasize that you also.

[00:01:54] Wendi: Understand the importance of what we are constantly thinking about what we are constantly [00:02:00] filtering. Um, the thoughts that are coming. And only, um, probably more often than, than not. And how we can better. And only use the model. To be intentional with how we want to feel and what we want to do, because ultimately, you know, we aren’t perfect and we are.

[00:02:24] Wendi: Not only humans that are always, um, in this pleasurable wanting to fulfill our fleshly desire. Because it’s just so much easier and it feels better than having to go through any pain or having to go through any discomfort. Or honestly put any effort and you know, I’m one of them I love to. Just relax and not think of things that.

[00:02:51] Wendi: Or all the things that I need to get done or the things that are coming up, because if I do, I get overwhelmed and I start stressing out and then I get anxious because that’s just [00:03:00] kind of like my nature of. Who I’ve been, um, as not only a younger. Uh, version of me, but also kind of how I was wired. And as you all know, in the military,

[00:03:12] Wendi: Everything is like due yesterday or two weeks ago. And you have to do it like right away. But then you find yourself sometimes waiting or sometimes you find yourself, um, you know, so many things late, just because of the, so many things that you have going on, right? Like you have. Uh, family, you have time that you want to dedicate.

[00:03:32] Wendi: You know, to others. And not only that, you’re always on a go, go, go in a very fast paced environment. So of course there’s going to be so many things coming up. We’re constantly going to be exhausted, overwhelmed. But at the same time, you know, how do we manage that? Right? Like how do we continue to stay consistent? Or at least.

[00:03:53] Wendi: Be okay with taking small steps, taking, you know, even if it’s [00:04:00] actions here and there for a, um, a bigger plan that you have in the next three to five years. And. That’s why I want to focus on this because like I mentioned, in the previous episode, 130. Many of us, especially women. We want to. Not only prolong our planning when it comes to the transition.

[00:04:22] Wendi: And not only like our career, I was actually just having this conversation. Um, with another veteran, she got out a couple of years ago. And we pretty much connected and she mentioned how she wished she would have started sooner. Um, when it comes to thinking about. Not only her transition, but also her relationship life. And I thought that was very interesting because we do this a lot and it doesn’t have to be specifically with our relationship. It could be with, you know, how to spend more time with your kids, how to spend more time, you know, in this hobby.

[00:04:57] Wendi: How to better prepare yourself. [00:05:00] In a different area of your life. You’re going to be financially. It could You know, with a business that you’ve always wanted to start, or again, this additional hobby. That you wanted to pick up, but never did because you were so focused and you were in the grind, the everyday grind, and yet not really.

[00:05:17] Wendi: Um, take the time to focus on. The other part that also, you know, not only is who you are, but also this person that you’re going to continue to evolve into. And so. Based on what I talked about in the last episode and really the last three episodes on how we start planning and why it’s important to plan.

[00:05:39] Wendi: You know, the, the things, the, the milestones that you need to look into. And also, how can you embrace this, change, this transition, regardless of what it could be, if you are already out of the military, or if you’re still in the military and you’re like, I have no idea when I’m getting out, but I think maybe sooner than later, and maybe in the next five years, it will be the next 10 years and maybe [00:06:00] next year.

[00:06:01] Wendi: It doesn’t really. The timeframe that it doesn’t necessarily matter, per se. Of course. Yes. There’s. You know, if you’re getting out in the next six months, of course, yet you may want to, you know, um, do something sooner than later, but at the same time you want to build that skill. Of planning for the next.

[00:06:23] Wendi: Uh, three years. Because it’s something that you want to continue to focus on and I get it. And I’ve mentioned this before and I’m sure. You know this better than I do. Our plans never go 100% how we plan it. There’s always going to be. A Fraggle there’s always going to be, you know, life happens. There will always sometimes even be better options, right. Maybe instead of, you know, um, you saving or getting out of debt in a year in, you know, three years, you did it in a year.

[00:06:54] Wendi: Way better. Right? Maybe. You know, something happened that. Um, [00:07:00] made a pivot to your plan or shifted maybe your, your thinking on a specific. Um, The specific area of your life. So again, I just want to emphasize that. Whatever you plan. Of course, at the end of the day it’s God’s plan at the end of the day.

[00:07:18] Wendi: You know, his plan for you is much bigger and better than what you can ever imagine. So still having this in place or being able to at least maneuver from where you are now into the possibility or the opportunities that are available. Is so much better than. Being overwhelmed or just sitting and relaxing in autopilot. Now, you know that you have the transition, it could be medically, it could be, you know, maybe now you decided to start a family. It could be, you know, you’re now dual military, or maybe now, you know,

[00:07:51] Wendi: You have a child or a family member that needs. More care and now you have to physically attend to them. And so you want to be ready no [00:08:00] matter what. And I know that this is so much easier than said it trusts me because I. Never took the time to plan my transition because I just didn’t think that that was an opportunity for me, that was going

[00:08:12] Wendi: Benefit me in the long run. And this is why I want to really focus on this topic because for the most

[00:08:21] Wendi: As I mentioned before, and the previous episode, we go into consumption mode. We go into ways. That we not necessarily intentionally, but unconsciously distract ourselves from so that we don’t have to think about this so that we don’t have to, um, really be in this. Um, thinking of, okay, what could the possibilities be of me starting a career or starting all over again? Because that’s really what scares us, right? We’re like, oh my gosh, we don’t want to start all over.

[00:08:49] Wendi: Who are we going to be? Our identity changes and it’s a new environment and, oh my gosh, like I am not mentally, emotionally ready. And there’s so many things that I want to do in the military. And not [00:09:00] taking away from what you want to continue to do. Or whatever career you’re in career field. But what about the possibilities of what you could be doing in the next couple of years?

[00:09:13] Wendi: And with that, it begins with us letting go of that identity. And that is. Really kind of like the foundation of. How you will remain consistent. Because this is what’s scary. And at least for most of us. The scariest part is who will we be? And. I wished that question was different instead of like, uh, thinking of like, oh no,

[00:09:39] Wendi: We’re no longer going to have this rank, or I am no longer going to be active duty. I am no longer going to have that security right. Of, you know, finances or just everything taken care of. And so when we, you know, immediately go into fear or our mind or primitive brain likes to keep us safe. We [00:10:00] immediately.

[00:10:01] Wendi: Um, Take take this, this, um, this identity that we have as a loss as if we will never be this person ever again, or we’re going to have to start all over. And so when we go into this like mentality of one scarcity that it’s, it’s not gonna, you know, it’s, it’s better here than over there because that’s not true.

[00:10:24] Wendi: We go into like this whole, like all or nothing thinking as well. We think that. Nothing that we may even consider me work in the military. I mean, outside of the military, And all that we’re doing now is working. So why not stay. Not only comfortable, secure, safe. But also. And this environment where, you know,

[00:10:48] Wendi: Um, or you at least have some predictability. Of what that looks like versus the very uncertain. And you have no idea who you’re going to be like. What do you mean I’m going to be Wendy [00:11:00] instead of captain Ray, what do you mean? I’m not going to have a actual position. I’m going to have to just be this woman.

[00:11:07] Wendi: And that just has no title or slash position. And so I want to offer you today. That one you want to start with? Who you are like where. Or how have you described yourself? As who you are, not only as you as an individual. But who you are based on who God says you are. And I think I’ve said this. A couple of episodes before.

[00:11:34] Wendi: On. You know who God says you are versus who we think Because it’s very different. And for the most part. We want to describe. Ourselves as we are this individual, this woman in the military, married mom with this degree, this much money in the bank, whatever that might look like for you. But ultimately like, who does God say you are as [00:12:00] your father in us? His daughter.

[00:12:03] Wendi: And.

[00:12:06] Wendi: How do you want to elaborate that? Not only. Within your mind within your heart, but also out loud, right? Like who are you? And by that, I mean, and I I’ve talked about this before. Um, the find is a book that we’ve read, um, a part of my book club. And this was, um, I think early this year. Yeah, it had to been early this year.

[00:12:33] Wendi: And when I tell you that this book. Is a must read. You have to go get it. Define who God says you are. Because it’s, um, it not only really talks about. The, the, the, the word that God has given us of, you know, the reminders of who we are in Christ. But also how confusing we can make it. If we don’t.

[00:12:57] Wendi: Filter those thoughts. If we don’t [00:13:00] really align and renew our thinking to his word based on how we. Um, you know, have been wired from the very beginning, right? Based on what the world says about us, what, um, others non-believers believe that is, you know, to be true when they’re all So highly recommend.

[00:13:19] Wendi: If you haven’t read this book already highly recommend that you do. Because it’s seriously something that. I one have two. Not only dissect when it came to the word, but also the actual wall. Um, meaning and how he defined certain things that I didn’t even know or realized that I was believing. Under underneath the surface because we do this all the time.

[00:13:47] Wendi: And so. This is what I want to offer you too, when it comes to understanding who you are, um, not only who you are as you as an individual. But also [00:14:00] specifically, like who. God created you to be. And why, and as you know, God created you to be. You your own person, right? Like there’s no other person like you, that he created, he knows everything about you. He was so intentional about you and he created

[00:14:17] Wendi: For his good purpose, not for anybody. Else’s. Not about. Um, someone that you’re comparing yourself to, but. Just And so when we go into like, okay, so who are we. And you know, who do we want to continue to beam? And then you immediately got like, okay. What am I supposed to do? Like he created me for his good purpose. So what am I supposed to do?

[00:14:42] Wendi: What is his plan for my life? The truth is that God first wants you to know. Who he created you to be.

[00:14:54] Wendi: And so when you know who you are, Your act. Based on [00:15:00] who he created you to be. Meaning you won’t be confused. Meaning. That. If you don’t fully understand your identity, you will be completely. Um, aimlessly just out there, not knowing. How to show And so understanding who you are. And again, going back to the word right, going to Ephesians two 10.

[00:15:27] Wendi: We are his workmanship created in Jesus Christ for his good works.

[00:15:33] Wendi: And understanding that. Got a defines your identity and not the world. Not you. But only God. And so being in this understanding in grounded, in not only your faith grounded in the word. Understanding that. Whatever you decide to do whatever you decide. Um, that you think that is the [00:16:00] best opportunity for you in the future.

[00:16:02] Wendi: It’s something that you want to constantly pray about, that you want to constantly. Um, really ask him and continue to ask others, you know, like what do you see. Like, how would you define me? And really then, you know, defined, ask yourself, like, how do you define yourself? That’s one thing that I did, and I found really interesting.

[00:16:23] Wendi: Because of course. There, there were like this. Th this idea of like who I thought I was, and then asking, you know, our group of, you know, who do you think, like, how would you define me? And then asking, you know, one of my great friends, like how would you define who I am? As an individual was your friend.

[00:16:44] Wendi: And, you know, the, every answer was different mine. It was more of like how I wanted to be perceived. And then I immediately thought about this and I was like, okay. Well, How do I believe? Based [00:17:00] on how God created me to be. Affect the way I see myself. And that was, that was really it, right? Like when you can go to his word.

[00:17:11] Wendi: And remind yourself constantly. Uh, he created you. Two. Not only, um, B as is worksmanship. But also. He created you to be wonderfully and fearfully made are fearfully and wonderfully made. And he knows you so well. And. He not only has called you by your name. And reminded us reminded That you are his, and it just.

[00:17:42] Wendi: Really gives me a whole different perspective, right? Because now Learn to believe I can. Each and every single day.

[00:17:51] Wendi: Aspire to believe that because It really is, especially when you’re centers, especially when you know, you do things wrong every [00:18:00] single day as a mom, as a wife. As a leader when you’re like, man, I’m not there yet. I want to But then you get reminded that God created you to be who you are. Right. Because especially me, like I get mad quick.

[00:18:16] Wendi: And I’m not the most patient person. But I know that God created me the way he did. And there’s a reason behind that. There’s a reason why. Being patient is my weakness. There’s a reason why he wants me to come to him. And ask him to help me to be more patient. There is a reason for that. I don’t know the reason.

[00:18:33] Wendi: He knows it. He’s perfect. I don’t understand what he understands at that capacity. So who are you? Right? It’s okay. If you are an impatient person. It’s okay. If you anger easily.

[00:18:46] Wendi: My question to you. Is, is that something that you want to continue to work on and build upon? And continue to be reminded of that. God’s got He made you fearfully and wonderfully made. [00:19:00] And again, being okay with. Who you are now, even how you would define yourself. But how God defines you is also even better.

[00:19:10] Wendi: And so that is going to get kin. Um, the one, you know, the first to admit it and it’s supposed to, right. Like you’re not supposed to. Not dealt yourself. I mean, I think about it. Our brain can only handle so much. Yes. There’s going to be self-doubt. That you are going to, you know, be successful in whatever business be the best real estate investor.

[00:19:32] Wendi: Be the best mom out there. Of course. But when, when you only focus on. What your mind can handle. Knowing that one. The self that was coming from your thoughts. Because self-doubt is a feeling. Or even any doubt, it doesn’t have to be self doubt it’s because you haven’t done it before. Or maybe you haven’t, it hasn’t worked out the way you envisioned

[00:19:58] Wendi: But when you ask him, [00:20:00] when you pray about it and when you’re like, listen, I’m not going to be. Extremely successful. When I get out the first year, it may take me a couple of years. I’m gonna take me a couple of months. Who knows. But what you do know. Is that. You haven’t done this before. This will be your first time. So yes, self doubt is going to come up.

[00:20:19] Wendi: That was going to come up. And if you go back to episode 40, I talk about what you can do when self-doubt does come up. Because it’s going to have to come up. There’s no Anyone that transitions out of the military. Is completely confident. That they are going to succeed in that specific They know that the may succeed. They just don’t know when and what.

[00:20:46] Wendi: And who they’re going to be. But self-doubt is supposed to come up. Because we’re humans. We are humans with fleshy desires. And. We don’t know any better. [00:21:00] We don’t understand the way. Got a works and, you know, the goodness and the great things that he has for us. So It’s going to come So first identify, um,

[00:21:12] Wendi: No identifying, but really knowing who you are based on who God says you And again, highly recommend that book. Define who God says you are by the Kendrick brothers. Um, really, really great book and soul. The next I want you to focus on embracing what you offer. As it is the second thing that I want you to focus

[00:21:36] Wendi: That’s going to help you take this consistent action. What you offer? This is what I mean. What do you bring to the table? What skills, what sets you apart? Right. And you know, obviously a lot of people are like, oh, what’s the value, yada, yada, yada. But here’s the thing. God has given you a gift already.

[00:21:53] Wendi: You have certain skills that you’ve yes, you’re fine. You’ve built. You’ve. Um, done in the [00:22:00] military, whatever career you’re You’ve pretty much gotten them down, packed.

[00:22:06] Wendi: But what exactly is it that you offer already without having to do much thinking or much That’s what I want you to focus on? Like, what is it? Because most of you are going to be confused. You’re like, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I still want to, you know, get married and have kids and yada, yada,

[00:22:26] Wendi: You don’t have to do a thousand things. All I want you to focus on is what do you have to offer? And by that, I mean, what do you bring to the table? What skills. What sets you apart with gifts? God has blessed you with Like I said, Clearly I am not bless a patient’s. So me working with kids is out of, out of the, out of the picture. Like I just cannot imagine.

[00:22:47] Wendi: Working with kids because I mean, I would love to, but I know that that’s not my. My strong suit. That’s not where I see myself. Not only I’m doing well. But also it’s not [00:23:00] something that I know comes easy to Something that I’m going to have to work really hard. Now. I’m not saying I would never do that. Of course. I love kids. I love my kids. I love other kids.

[00:23:08] Wendi: But it’s not something that I’m like yearning to do. Right. I love to do more of the. Um, exportation, you know, how can I help you? And you are meaning adults. Right. This is why I love being the coaches as well. I love working in HR and doing that in the military and doing that in civilian sector.

[00:23:25] Wendi: But at the same time, I know exactly what I bring to the table. I know the skills that are linked to the table. And so that’s what I want you to focus on. What skills, what exactly sets you apart? And it’s who you are, right? Who, who God has told you that you are.

[00:23:45] Wendi: And. Number three. Uh, intellectual property. A lot of us forget that we have this thing called our brain. That has not only gained a lot of experience, a lot of knowledge. A lot of different things based on your specialty. [00:24:00] Now, of course, you’ve heard this before. Oh, go do something that you’re doing in the military. If you were HR, go to HR. If your logistics go to logistics.

[00:24:09] Wendi: Don’t necessarily go with that. If that’s not what you want to do. If you’re like, oh, I hate HR and I never want to do it, especially not in civilian sector. Don’t do it. What I mean by intellectual poverty is. What, you know, as a problem solver. Really ask yourself, what is the specific value? That I have not only attained acquired, but also what is it that you want to continue to offer?

[00:24:37] Wendi: In this next career opportunity. And it could be anything, right? Like for me, it was all about systems and processes. I love sharing that. I love. Going into a new team and just doing that from scratch. That’s just what I love to do. I did it in the military. I set up this whole global electronic approval routing system.

[00:24:57] Wendi: At the core level. And everyone was [00:25:00] like, it’s going to take forever. It’s not gonna work. But it was a lie. I obviously had people. The, um, experts helping me. But at the same time, It took some skill, some intellectual property that I had learned previously. To put that together and I want to continue to do that in the civilian sector.

[00:25:23] Wendi: And I do that with my clients, with building their own systems. So, like not only they can, um, continue to do this with their families, with their loved ones, with their own personal, um, lives. But also, how do you continue to, to share And so like again, what is it that you have to offer? What is it that you want to continue?

[00:25:48] Wendi: To share with others. What is your intellectual property that you want to. Share and provide. And this next opportunity in the next. Um, chapter [00:26:00] of your life, whatever that may look like, you don’t have to go and work into corporate. You don’t have to go. And be a federal contractor, whatever. You know, most.

[00:26:12] Wendi: Military veterans You can look elsewhere, you can work for a nonprofit. You can again, build your own business. You can do your own podcast. You can do your own coaching. You can do your own real estate, whatever that looks like for What is it that you’re going to continue to offer? It could be problem solving.

[00:26:29] Wendi: It could be as simple as that you can work in sales. Whatever that may be. And so again, Being intentional with creating great. Like he talked about in the last episode versus getting sucked into conception. How do we do that? The three steps that I gave you today is. One knowing who you are based on who God says

[00:26:50] Wendi: Two. Think about what you’re offering, what skills you bring to the table, what’s setting you apart. In three, the intellectual property that you’ve gained. It could be as simple as [00:27:00] being a problem solver. What, you know, Based on what you’ve learned. What is it that you want to continue to offer? And your next career opportunity.

[00:27:13] Wendi: And this is how you can begin to embrace this transition. And really start getting this, um, This opportunity to plan for the possibilities that are out there for the future. It may not be something that you’re going to be doing now, but it’s something that you will be doing. Sooner than later. Regardless of you have 10 years left or 15 years left.

[00:27:36] Wendi: Before you transition. Because you just never know, and it’s better to start building this skill. Because it doesn’t have to be a career transition. It can be as simple as like, okay. What else could I be doing? What else? Really drives me. That I can start doing now to help me in the next three to five years.

[00:27:55] Wendi: Because I wish I would have done this. 10 years ago. That would have been a completely different [00:28:00] transition. Completely different. Um, conversation. But at the end of the day, It’s really what I think it’s made me also a better

[00:28:10] Wendi: Alright, ladies. I hope that this episode not only has been beneficial to you. But it also encourages you to get started on this planning. And really being consistent, focused on taking consistent action. Based on identifying. On how you’re going to solve your start selling yourself. How are you going to market yourself in a different manner?

[00:28:31] Wendi: By using these three steps. All right, ladies, have a beautiful rest of your week. Talk to you soon.