Wendi: Hello, and welcome to episode 235. For those of you that are new here. Welcome. And if you summed up on this podcast, I’m super excited that you did, and I’m happy that you are tuning in because today’s topic is all about how are you feeling with where you are right now?

How are you feeling with your transition, with the work that you’re doing as a leader or just the work that you’re doing outside of the military? Maybe you are a full-time mom. Maybe. You are running your own business and today’s topic I wanted to talk about, because it occurred to me last week as I was preparing, and getting a couple loose ends tied up for the actual live event, which by the way, if you have not watched how to communicate your military experience to civilan employers, highly encourage that you tune in the link is in the show notes. But also to really take a moment [00:01:00] to go over your military experience and how you would communicate that to civilian employers, if this is a phase that you’re in or to also work on your offer if you’re a business owner or to talk about what you do, if you are in the corporate world or based on your career where you are free to rehearse that, because it’s so important because you never know who is out there looking for your talent, looking for you without telling you that they’re looking for you.

Right. So kind of being ready to talk about you and really show the value that you bring in. And I think that this is so important, not only for your career now. But also to prepare you for the next phase, right? Because this is what this podcast is all about. To equip you. With the things that you need to start considering today, taking action now to prepare you for the next phase for the next crew girl.

And that could even be just as simple as, a [00:02:00] promotion or maybe just looking at another opportunity, right. Because you’re not married at two. The job that you’re in now, or the role that you’re in now, and that includes a military, right? Maybe you don’t know, but you may be put on a medical board or you may get injured.

And so. Learning how to do that now is key. And also it’s going to save you a ton for the future. And so with all of that, what I was thinking as I was writing out only my newsletters, which by the way, come connect with me on LinkedIn. If you haven’t already, I do a weekly newsletter where it’s specifically. Geared for military women either transitioning out, but I promise you you’re going to learn so much more, , because it also involves emotional wellbeing, mental health. And as we are shedding some light for this month as well, it is suicide prevention month, and I am going to be throwing in other items on there.

That’s more outside of the career, right? More life-based more mental and emotional way. So Helene crochet com. And check it out, come connect with my LinkedIn, subscribe [00:03:00] to the newsletter. And I promise you every week I drop someone great information on there for you to read and also be a part of, and this is also where I share my feature events that we’ll be hosting, which is a once a month that I do a live event.

So I would love to meet you there and network with you there. And so as I was preparing for him a newsletter for my event, I was talking about how I felt entitled. To an opportunity. And so it really got me thinking of how sometimes I still feel entitled to certain things that I think should be not only necessarily given it to me, but should be a part of. My journey, right. And the example that I like to give here. Or maybe, kid resonate with you is, being a mom sometimes I’m like, well, you should listen to me.

Like I’m entitled. To you. Lists or to get your attention because I’m your mother, right? Or because, I’m the adult, whatever that may be for you, maybe you’re a caregiver., you’re the one that [00:04:00] is providing the guidance, providing that leadership, or maybe with your soldiers. Right.

Your airmen, your Marines. Whatever leadership position you’re in whatever you want to, be example that you want to give or whatever situation you’re in. Now, we sometimes feel entitled to that. And the example that I gave in my article was that I was entitled to having an opportunity or this career or this shop outside of the military.

So I’m like, I don’t need to prepare, I don’t need to prepare as much as I need to because. Who doesn’t want me to work for them. Right. Who doesn’t want me on their team? And so there was the source or not the source, but this sense of entitlement where I did think I needed to prepare or put as much work in ahead of time. And so I want to ask you, are you feeling entitled?

Are you feeling some, some type of entitlement that you don’t need to work as hard or you don’t need. To do [00:05:00] as much because. You should be provided that opportunity, or you should be given that respect and you should be given that attention. And so my hope for you today is to really take a moment and just. Be aware of where you are. With the work that you’re doing either professionally or even just as a mom, as a wife or as a friend. As the caregiver, whatever that may be for you we’re even just as someone that is wanting to be there in a relationship, right.

Because everything that we do is relationship based or work. We have relationships. Our significant other is relationships, our kids or family relationships. And so I want you to take a moment today to really ask yourself. And my feeling entitled to. Whatever, maybe to this career. To this job to my family. To this role as a mom, to this role as a leader, right?

Because sometimes. Women coming to [00:06:00] me or they’ve, I’ve worked with women that don’t feel motivated and they, because they were the rank or they have. , put in so much work so many years and they’ve reached, , this, seniority or this position,, now there is such a first class or a major or Lieutenant Colonel. And now they’re like, okay, well. why do I need to put in more work or more effort if, I, I deserve this, right?

Like I’m putting this position for a reason. But here’s the thing. This is what I always question, are you feeling entitled to that? And if you are, why do you think that you are? Because it’s so important to acknowledge what it is that we are entitled to, right. Like, why do we think we’re entitled to this job?

Right? Like why don’t some. Many of us as we’re getting out of the military, entitled to getting a great six-figure opportunity because we’ve been in a leadership role for over 10 years. Why do we feel entitled? Is it because we think that we do have all the experience and we shouldn’t put in as much work. And if that’s the answer, but there’s [00:07:00] nothing wrong with that, but I want you to really take a moment or a step back and really ask yourself. It’s filling entitled going to serve you, or is it going to keep you spinning? And also not paying attention to what’s out there, not paying attention to the things that you need to do. To be at that level, right.

Because most of us don’t have experience any corporate experience civilian experience because we went into the military as soon as we graduated from high school. And some of us like myself, I went in even before I graduated high school. So I had a minimal civilian experience. And by that I was waitressing.

I was working at the Clothing store , where I was pretty much sales associate I cashier. So I didn’t have that much experience to offer before the military. And then all the experience that I’ve had acquired was mainly my military leadership. Positions that have been held. Which is also great, but at the same time, I felt entitled, or I allowed this entitlement to [00:08:00] keep me from putting in. Additional work from actually from actually from actually putting in additional effort in other areas where I knew I needed. And so as the example, as a mom, right, we’re entitled sometimes to, being that leader or being that mom figure.

And we’re like, oh, they should listen to us. They should tell us every time they need our help. Or they should be able to communicate with us when we are needed. But here’s the truth. That’s just sometimes us thinking that that’s a natural thing for them to do. But if we haven’t put in the work, like actually talk to them and actually ask them questions and actually, feel compassionate for them.

We’re actually put additional work that is required based on your child and based on the individual that you’re caring for, then how are we in a position where they should be telling us that, right? Like why would we think that it requires work?

And so what I want to offer you today is to really consider and take a step back and [00:09:00] ask yourself. And my really feeling entitled. And if I am, is this serving me in or the other individual? Right? Is this serving. Your children is a serving your significant other. Is this serving your team? Because if you feel entitled that they should listen and do everything that you’ve told them, or, show up for formation on time and they don’t, there’s some work that needs to be done there, right?

Like there’s some growth. That needs to be happening. And so that’s what I want to offer you today. And the same thing goes, if you’re not feeling excited about transitioning out of the military and you’re like, oh my gosh, this is so hard. Like, why do I need to do a resume? Why do I need to go to 20 different interviews before getting a job?

Why do I need to network? Why do I have to go to different career fairs or different events? Like, why do I need to put in time if I already certain country and I did all this work, why do I need to do this? And if you’re asking these questions, that means that you’re feeling some type of entitlement and the same thing goes for in your work, right?

Your line of [00:10:00] work, let’s say you’re still in the military and you are frustrated that your team or your soldiers or your Marines or airmen are not on track or they’re not doing what they’re supposed to is there some sense of entitlement there and is it serving everyone? Because most of the time, it isn’t, when we feel entitled, it doesn’t serve yourself or others around you. So, if you’re transitioning out of the military, you feeling entitled, isn’t going to serve anyone because now you’re not putting additional work, right.

You’re not learning how to, improve your resume. You’re not finding any AI tools to help you improve that resume. You’re not, looking for other resources to help you with your certifications. You’re not looking at what schools are going to be available to help you with certain degrees or certifications. You’re not looking for a coach.

You’re not putting in time setting time to do the things that you need to do in order to transition successfully because they’re filling some type of entitlement. And that isn’t going to help you or your family or your loved ones in the long run. And so I want you to focus on that today. I want you to really ask yourself, how am [00:11:00] I feeling about my career, about you fill in the blank, my military transition. And my questioning.

Am I doing things out of, determination or motivation or doing things from a negative type of emotion, because if the answer is yes and, there’s some entitlement there. And I want to help you make the best decision that you can, but also provide you with the tools, provide you with. What is going to set you up for success for when you do get out.

And this is one of them. I want you to take a step back. If you’re frustrated about your interviews or you’re frustrated about these companies or the ATS systems not getting your resume to the next phase. I want you to really ask yourself, how am I using this for me or against you? And how can you now move in a direction where you’re not feeling entitled, where you are now going to use to help you put in the work and the effort to make it better. Meaning, where can you [00:12:00] improve?

Are you going to reach out to someone? Are you going to reach out your career coach or your transition specialist, how are you going to improve your interview process? Your interview prep. Are you going to possibly, refine your stories. Refine everything that you’ve, provided before and now you’re going to make it better.

What is it that you’re going to do and this include, as a mom, as a leader. What can you do differently? Right. And I think that this is key for when you’re not feeling motivated when you’re like, okay, I’ve done everything. I feel frustrated or I’m overwhelmed. This means that there’s something there, some sort of entitlement that you’ve, you did everything that you could, but the truth is that you haven’t right.

There’s always room for improvement. I know you heard this before. And so this is what I want to do today. I want to encourage you. To feel less entitled. And feel more encouraged to actually put in the work, put more effort [00:13:00] into what you’re already doing. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means that you need to make some changes. And be honest with yourself in really get to work. Because this is one of the things that prevented me from communicating my expertise, my experience, my skills might value. When it came time for interviews, because I’m like, who doesn’t want to hire me?

Like, I don’t need to rehearse and practice this interview prep or look into the companies as much. Someone’s going to hire me. Like they’re going to hire a veteran. A woman veteran. Duh, but that wasn’t the case. So, I don’t want you to make the same mistake and I want you to really start with acknowledging how you’re feeling now. If you’re overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s okay. It happens.

We’re all going to get frustrated. During our military transition parenting. In relationships as a leader. Like I have not met one person that said, oh yeah, I [00:14:00] have the best platoon company. Like I didn’t do. Any additional counselings? I didn’t do any additional paperwork. Admin. Because I have the perfect and the great. Team and people that I work with. Same thing for kids, right?

Like we don’t have perfect kids because we’re not perfect humans. And so we want to be able to put in some work. Like, where could we put in the work? It takes some responsibility. ’cause I think that that’s a lot of the times where a lot of us fail when our transition is that we don’t take responsibility.

We don’t take ownership of the work that is required for it to be successful. And so I want you to take a moment today. To whatever area that you’re, that you’re frustrated about or that you’re feeling entitled. I want you to really ask yourself, where do I need to put in the work? And how am I allowing this to serve me or possibly not serve you all right.

That’s all that I have for you today. I hope that this episode blesses you and that you begin to take action today. Have a [00:15:00] beautiful rest of the week. Bye.