Wendi: [00:00:00] Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for military women determined to focus on life outside of the military. As a woman veteran who once felt lost after leaving the military, I know firsthand the challenges that we face. Hi, my name is Wendi Wray, a woman of God, wife, mom of three, army veteran and career coach, and I’m on a mission to equip and empower women like yourself to excel in life and career with confidence.

Hello, and welcome I hope you’re ready to talk about rejection. I know not the best topic, but we need to talk about rejection because you will get rejected along the way. Not only in your life. But also in your military transition into the civil land sector. And I think that this topic. Is not talked about much.

And I want to shift some light on this, especially for my women community. For all of you. That are still active duty that are possibly [00:01:00] thinking about the transition. Or maybe are transitioning. And now I want you to really lean in to being rejected and also taking advantage of what it comes with when we get rejected. And I’m going to be focused more on the career search here, but let’s just say you’ve been rejected in a relationship. Or in an opportunity within the military within your active duty. Career journey.

I want you to also use this, but again, I’ll be using an example. Of a career search job search when you transition at it, when you transition out of the military. So with that. I know. Rejection sucks. I hate it. I don’t like it. I don’t think anyone that likes and appreciates being rejected because it immediately gives us. The opportunity to judge ourselves and beat ourselves up and in a way where it brings more judgment than grace. And so of [00:02:00] course it tells it’s terrible. It feels terrible. A lot of us avoid it. A lot of us try to pretend it that we’re never going to be rejected and that rejection doesn’t exist. But it does. And it’s completely okay. Because I want to offer you today too. Embrace it to lean into it and get the most out of it. Because listen, you will get rejected at one point of your career of your life. And why not take full advantage of what it comes with.

And by that, I mean, Providing yourself with as much feedback as possible when you do get rejected. So some of you, if you’re applying. And you’ve already received a notice or an email that says, you know, thank you for applying. We appreciate you applying, but we moved on to other candidates.

Then you’ve been rejected already just through your resume. But of course, most of the time is through the application tracking system. That will reject your resume to go to [00:03:00] the next phase, meaning that it’s not going to get put in front of a hiring manager. Or even more so a recruiter.

So I want you to take a moment and one go back to that moment where you did get rejected, you know, how did you feel? Did you feel like there was more doubt that came up for you? More uncertainty? Were you unmotivated. Like what happened for you in that moment, how did you feel other than feeling rejected? And I want you to just take the most out of that experience and take it as an opportunity for you to move forward in the career search in your job search. Because listen, you may get an interview.

You may get a few interviews. You may not get past the first interview or you may get to the last interview. But they may still tell you, thank you for your time and for applying and for considering working with us for us. But you are not the right candidate. So what now? And what I don’t want [00:04:00] is for you to feel completely discouraged and go into a cycle of self-doubt. A cycle of beating yourself up because at the end of the day, You will need some type of feedback. And unfortunately, Most of the feedback that you will get is being rejected for that opportunity to even maybe even make it to the next phase. Right? Or in your career maybe you didn’t make the promotion board and you may take that as a rejection of your leadership or even your career progression opportunity. Or maybe you’re being told that you’re now leaving the military, right?

Like you have to leave the military other medically. Through a medical board or just due to other administrative actions. And so now you’re, you may be feeling this rejection from either, an individual or just your career. So I want you to take the opportunity to get as much as you can out of this rejection, because that’s honestly the [00:05:00] only thing that we have control over.

We have no control over what company hires us. Of course, we do have some actions that we have responsibility for, but at the end of the day, are we the right fit for this opportunity? And so here is the number one thing that I always recommend. When you are in a phase where you’ve been rejected for a job offer. Either through a resume or an interview. I want you to focus on asking yourself these three questions. What worked, what didn’t work and what can you do better?

Very simple. I don’t want you to overcomplicate anything. And I want you to just focus on, let’s just say, it’s your resume. What information on there on your resume served or didn’t serve. So, were you able to translate your military experience? Were you able to quantify the result.

I want you to take a close look on [00:06:00] your resume and be able to identify things that also going to help you for future job applications. So comparing your job description with your resume. That way, it gives you an idea of, okay. Maybe I didn’t quantify certain bullet points. Maybe you forgot to add a specific result. That was possibly needed based on the job description. Maybe you need to bring this resume in front of someone else, right?

Maybe you need to consult with someone, an expert to help you understand what was missing. From that job application from that job opportunity. So when you start doing this, instead of just being like, okay, now I’m moving to the next job application or the next job opportunity.

You want to be able to take some time and identify. What you could have possibly done better for that specific job opportunity for that application for that job description. And when you do that, you take a [00:07:00] moment to give yourself feedback. Not only based on what could have gone better, but also what parts that you possibly missed, maybe forgot to add a certification.

Maybe you didn’t complete. The preferred qualifications, you didn’t add anything of that sort so you want to have an open mind on what worked and what didn’t work. Now with your interview, let’s just say you had a telephone interview. And they said, thank you but we’re just going to move on with other candidates or thank you for your time.

But unfortunately you are not the right fit. I want you to immediately after that phone call, after that interview face-to-face or virtual interview . I want you to focus on the same questions. What worked, what didn’t work and what can you do differently? And you know, what worked and what didn’t like

that’s just something that we, we can tell based off how we [00:08:00] responded and how confident we were. If that works or didn’t work so immediately. Oh man, I used a military term. Or, you know, that that didn’t work. What worked. Okay. I answered. Tell me about yourself with confidence. You know, things like that, identifying it right away.

And the reason I recommend that you do this immediately is because in that moment, You’re able to fully see exactly in picture back what you answered correctly and what you didn’t and sometimes even after an interview, I recommend my clients to immediately after you get out of the interview , like text it to yourself or write it down in your notepad. You know what you think went well, what you think didn’t because it’s fresh on your mind.

You’re still able to remember, and you’re still able to feel. You know, like where that gap was, you know? Oh man, I forgot to tell them. Y I really want to work for them or why I’m the best person for this opportunity. And so now. You’re going to pay more [00:09:00] attention for the next time that you go into an actual interview. Or the same for a resume right now, you’re going to make know and highlight. To quantify the specific bullet. And so you want to be able to have an open mind on how you can embrace being rejected.

How can you. Make it better for the next time. How can you then work on ensuring that whatever action that you can control, that you adjust, that you make the change for the next application that you submit with your resume for the next. Job interview that you have with a specific company. You know, you want to be able to do that as soon as possible while it’s fresh on your mind. But I really want you to take this as an after action review and for all my. Army people out there, you know? That an after action review and AAR is the most important thing we do after a [00:10:00] training event because the goal is to get better. And so I want to encourage you today. To one, not be discouraged and to two use this rejection as an opportunity for feedback for yourself. For the next opportunity for the next job application you need to be open to how can you make this better overall? Right? Because looking for a job, finding a job.

It’s a job within its own and so if you are like, okay, well I really need help with this. I have applied to over 50 opportunities. I’ve done 10 interviews or I completely bombed my first interview and it needs some help. I need some one-on-one. I want to invite you to come and schedule a consultation with me.

All you have to do is send me a direct message with the word career. And I’ll be happy to help you

all right, this is all that I have for you today. I hope that this is helpful and listen, if you haven’t connected with me on LinkedIn, come connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find me under Wendi Wray, W E N D I Last [00:11:00] name W R A Y. And it’s also in the show notes. All right, look forward to connecting with you soon. Bye.

Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged you or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military sister. All right. Talk to you soon. Bye