[00:00:56] Wendi: Hello ladies. And welcome to episode [00:01:00] 130 happy Monday. I hope that you were doing well. I hope that you are ready for the week that you have something planned that you have a goal for this week that you are. Not only focused on getting after it, but also to focusing on. Spending time with God spending time.

[00:01:17] Wendi: Alone and religious spending time arresting that’s really what I’m focused on. And. Really what I am really trying really hard to do as a, not only I continue to get bigger and, you know, um, have more trouble with my regular reading, but also. To help me, not only in the future, but really spend time with the family. So with that, I wanted to share with you all more.

[00:01:45] Wendi: Um, along the lines of what I have been sharing. So like the last two episodes I was talking about planning for your post-military career. And regardless of where you were at. Um, in your career, if you transition out of the military, It’s always a good idea to [00:02:00] kind of have that three-year plan or even if it’s a one-year plan, right? Like what is it that you kind of see yourself doing with it next year, within the next six months within the next two to three years, so on and so forth. And again, this is something that we don’t do as much, especially as women, especially as women in the military, especially as moms, wives, because we’re always so focused on others and we’re always so focused on our immediate needs.

[00:02:25] Wendi: And we forget about the possibility for the future. And now, yes, I get it. And I get this all the time, but you know, we can’t, you know, we have no control over the future. We don’t only future it’s so unpredictable and. You know, the way we live, especially if you’re active duty, there’s always no like no predictability. It’s always in certain.

[00:02:44] Wendi: I get it. That’s the way life is. But that doesn’t take away from you taking some time and investing in your future. And the possibilities and. What could it be? And, you know, with that comes prayer, right? Like really sitting down and praying [00:03:00] about what is it that God has for you, like asking him to guide you to.

[00:03:04] Wendi: Help you not only meet people, new people, but also other believers that will help you and guide you. In to what the possibilities may be. Right? Like we don’t know, they don’t know. Nobody knows I can’t sit here and tell you, this is what’s going to happen in the next year. Because I’d be lying I have no idea.

[00:03:22] Wendi: Um, and the same thing for myself. I have no idea what 2023 will look like and 25 So on and so forth. Of course. Yeah. We’re planning and we’re constantly thinking ahead, especially, you know, my husband being the way that he is, he loves to plan and just be ready for things that sometimes I’m like, no, we can wait. Like, especially when it comes to like finances, he’s like.

[00:03:45] Wendi: The one, that’s always doing the math and I’m like, I don’t want to do the math. I just want to indulge in the drama, which by the way, I do have, um, an episode about, um, math versus drama or indulgent and drama. Versus focusing on math. [00:04:00] Um, which. Reminds me, I need to, um, Give you that episode number and I’ll, and I’ll do that here shortly. But.

[00:04:12] Wendi: What I, where I was going with that before I got sidetracked Is really understanding that. Regardless of how far you are from transitioning or from making that pivot in your career. Or really considering something else. Is the reason it’s so important. And I talked about this in episode 1 28. Is because you want to be ready.

[00:04:38] Wendi: Or do you want to stay ready? Um, That’s really what it boils down to because you never know, right. Like life happens and you just never know. And at the end of the day, You want to be there to not only help provide for your family, but be the individual that is not only. Um, confident about what they’re doing [00:05:00] now, but also what the possibilities could be in the future.

[00:05:03] Wendi: And so episodes, the two previous episodes that we talked that I, um, shared recently. Um, I talked about planning, right? And like the five steps on, you know, what it’s, what you can do, or the five steps that you can take. In order to plan this post-military career, especially the further out, the better.

[00:05:25] Wendi: But if you are, um, you know, doing it now, when you have like six months from your transition or maybe three months from your transition, it’s completely okay. You can still. Be able to plan or have some type of plan before you get out. And so now with that, you know, like, let’s just say you are getting out soon and you know exactly what you want. You know, you’ve already taken, you know, the five steps that I mentioned in the previous episode, which is episode 1 29.

[00:05:54] Wendi: Let’s say you did all that already. Let’s say you’re like, okay. I know exactly what I want. I know what I’m getting out. [00:06:00] I have this amount of money that’s going to cover me. I know exactly where I’m going. Like you have answers to everything that I mentioned in the previous episode. And so now what now, what do you do.

[00:06:12] Wendi: Like, what’s the next thing. And. That’s what I’m here today to help you focus on, right? Because I mean, there’s this whole thing, like having a plan, but then there’s the other part of it. Like. The next steps, right? Like what is it that you need to do? What are the actions that need to be taken?

[00:06:31] Wendi: And so it’s going to be different for, for everyone, but what I want to give you, and, and these next two episodes. Really is the foundation of how you’re going to go about taking those steps, really the foundation of what it’s going to take for you to stay consistent, what it’s going to take for you to actually.

[00:06:49] Wendi: I want to take action because that’s really where the Delta is. Right. We all come up with plans. We all have this fancy planner. This. Fancy. Notebook full of [00:07:00] ideas, but then when it comes time to actually take an action. Or take the action. We get stuck. We get confused. We get overwhelmed. We have so much to do. And all of these things distract us.

[00:07:13] Wendi: And so what I want to do today is really focused on. The next step in. You know for you, you may be asking, well, what is next? What would that look like? Even though I know exactly what I want to do, where I want to be, how much money I have, how much money you want to make. And you know, all these other things that I’ve been checking off.

[00:07:39] Wendi: The real question is, you know, Is there something that’s going to be distracting me? From actually taking these steps from actually doing the work that comes with making that pivot, making that transition. And so. The way I want to start off. And again, I’m breaking this topic into two episodes. So [00:08:00] this episode.

[00:08:01] Wendi: Being 130, the next one, a hundred thirty one. I’m going to be talking. Or sharing with you kind of, you know, understanding why it’s so important to. Be in a more creative mode versus consumption mode. And by that, I mean, being able to stay focused on taking action every single day, um, regardless of when you’re getting out, but really staying consistent with the plan, staying consistent with the.

[00:08:30] Wendi: Actions that you want to take now? Of course, we’re always going to have to provide a warning, right? There’s always. I mean at Orono a Fraggle. I meant to say a Fraggle. There will always be changes, right? Like the weather’s going to change. The, um, the enemy is going to change its position. And by that, I mean, the distractions.

[00:08:51] Wendi: Each. Um, phase, it’s going to bring you different challenges and that is completely okay. And this is why I love. Not only staying proactive, [00:09:00] but also. Being able to understand why it’s so important to stay in creation mode versus consumption And I’ll share with you exactly what I mean by that. But I also want to prepare you for like the next episode that comes out for 131.

[00:09:14] Wendi: Which should come out that Wednesday. Um, immediately after this episode, you want to be able. To really acknowledge and. And understand what it is that it’s going to take. For you to not only be determined, but to stay consistent. And this other word that we all love to stay motivated into. Into how we’re going to show up for ourselves in the future.

[00:09:44] Wendi: Because the more we can do now, the better off we’re going to be in the future. It’s kinda like, I like to think about this as training for your half marathon. I mean, you can think about it as a full marathon, too. But. I’ve done half marathons and by the [00:10:00] way, I’m definitely going to do a full marathon.

[00:10:03] Wendi: In the very near future. I want to say 20, 23 again, not we’ll see, but. Um, that is my goal. Um, But focusing on it being, let’s just say, half a marathon. Because if you were to sign up for a half marathon, Oh week before. The marathon and you don’t train. And you just go for it, which most of us typically do.

[00:10:29] Wendi: Not that I said that I’ve done that before, but it’s something that I could see myself And you just go out there and you start running half a marathon. Yeah, you will finish it the time. Won’t be the best time. You’re going to be sore the next day. Your body’s going to ache and all those other things. Yeah. You can transition from one day to the next of course you can.

[00:10:48] Wendi: But the outcome and the result is not going to be what you wanted it to be if you were to prepare for it. Right. So if I know I’m going to do a half marathon, You know, the end of, um, in the next six months. [00:11:00] I am going to not only train for it or plan for it and train up for it, but I’m also going to set myself up for success.

[00:11:08] Wendi: Meaning that I am going to on the time that I want to achieve and, you know, um, really supersede. But also my body’s going to be super thankful and appreciative of me, not just going out there and, you know, just. Um, Harming my body with. You know, just waking up, rolling out of bed and doing 13.1 miles. I mean, of course we run in the military five.

[00:11:37] Wendi: Up to seven miles. Um, you know, at one at one time, especially. Free funeral, Fort Bragg. One of these force common But. You want to think about your transition? You want to think about how you’re going to position yourself in the future. Well in advance ahead of time. And so this is what I mean. And the reason [00:12:00] why I wanted to more specifically talk about this.

[00:12:03] Wendi: Is because again, we have so many hats over As female leaders, we have so many different things going on and only as wives, as woman of God as. You know, I’m mom’s as just trying to do different things. To help us grow and just. Be this individual. That can continue to be there for others. Right? So like, that’s just our nature.

[00:12:31] Wendi: And so what I want to focus on specifically, not, um, Not to say that men won’t go through this, which, you know, there are single men out there that are single fathers out there. I’m not taking away from that. But what I’m saying here is For the most part. And again how I know this, I struggled when I was transitioning. I was so.

[00:12:54] Wendi: Um, I was, I was not confident and I had so much self doubt, which by the way, [00:13:00] completely normal. But I was so unsure of what I wanted because I was one, not clear. On exactly what it was. That, um, that I wanted, um, or who I wanted to be. And so when we don’t understand that, and we don’t really take the time to figure that out ahead of time.

[00:13:21] Wendi: It becomes very hard and overwhelming. A lot of women. A lot of military women when they get out. They really don’t start looking for a job or for a career opportunity or for the next. Um, career path until they really have to. And sometimes it’s really late. And by that, I mean, like they’re struggling, they can’t pay their bills. They’re, um, you know, going through difficult relationships because of the way that.

[00:13:49] Wendi: Um, that they have to exit the military because they don’t know what they’re doing. And. It’s so painful to like, look at these numbers You know, hear [00:14:00] stories of female veterans that not only go homeless, but also, um, really become insecure about who they are after the military, because they’ve lost.

[00:14:11] Wendi: Or have the sense of. Of identity loss and that’s one of the things that I’m going to really focus on in the next episode. And really go over when it comes to our identity and you know who we are and who we’re becoming. And. Anything that involves your identity because that’s really where we struggle. We are already humans that are.

[00:14:36] Wendi: More insecure than men. And not only that, but we have so much on our shoulders that we then, you know, take away from. It being a good thing, right? Like. You being. A mom with three kids and you have a you’re in a full-time leadership and you’re a wife and you volunteered at your church or you volunteered this nonprofit. [00:15:00]

[00:15:00] Wendi: And oh, by the way, you’re also, um, you know, the soccer mom. Or the, the, the personal Uber for your kids for any sports or, you know, that person that someone always depends on, you know, it could be a friend or a sibling. You’re carrying or you’re, you’re wearing so many hats. You take away from that and you don’t really make it a strength. You make it more of a weakness.

[00:15:25] Wendi: And so that’s what I want to offer you today. I want to offer you to take a moment and. Really understand that who you are will never change. Even if it’s in the military or outside of the military. And so with. You know, I want to also be clear that. When we are, or the reasons we don’t like to plan, like I mentioned, in the earlier episode,

[00:15:50] Wendi: Or we don’t want to. Really think about the possibilities is because we don’t really. [00:16:00] No ourselves that well, so planning. For this new identity really makes it very confusing. And that’s really just a distraction that keeps us. Um, from really seeing what the possibilities could be. Now, I’m not saying you have to be constantly thinking where your transition, even though you’re retiring in the next 15 years, that’s not what

[00:16:24] Wendi: What I’m saying here is if you already know that you’re getting out and. You pretty much are, are ready to go with, you know, everything’s already in place, date, they’re getting out. Where’s your moving, where you were locating what you want to do. You, you really understand kind of like where you are.

[00:16:43] Wendi: And now we, you want to start taking these steps. I want to offer you today to really pay attention. If you are in creating mode or in consumption mode. And the reason I bring this up too, is because in the last episode I talked about. How we [00:17:00] sometimes like to over-complicate and confuse ourselves.

[00:17:02] Wendi: And then we want to buffer, or we want to, in another words, Um, Consume We want to. You something to distract us from really being honest with ourselves and real with ourselves on what we need to get done before the transition. So we’re like, okay. Instead of actually. Taking action and going towards that direction, into this transition.

[00:17:30] Wendi: Let me go ahead and maybe confuse myself or even better. Make occupy myself, make myself believe that there’s other things that I could be. Consumed in like on YouTube or on social media or on Netflix and Hulu. Um, work working extra hours or just making work. This one thing that keeps you away from not only your family, but also.

[00:17:57] Wendi: You planning your transition or thinking about the [00:18:00] transition. And so that’s what I want to talk about today. The difference. Have you. Actually taking action. Is if you are actually in creation mode. Versus in consumption mode. And so if you’re in creation mode, you’ll know. That you are not only creating new ideas for the possibilities of you getting out, you taking that plan and start taking action. So, okay. Exactly. How much one do you have in your savings account?

[00:18:30] Wendi: Are you ready to apply for jobs? Are you updating your resume? Are you taking a professional photo? I mean, what is it that you’re doing? That’s aligning with the plan that you have, obviously not everyone has to get out and go work for somebody, right? Like you can get out and build your own business. Like are, do you have a business plan? Are you reaching out

[00:18:50] Wendi: Veteran business nonprofits that are there to Are you. Already creating your item. If it’s an actual, [00:19:00] tangible item that you’re going to sell, or is it an idea? Is it the service? Whatever it may be. Are you really taking action? Towards creating that it could be going to school, right. When you get out, you can.

[00:19:12] Wendi: Go to a four year, um, and get true. Uh, a bachelor’s degree or whatever it may be. Uh, for your school or certification, have you signed up, have you registered? Are you getting everything together to help you? Pursue that degree, pursue that certification. What is it that you are actually creating? Because if you’re not, then you may be.

[00:19:35] Wendi: Over consuming. You may be in consumption mode. Most of the time. And that could include even overworking, right? Like you’re like hustling your way to this. Um, To, to this kind of like goal that you have for word, because you’re like, okay, I need to keep myself occupied. Because I don’t want to take any action on what I need to [00:20:00] do.

[00:20:00] Wendi: Or what I’ve planned to do. Because I’m using, is that a distraction? You not knowing. That you’re consciously doing this right. Or unconsciously And so yes, it becomes difficult. Yes. It becomes distracting and yes, it becomes time consuming. And so this is why I want you to really be honest with yourself. And this is where I wanted to start. Right? Like, are you one in creation mode or in consumption mode? Like which one are you.

[00:20:29] Wendi: Um, in the most, and it’s okay for you and consumption mode. Like, I’ll tell you right now. I, I mean, I had no idea what was on this, but I was. It’s very unfortunate. But that’s just the truth. And so, you know, you want to be honest with yourself and really begin to ask yourself, okay, what is it that it could be taken action on? What is it that it could be creating?

[00:20:51] Wendi: And again, it doesn’t have to be something tangible. It could be as simple as ideas, as simple as another plan for [00:21:00] where you, where you are missing. Um, that gap, like what if the gap is right now? And so it could be finances. It could be education. It could be, um, as simple as coaching or like, um, it could be.

[00:21:15] Wendi: Really, you know, as simple as the communication. Uh, conversation with your family. Whatever they may look like, you know, where are you? And are you taking these seriously? Especially if you like less than a year out. Two years out. You want to be able to do this sooner than later. Because, like I mentioned it in the previous episode, right? Like,

[00:21:38] Wendi: How can you embrace this transition process to benefit

[00:21:42] Wendi: For the future, not for like right now, even though our brains want to only operate and function for the right now, this is why there are a lot of procrastinators out there. Because we’re constantly thinking, okay, how can, what can I do right now? That’s going to help me right now versus what’s going to help me [00:22:00] in the future.

[00:22:01] Wendi: And so I want you to really. Not only take note, but also inventory of where the gap maybe. For you. If you need to be creating, um, this financial plan or hiring a financial advisor. Or registering for a degree, whatever that may look like for you, but instead at your other YouTube or you’re over there just overworking because you don’t want to think about it. You don’t, you don’t want to feel confused.

[00:22:30] Wendi: And you’re like indulgent in a drama. Which by the way is episode 106, how to separate the drama from the math. Of what actually needs to be done. That’s really what we ultimately When we are trying to, um, Into the consumption. Cause we’re like, we don’t want to indulge. I mean, we don’t want to do the math. We don’t want to do the work. We much rather indulge.

[00:22:54] Wendi: In the drama. W we much rather indulge in the consumption of what’s going to take [00:23:00] my focus away for that moment. Oh, well, I, what I like to call, what’s going to keep me buffering. So that I don’t have to think about that and I don’t have to feel this. You know, stress or anxiety. Why not. It’s completely normal. We get negative emotions all the time.

[00:23:16] Wendi: It’s okay to feel anxious every now and then it’s okay to be look stressed, a little overwhelmed. It’s going to

[00:23:23] Wendi: For those of you that don’t get stressed or anxious or overwhelmed. You’re not being honest with yourself. You’re not setting any goals. You’re not. Really looking for. Other opportunities or possibilities because you’re too comfortable. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Until. You’re in the next phase in your life. And now you’re like, oh great. Now, now what do I do right now? You’re going to feel overwhelmed and.

[00:23:48] Wendi: Possibly stressed out and anxious. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t or you aren’t able to manage it. Of course. Yeah. I’m at a point now where like, I know where. Where [00:24:00] I’m getting anxious. Like my body gives me that like red flag. I’m like, okay. Your heart is racing. Your, your body feels a little warm.

[00:24:09] Wendi: And I know that I’m getting like anxious or upset. I’m just getting overwhelmed. And it’s okay. And, and I can work And actually feel and allow that. But if you aren’t even aware that, Hey, it’s okay. That I get overwhelmed and confused a little. Bye. What I have planned already, and I have no idea how I’m going to get there, or really believe that I can actually.

[00:24:38] Wendi: Get this done. Then I want you to really take a moment and consider, you know, what is it? Or how are you going to embrace this process? To benefit you for the future. Because that’s really what it is. We’re doing a lot of the work now for

[00:24:57] Wendi: And so I want to leave you with this. [00:25:00] And again, the next episode it’s going to be. All about. Um, the tactics, right? Like really understanding.

[00:25:09] Wendi: The value that you bring. And how you want to, how you want to market yourself. Ahead of time. Four. That next. Phase and chapter of your life. But focusing primarily on your identity. I’m your identity that you already have and have had since the very beginning.

[00:25:32] Wendi: God created you even before you knew you were going to be here even before your parents knew you So I want to really dig deeper on that in the next episode. But for now, really be honest with yourself and ask yourself, am I creating or am I consuming more? Which And if it’s consuming. I want you to ask yourself, how can I begin to create more and less of the consumption, less of the distraction.

[00:25:58] Wendi: Less of the social media or the [00:26:00] overworking or the Netflixing, whatever it is you’re doing. Drinking, whatever it may be for you. And how can you get on track? So that you can be consistent with this plan that you do have for your feed yourself.

[00:26:15] Wendi: All right, ladies. I hope that this episode is beneficial and helpful, and I pray that you’re doing well. And I cannot wait to talk to you again soon. Have a beautiful rest of your day bye